(Closed) Anyone else worried about people dying in the months just before your wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just happened..my mother-in-law died almost a month ago..and we’re less than 50 days away from the wedding. Devastating but we decided to go on with the wedding as planned – because it’a what she would want . She was soooooo happy about our marriage…besides, i have other people near 90 (!) attending and you never know so yes, we’re keeping the date

Post # 33
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@cerulean713:  

You’re right. It’s what we feel as well

Post # 34
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

The only auntie I have that really understands/cares about what I’m going through with my illness had her cancer spread to the lungs. She can barely talk it’s that bad. I don’t know what stage she is but i’d say 3 or 4. We’re probably not getting married for two years so she probably won’t make it.

Aside from that, all my grandparents are still living so I assume something terrible will happen in the next two years.

Post # 35
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You can’t worry about it. My husband’s grandfather, with whom he was extremely close, passed away a week before our wedding (on the thursday night-ish). We spent the weekend before the wedding do funeral and visitation stuff. Some things will just be no matter if you worry or not.

I work in a Health Promotion Prevention office and we do courses about preventing stress and healthy living. One question we always ask in our Stress course is “Do you have control over this particular situation?” If you don’t then you need to think about it a short time and then just let it go.

Just remember you have an amazing support system around you if anything does happen and just enjoy your planning time and time spent with your family members.

Post # 36
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was wondering if it was just me who worried about that?!  Both of my parents are still alive but my mom has early onset Alzheimer’s and we had to place her in a home back in October.  My father has many health issues and I have nightmare’s of him dying before the wedding. (Mine is also in 3 months)

But, I do have to remember that God is in control, not me, and it is His will, not mine. Plus, I’ve had several other “sane” ladies tell me it’s completely normal to become irrational or over emotinoal while planning a wedding, especially as it gets closer.

Anyway, thanks for sharing! Have a wonderful, blessed wedding day!!

Post # 37
Member
7776 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

DH’s mom died 6 months before our wedding. Honestly, death is a part of life. You just have to focus on the positive. Yes, it was terrible and we were both very sad that she wasn’t there but life has to go on. She wouldn’t have wanted us to change our plans.

Post # 38
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, this is something that I have always worried about. Before we got engaged, Fiance knew I wanted all 4 of my grandparents at the wedding. Unfortunately, one of my grandfathers took a turn for the worse last summer and is no longer with us. My other grandfather has late-stage Alzheimers.. I know he won’t be attending but I hope I am able to see him on my wedding day. I think this is something that most people have in the back of their mind, for non selfish reasons of course. My cousin’s wedding last summer was 2 days after my grandfather’s funeral. There was nothing anyone could have done, and it was difficult to celebrate right after something like that, but the wedding successfully went on as planned. 

Post # 39
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Future Mother-In-Law isn’t doing too well right now.  Yes, I have secretly worried a little: I want her to see her only unmarried son’s wedding.

But she’s also an amazing person, and I don’t want to lose her yet: wedding or no wedding.  And she knows how happy he & I are together.

Post # 40
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My grandmother. It is the onlygrandparent either of us have left. She can’t come to the wedding but she will be watching it live on web cam.  She is 84 and in and out of the hospital.  I get my fisty personality and fun sprit from her, middle name, hair color, well I am a mini grandma…well she is the mini now she shrank :). LOL 

Post # 41
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow…and I thought I was the only one with these crazy scary and sad thoughts jumbled up in my head.  My Grandfather, the man who raised me and my sister, passed away a year ago; he would have been the one to walk me down the aisle.  Now I’m sooo worried that my Grandmother might not make it to my wedding day.  I try to push the thoughts aside, but sometimes it just makes me so sad.  I know there’s really nothing I can do, so I try to just involve her as much as I can now.

@calypso522:  Awww…(((hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss.  That was such a sweet gesture to put flowers from your bouquet in her casket.

Post # 42
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I’ve worried about this as well.  My mom’s parents are extremely old and feeble.  My grandmother suffers from advancing dementia and my grandfather is just….kind of a shell.  They are extremely feeble and slow and just very delicate.  Our wedding is outside in June in NC, and it’s still very much up in the air about whether or not they will be there.  Sadly, I think it’s almost too much trouble for them to come, but that’s up to my mom and her siblings.  I do worry about something happening to either of them before the wedding…my mom and her siblings–as much as they’ve “come to terms” with their parents age–won’t handle it well when it happens.  My dad’s mom is a spry 81 and she’ll definitely be there with her husband…no worries there!  Fiance only has one surviving grandparent who lives in FL, and he definitely won’t be coming, too old and feeble as well.

Post # 43
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have this fear – partner’s dad had a massive coronary a year ago (he literally died twice in front of us, but was brought back by paramedics) & he had a mini-attack in October. He’s been on borrowed time for years & I’m worried he won’t make it to our wedding date in 2yrs.

Post # 44
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@fresitachulita:  we never worried about it, then this year in march and may both my partners parents passesd away, his mum was very sudden, and his dad went into hospital the same week as her funeral, we lost them both and now have to still plan a large wedding for october. It gives us a focus, then i landed into hospital 2 weeks ago, thankfully only appendix but had to have an operation, plans are away with the fearies just now… but we’re slowly getting back on track and it will all happen when its supposed to. Its very sad that his mum was so excited for us and wanted to be there, and was looking forward to us eventually ( and hopefully!) having grandkids for her as she never had any so far, and my partner is 49 now, so i think when i came on the scene she was probably feeling .. yippee!! her best friends confirmed this after she had passed away, im only thankfull she didnt suffer and it would have killed her when her partner passed away8 weeks later, these things happen for a reason but it doesnt take the sadness away.

Post # 45
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m worried about it. My Fi’s Grandmother on his dad’s side just got really bad news. Her heart is swelling and since she’s like…87, they can’t really operate on her. I’m really scared that she won’t make it another two months. It’s not something we talk about oo much because it’s such a delicate thing, but I know my Fiance is scared too. 

Post # 46
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves

I feel awfull about this cause I don’t want anyone dying or getting sick before my wedding.

Last year was my niece’s quinceañera which we waited for 2 years, a few weeks before it my grandma got sick and altough she was better by the time of the party, since it was Out of Town my parents and two other uncles didn’t want to go fearing something might happen, we cousins went in behalf of our parents and altough everyone understood I know my cousin and my niece were a bit sad not everyone was there, especially since they made special arrangements so grandma could assist.

Now I’m scared something like this might happen!

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