Post # 17
While my budget was not so large, a friend of mine was in a similar situation. Basically her parents offered to pay for a wedding without restraints. They have been wanting a house and saving for a downpayment so the first reaction was to ask her parents to put the big budget wedding money toward their downpayment fund but her parents said no. Her mom had a small wedding and was looking forward to planning a large affair for her only daughter’s wedding. They had a nice wedding at an awesome location with over 200 people but I am still shocked that her mom was so wedding focused knowing that her and her Fiance wanted a house instead. They essentially made the best of the gift and her mom got to host the big wedding she always wanted. I think you should really enjoy the gift and enjoy your wedding guilt free.
Post # 18
At first I thought to myself “our budget isn’t that large” but it’s 70K for one wedding ceremony/reception and 40K for the other (we’re interfaith and are having two separate weddings because the two cultures are extremely distinct and it’s important to us that both our mommies are happy!). Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s a LOT of money and I dont think I’d tell anyone aside from my parents how much money is being spent. We’re splitting the 70k wedding 60/40 with my parents (us on the larger half) and his parents are paying for the second “smaller” wedding but we give them money every month so all things considered, we’re paying half of that ourselves as well. Then if you factor in 7K of air fare and hotels… we’re well above any amount of money I’m comfortable spending. The worst part is, the 70K wedding is for 100 people and the 40K wedding is for 250 people. Just very different locations/tastes.
Even though we are putting in a lot of moeny ourselves, there isn’t really a choice. It’s really important to our families, we have it all saved and we’re still a year away so it’s fine. It just makes every decision feel so dramatic because it’s like, “I’m spending HOW MUCH on this? IT BETTER BE GOOD.” I always wonder if we’ll regret it afterwards if gd forbid something happens to our job situations.
As for you, OP, I totally get that they’re giving you this money exclusively for the wedding so ENJOY!! It’s really a blessing so don’t WASTE it by feeling guilty!
Post # 19
Check out this thread I started. It was for anyone over 50K, really.
Post # 20
@ivyjenny: thanks for posting your thread!
Post # 21
It seems like most of the bees with large budgets are getting some substantial help from parents. I guess you ladies just have to consider yourselves lucky and roll with it. I think it’s sort of your parents’ way of spoiling you a bit, and you have to remember, it’s something that they want to do for you. Congrats, I’d love to see some pics of these fairytale weddings!
Post # 22
Yep, it will be well over 100k when all is said and done. Thanks to my wonderful parents. It’s their choice to have the big wedding – Fiance and I are fine with it, but it’s not like I demanded all of this. It’s just kind of what our family does.
Fiance and I are paying for a few things ourselves – honeymoon, our rings of course, flower girl/ring bearer attire, officiant.
Post # 23
Our budget is around $140k (not including honeymoon or ering). It happens if you want a nice wedding in a big city. Sadly for our there are things we can’t afford and aren’t doing. I love it when people think big budget=buy everything. Cost of living people!!
Anyways, I’m fine with spending that much money. Obviously we wouldn’t spend this much money if it was going to hurt us financially in any way. I feel like if I gave a budget breakdown people would realize that we aren’t doing anything special, ya know?
Post # 24
+1 I hear you there. Most of our cost is in the venue minimum and per head cost. Our wedding will only be around 200-250 people (not huge really) and it’s not like I went and got a $10,000 dress – my dress actually only cost $1500 (pretty average I’d say). It’s going to be a very nice black tie event, but it’s honestly not some crazy over the top party with fireworks and a 10 foot cake!
Post # 25
Agreed! Glad someone understands. Our venue/food bill is going to be approx $48k. My dress was $2200 after tax/alterations. We are at 250 people invited. Nothing over the top here. The craziest thing I’m spending money on is flowers (centerpeices) and the band.
Post # 26
i think it has alot to do with the city you live in and how many guests you are having. If you live in a big city the price will obviously be higher. Im having 350 guests at $140 a plate….i dont think that price is outragious considering im having 5 courses. Having that many people means more tables to decorate, more flowers etc. It all adds up!
Post # 27
Totally! My 70K for 100 people in NYC is barely cutting it! People would think that I’m riding in on horses but really, I’ll have to take a cab to my venue! (Which I’d probably do anyway haha because I love pics of brides coming out of yellow cabs) Seriously though, things just cost a lot more in the city. It isn’t just limited to rent and gallons of milk 😉
Post # 28
Our budget was originally going to be $100k but it’s probably going to end up around $165,000. In the end it’s what we want and what will make us happy. As long as you aren’t going in debt doing it then why not? It’s your dream day.
Post # 29
I would love to see some pics from one of these amazing weddings. Have any of you bees posted recap pics on the board
Post # 31
Our budget is about 100K including a planner, but we live in Manhattan and are inviting 150 people. We are also paying for the wedding ourselves; his mom is putting on the rehearsal dinner, and my dad is paying for the brunch, but we would have paid for both if they hadn’t offered.
Obviously this is a great privilege, but we are in our mid-30s and are successful professionals who have both saved and worked very hard. If we did not have the money to hire a planner, we would be getting married at the courthouse and having a nice luncheon because we definitely don’t have time to plan a wedding (because of our crazy, workaholic careers). My mom keeps offering to buy us things, but she has much less money than my dad so I keep tactfully steering her away from that (she offered to buy my dress, but I know there’s no way in hell she realized that that would be 3K and I didn’t want her to know, either).
Like someone said upthread, we’re not spending money for money’s sake, but we wanted a cool venue in NYC, a good DJ, and a great photographer, and these things cost a lot in NYC. The cheapest wedding we have been to in the city was I think $25K and that was a friend who is an event planner and got her entire wedding at cost (basically a $50K wedding).
I do feel weird about spending so much on a wedding, and I know some people are probably going to be resentful that we were able to hire a planner and have a really nice wedding with basically no stress. But trust me, I know exactly how lucky I am to be in this position.