Post # 1
So, my fiance got my a gorgeous giant engagement ring. The shape of it is not condusive to adding a band, but I thought, hey, you need a band, right? So we went wedding band shopping…he got real quiet, so we left and he told me he was offended and hurt the ring wasn’t enough….wtf? I explained to him the band is the part that means you are married now, not engaged…he just didn’t get it…I’m dropping the point now, since I want the band to mean something, not signify an arguement – or something he doesn’t want….what are your thoughts? Did your men understand?? FYI..the band I want is only $600, so it’s not a $ thing….
Post # 3
I think you’re right to drop it for now. My husband didn’t get mad or anything, but we also went shopping for bands together so we bought them at the same time. He picked out the one he wanted first, then I picked one to go with my engagement ring.
Post # 4
Um… my husband was not offended per se… but he also wasn’t thrilled about it. He loves the ring he bought me (I do too!) and he definitely wasn’t excited to go shopping for something that might “take away” from it or something. In the end we found a ring we were both happy with, but he still doesn’t really take any ownership of it. I know a lot of married people feel their wedding band is the more important ring but to him the e-ring will always be more important.
Post # 5
My Fiance was all for getting me a wedding band. Does your Fiance know that there are engagement bands and wedding bands? Maybe he grew up being taught that a wedding band wasn’t neccessary? A lot of women do choose to just wear their engagement ring as their wedding band too.
Post # 6
I don’t think he gets “wedding bands” he told me he has never heard of it and thinks it is ridiculous. hmm.. I tried explaining to him I just love my ring, but it completes it and symbolizes that I’m married. He just refuses to understand. He said he put his heart and sould into the E ring, why would I want a band next to it that means nothing? I just don’t think he will “get it”….
Post # 7
It’s Hollywood! Grrr. In pretty much all movies and TV shows, the wedding ring looks just like an engagement ring, so it’s no wonder guys don’t understand that in real life, women wear two rings. Mine thankfully realizes this and he wouldn’t be offended by the wedding band, but I do understand how some guys just might not “get it”.
Post # 8
Fiance isn’t offended, though I had to explain to him a few times that the engagement ring was for “oh look at all of this money I have to buy you this crazy bauble, don’t you want to bear my children?”, and the band was “well, now that i’ve spent all of my money, have this band too. I don’t need to impress you anymore anyway…”
The band that came with my setting took away from the ring anyway, it covered up one of the side stones.
Post # 9
I just googled “What is the difference between an engagement ring and a wedding ring” and found some nice write ups that explained the difference very well. Here is a link you can have him read.
Post # 10
I get where you coming from. I have a 3 stone ring with a diamond band attached on either side. I really wanted a small 1/4 carat wedding band but when I tried it on with the Engagement Ring Fiance said it was a lil much. Being as though the e-ring was big enough on it’s own I agreed to just wear the e-ring. If you really feel that strong about it you should sit down and explain to him it is the symbolism of the wedding ring that means so much 2 you rather than apperance of it. Hopefully you guys can come to an agreement…… remember most of the marriage will end up with a compromise
Post # 11
Wow… that’s kinda crazy, in my opinion. My Fiance knew the engagement ring was really for me & can’t wait to get OUR bands! He totally got that the band signifies the unity of marriage.
Sorry you’re dealing with that. I’ll add ya’ll to my prayers, that your FI’s heart would be softened and that his offense would be removed so he can see the great meaning of the bands =)
Post # 12
Thanks so much ladies, and nortake for the meaning of the bands 🙂
I think I will drop it for now, and see maybe when we go to pick out his band if he mentions mine, if not, I’d be just as happy just to wear the E ring, because at the end of the day – all that matters to me is what is behind the ring, which is his love!
Post # 13
Ask him if he just plans on putting the same e ring you’ve been wearing on your finger at the ceremony during exchanging of the rings, lol. Maybe point out every married woman you know and her 2 rings.
Post # 14
@Gina-Marie: I didn’t even get a ring yet and when we talked about the engagement ring I talked about getting the wedding band later and he was like “another ring?”
Maybe some men are clueless, I was a little hurt. I’ve given up the idea of wearing two rings, I’m just going to wear an engagement ring and switch it to the left hand after.
*sigh* I feel so gulity already about everything being so expensive, we’re not even having a wedding, it’s an eloepement wedding and it’ll cost close to 8 grand or MORE so it just made me feel like I was saying, I NEED Two rings!
Post # 15
I think it’s odd that he’s never heard of wedding bands, but maybe it’s a regional/family thing that he’s just unfamiliar with. Fiance didn’t have any qualms about that and understood the purpose. I actually had a custom band made to sit flush with my e-ring, so his ring pick was still a prominent part of what I’ll be wearing every day. And often I explain to him that it’s nice to have a simple flat band to wear, since my engagement ring is so blingy (and I work with my hands). I also say how I don’t need a fancy band because the e-ring is so sparkly that it’s enough.
Post # 16
@Gina-Marie: “ I think I will drop it for now, and see maybe when we go to pick out his band if he mentions mine, if not, I’d be just as happy just to wear the E ring, because at the end of the day – all that matters to me is what is behind the ring, which is his love!”
((hugs)) Me too.