Post # 1
I know it’s not a huge deal, but I am nervous about the chemistry between my bridesmaids. I have 5 now, since I caved and added my younger cousin to the party.
Three of the girls are family: Maid/Matron of Honor Sister, Bridesmaid or Best Man Cousin, other Bridesmaid or Best Man cousin (first BM’s sister) and they’re all close (obvs.).
What I’m worried about are the other two. One of the BMs is my best friend from college, and she lives in AZ. She’s amazing, and would be my Maid/Matron of Honor if my sister didn’t get it by default. The other one is from my hometown, and I <3 her to pieces.
My sister is friends with both of the girls. My cousins don’t know them, and I’m concerned it’ll be uncomfortable. I love my cousins, but they’re a little different than my friends, and can come off bitchy if you don’t know them. My two ‘friend’ BMs are…perky, I guess? I know how my cousins behave around people like them, and I’m scared they’ll be ‘irritated’ and start a confrontation.
Or, they may totally behave themselves and just be good BMs!
I’m semi jealous of you ladies that have a core set of friends that are all close…It would make life much easier!
Do any of you have a group of girls that aren’t all friends? How did it turn out, for you married bees?
Post # 3
I was a bridesmaid that didn’t know the other girls. The bride had her 3 best friends who all grew up together, and I was her best friend from college. I had met them a few times at other functions but I was not friends with them. I actually didnt like them at all and they left me out of a lot of the planning. But regardless, I got along with them fine. It was really just a few times that I really needed to deal with them-at things like the shower and bachelorette I had other friends there that I could hang with. Other than that I was just so happy with be with the bride.
Post # 4
None of my bridesmaids really knew each other except maybe my sister was a little familiar with each one.
Friend from High School
Former Sorority Sister
9 year old cousin
It worked out fine. We had fun getting ready the day of, and they all had dates around (we were all staying at the venue) so they could wander off and talk to them too. It was nice for me to have my favorite ladies around, and since they didn’t know each other at all, they had no reason to dislike each other (also couldn’t really gang up on each other like the PP said). They just wanted to support me. 🙂
Post # 5
I’m in the same boat! One is a friend from High School, one is a cousin, and three are College Friends. Some have been introduced, but none of them are friends except for my college girls. They all except for one are also at least 200 miles away from me, which makes planning difficult.
It worked (or I guess “is working” might be a better term) out MUCH better than I thought! They’re using facebook as a means of communication, and so far it’s going really well! I’m really happy with the way they’re being open with each other, and even if there are differences, at least they have
And if they have disagreements or arguments, it’s easier to deal with them–they’re not worried about “ruining a friendship” so things actually are a lot less pressure (and go much better!)
Post # 5
I know for myself I am not to worried, my JR Bridesmaid or Best Man is my niece and she doesn’t know my Maid/Matron of Honor or other Bridesmaid or Best Man. She is 13 and I plan on making sure she feels included as much as possible. It does help that my Maid/Matron of Honor has two daughters just a tad older than my JR Bridesmaid or Best Man.
I would just try to include your cousin in as much as possible along with your other BM’s
Post # 6
I can definitely relate! My BMs are also a mixed group, and I’m hoping they can all have fun together even though they don’t all know each other well. My sister is friends with one of my other BMs, I have two that are really close from college, and my Maid/Matron of Honor is an old friend from summer camp who doesn’t really know any of the others.
I’m sure it will be lots of fun, but when my Maid/Matron of Honor mentioned planning a bachelorette party, I started thinking about what the dynamic will be like because it’s not like we’re all one close-knit group. For the most part, though, I’m sure your group of BMs will be fine–they’re all there to support you! I think it’s fine if they’re not all best friends…I’m hoping mine will become friendly from being in the Wedding Party together! Hopefully yours will, too.
Post # 7
None of mine are close friends (to each other), except my cousin and my sister. Other than that, they mostly have only met once or twice at most. I’m not too worried, though, because I have some very gregarious girls that will keep the others chatting.
Post # 8
My girls don’t know each other either. One’s my best friend from high school, one’s a friend I used to work with and the other is a close family friend, almost a cousin. Not much for them to do yet, but I’m sure they willall get along fine.
Post # 9
Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man1 are good friends; we all went to high school together.
Bridesmaid or Best Man2 is my Future Sister-In-Law, and she doesn’t really know any of the others.
Bridesmaid or Best Man3 is my best guy friend, who kind of knows Bridesmaid or Best Man2, and he knows Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man1 quite well because he went to our brother school and did theatre with us. He hasn’t really stayed in touch with them, though. I hope things aren’t too awkward between him and Bridesmaid or Best Man1; they used to date.
Bridesmaid or Best Man4 is my best friend from Japan. She not only doesn’t know anyone else, but she barely speaks any English, and none of the others speak any Japanese. That’s going to be really awkward.
Post # 10
I have a ridiculously large wedding party because I genuinely felt I couldn’t cut anyone. It’s going to be a little tricky because 6 out of 8 girls already know each other (we were all close college friends) and my Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t know them, but she has a very similar personality (if she had gone to college with us, we would have all been friends, I think)…my Future Sister-In-Law is very, very different. So I hope she feels comfortable!
For the wedding I’m in, 2/3 girls are close friends and I’m the odd one out. It’s a little comfortable, but you just make it work and keep the bride’s best interests at heart!
Post # 11
this makes me feel so much better! I thought for sure I was a weird case.
yeah, that’s the other thing that makes it harder, is we all live in different areas. I live in OR, sister and younger cousin live in Sacramento, AZ Bridesmaid or Best Man is in…well AZ, and hometown Bridesmaid or Best Man is in Napa. I keep in touch with them on email, and I post projects and stuff on my blog to keep them updated.
The only time they’ll be around each other is the bachelorette party, and my sister and younger cousin aren’t 21, so I think it’ll be fine. I think my older cousin will behave 🙂 And the Bridal shower and wedding day..they can do their own thing once it’s the reception!
Post # 12
I’m personally not having any BMs, but I was recently the Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding with three BMs (including me). None of us knew each other. Everything worked out fine!
Post # 13
I have no bridesmaids but 2 maid of honors- not only have they never met, but they are very different, and their first language is not the same!! So I hear your concerns…but if the wedding party has the bride’s best interests at heart, it all comes together!
Give out each girl’s contact info so they can make some of the effort themselves.
Post # 14
I’ve been in the situation where we didn’t know each other but the common thing is the bride and since everyone is SO excited for her I feel like it creates instant bonding =)
My BM’s are not all close, 4 are family members but then there are 2 that won’t know anyone. They talk now though (mostly through facebook) but I see them comment on each others pictures and such so I don’t think there will be an issue.
Post # 15
Cousin (from pacific northwest)
College friend (from the southwest)
High school friend (from midwest)
Never met before the rehearsal, and they did great working together as a team and really enjoyed each others’ company. 🙂