Post # 32
While I am not spending that much (I wish!) I am originally from the NJ/NYC and almost all of my friends weddings were at least 50k, with many wayyyyy upwards. I know a lot of the larger city/CA weddings are just expnsive. Small budget or big budget it all adds up. You are not doing anything wrong by having parents who want to provide the finances to have the wedding of your dreams. While it may feel strange at times, remember that they would not be putting out all that money unless they really wanted to.
Post # 33
okay I chickened out and deleted.. it’s Too Much Information ..
Post # 34
I chickened out too but I am also concerned that my FI’s ex will stalk me and try to find out our budget, etc… But that’s an entirely different thread. This thread makes me feel relieved that I am not alone out there regarding a generous budget. Unless you’re a millionaire, I think there’s always mixed feelings about this sort of thing. Knowing that others are going through it makes me feel normal. Thanks girls!
Post # 35
I live in Manhattan and we have a wedding budget of about 100k (my parents are paying for everything excluding our rings & the honeymoon). But we definitely still have to budget in NYC with an invite list of 250, and my parents ask of having the wedding in Manhattan. My dress cost less than 2k and we are taking cabs. Almost all of the budget is spent on the venue (includes space rental, food, open bar, chairs, tables, linens, etc)
I would have been equally happy with a small wedding in Vermont, but my parents were adamantly against a Destination Wedding, and that would have caused a huge family fight. So we decided to be very thankful and appreciative and let them throw their dream wedding.
Post # 36
I feel exactly the same way about the budget breakdown. I actually just posted a breakdown of my $115K budget yesterday to show all the items that go into a big budget wedding (or not)…if you look at it you will see that there isn’t anything super special that we had. http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/extremely-detailed-big-budget-wedding-where-the-money-went-115k
Post # 37
Our budget is probably around $75K at this point, but most of that is because of our guest list (which is large) and being in NYC, where everything is crazy expensive. I do feel a little weird sometimes about spending so much money – and I’d much rather have a downpayment on a house – but my parents really want to throw this wedding, want it done a certain way and they can afford it without having to raid their retirement funds or anything. So I’m really grateful for their gift and just trying not to feel too awkward about it.
It’s crazy, though – even with such a large budget, there are things I’d like to do but can’t afford. We wanted to bring in our own wedding cake (since we’re not wild about the venue’s bakery) but the places we’re looking at are like, $10 a slice. Minimum. We tasted some of Ron Ben-Israel’s cake at a wedding show the other day and Fiance and I were like, maybe we can save up and pay for the cake ourselves… and then we saw the cost. Ouch! And we just looked into having my favorite cookie place do the favors… but they start at $6.50 each. Again, that’s a no go. I feel like, for $75,000, we should have models in togas shoveling caviar onto our guests’ plates and a fountain flowing with fancy champagne… but no dice!
So on one hand, I feel like our budget is completely insane and I would really rather spend the money on practical things. But on the other hand, I could clearly spend about a zillion dollars throwing a wedding – with letterpress invitations, welcome bags in the hotels, calligraphy on the escort cards, a dessert table… oh, how I could spend it if I had it! Anyway, the fact that we’re not doing anything super lavish makes me feel a little bit better. (NO judgements, though – if you’ve got the cash for those things, I am totally jealous and happy for you!)
Post # 38
I live in the Napa/Sonoma Valley area of California meaning weddings don’t come cheap around here. In the end we spent around $75,000 for 130 guests.
I don’t feel guilty for what we spent and we paid for it ourselves, no debt acquired. We had originally intended to spend about a third of that but realized that to have our dream wedding we needed a more realistic “budget.” We went all out and didn’t hold back really. I am grateful we were in a place to not have to say no to much, if anything.
Post # 39
Wow, I can’t imagine having this kind of wedding budget. My parents don’t care if they attend or not (we’re eloping). I think that it’s perfectly fine to accept a gift like this (especially if parents are rich), just don’t go into debt for it. Boggles my mind how this kind of money can be spent on one day but I say enjoy it!! Make it a day to remember for years to come 🙂
Post # 40
Over 80k on a wedding…?
Not gonna lie, I’d probably go off the deep end: in the best way ever.
Unicorn drawn carriage? Check
Tiara Crown? Check (i personally dislike tiaras, but an actual headpiece is fair game ~_^)
Captain Picard officiating? Check
That’s all you need for a wedding, right? I feel like I’m missing something…
Post # 41
Can…can I come to your wedding? 😉
Post # 42
YESSSSSSSSS I WANT A UNICORN!
No seriously, though, I would cry tears of joy if anyone offered us 1/10th of what some of you ladies are spending. Also, glad I don’t live in a big city, otherwise we’d be eloping, haha.
Post # 43
Except 80K won’t even pay for that. My wedding (for the wedding itself not the other events around it) is going to be around 125K and we’re not having anything particularly lavish other than our venue…
Post # 44
Listen. You need to return everything you’ve got and get a unicorn. Dress, locale, whatever it may be. I feel you must be making bad purchases. Maybe you can just hire a crab fisherman to go capture a narwhal for you?
I’ll let you off the hook for the crown, as that might not be to your taste, but, c’mon…
Post # 45
another big budget….. my parents and his parents are amazing and are gifting us basically a full years salery! In all it will probably end up very close to the 6 figure mark when you include the honeymoon (engagement ring was his mothers so no ‘cost’ there so I also don’t include that)
we aren’t actually having a very over the top wedding and I am DIYing my heart out (sitting here with my calligraphy workbook practicing on our STD envelopes that we self designed and had done on vistaprint w a groupon!)
The biggest chunk of our cash (about $40K) will go to food and drink on the actual day of the wedding (saturday) but we will also be having a small rehersal dinner then a large cocktail hour on friday night with food and drink, brunch on saturday and sunday as well as food and drink available all weekend long at our venue (1920s gilded mansion in Berkshires)
Even with this budget I have had to make so many “sacrifices” (please don’t hate me for saying that!) – our #1 band and #1 cocktail hour musican were both out of budget (that would have been almost $20K alone), my #1 venue was so far out of our reach we never even went to see it (http://wheatleigh.com/ still swoon every time I think about it) and other things like letterpress, calligraphy etc is all not in the cards. Also going to be semi DIY flowers (we will be trying to make 1/2 of the centerpieces to cut down on flowers)
Basically 90% of our money is going to food and booze but what can I say we are italian (and he is jewish) so we are all about feeding and getting them drunk!
Post # 46
Our budget all in with honeymoons and rings is over 100k and we are paying all ourselves. But we are both 30 and don’t intend on being in debt for this so I am super excited. 50k for food, drinks and venue. 10k for band, 7k for photo and video, 6k for flowers. 5k for gown and tux And hair and makeup. 10k for honeymoon. 5k for rings. 1.5k for paper products. 6k rehearsal diinner. Man listing this out does not feel good. Lol