(Closed) Anyone else’s fiance offended about wedding band?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think you’re right to drop it for now. My husband didn’t get mad or anything, but we also went shopping for bands together so we bought them at the same time. He picked out the one he wanted first, then I picked one to go with my engagement ring.

Post # 4
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um… my husband was not offended per se… but he also wasn’t thrilled about it. He loves the ring he bought me (I do too!) and he definitely wasn’t excited to go shopping for something that might “take away” from it or something. In the end we found a ring we were both happy with, but he still doesn’t really take any ownership of it. I know a lot of married people feel their wedding band is the more important ring but to him the e-ring will always be more important. 

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

My Fiance was all for getting me a wedding band. Does your Fiance know that there are engagement bands and wedding bands? Maybe he grew up being taught that a wedding band wasn’t neccessary? A lot of women do choose to just wear their engagement ring as their wedding band too.

Post # 7
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s Hollywood! Grrr. In pretty much all movies and TV shows, the wedding ring looks just like an engagement ring, so it’s no wonder guys don’t understand that in real life, women wear two rings. Mine thankfully realizes this and he wouldn’t be offended by the wedding band, but I do understand how some guys just might not “get it”.

Post # 8
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee

Fiance isn’t offended, though I had to explain to him a few times that the engagement ring was for “oh look at all of this money I have to buy you this crazy bauble, don’t you want to bear my children?”, and the band was “well, now that i’ve spent all of my money, have this band too.  I don’t need to impress you anymore anyway…”

The band that came with my setting took away from the ring anyway, it covered up one of the side stones.  

Post # 10
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I get where you coming from. I have a 3 stone ring with a diamond band attached on either side. I really wanted a small 1/4 carat wedding band but when I tried it on with the Engagement Ring Fiance said it was a lil much. Being as though the  e-ring was big enough on it’s own I agreed to just wear the e-ring. If you really feel that strong about it you should sit down and explain to him it is the symbolism of the wedding ring that means so much 2 you rather than apperance of it. Hopefully you guys can come to an agreement…… remember most of the marriage will end up with a compromise

Post # 11
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wow… that’s kinda crazy, in my opinion. My Fiance knew the engagement ring was really for me & can’t wait to get OUR bands! He totally got that the band signifies the unity of marriage.

Sorry you’re dealing with that. I’ll add ya’ll to my prayers, that your FI’s heart would be softened and that his offense would be removed so he can see the great meaning of the bands =)

Post # 13
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ask him if he just plans on putting the same e ring you’ve been wearing on your finger at the ceremony during exchanging of the rings, lol. Maybe point out every married woman you know and her 2 rings.

Post # 14
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Gina-Marie:  I didn’t even get a ring yet and when we talked about the engagement ring  I talked about getting the wedding band later and he was like “another ring?” 

 

Maybe some men are clueless, I was a little hurt.   I’ve given up the idea of wearing two rings, I’m just going to wear an engagement ring and switch it to the left hand after. 

*sigh*   I feel so gulity already about everything being so expensive, we’re not even having a wedding, it’s an eloepement wedding and it’ll cost close to 8 grand or MORE so it just made me feel like I was saying, I NEED Two rings! 

Post # 15
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s odd that he’s never heard of wedding bands, but maybe it’s a regional/family thing that he’s just unfamiliar with.  Fiance didn’t have any qualms about that and understood the purpose.  I actually had a custom band made to sit flush with my e-ring, so his ring pick was still a prominent part of what I’ll be wearing every day.  And often I explain to him that it’s nice to have a simple flat band to wear, since my engagement ring is so blingy (and I work with my hands).  I also say how I don’t need a fancy band because the e-ring is so sparkly that it’s enough.

Post # 16
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

 

@Gina-Marie: “ I think I will drop it for now, and see maybe when we go to pick out his band if he mentions mine, if not, I’d be just as happy just to wear the E ring, because at the end of the day – all that matters to me is what is behind the ring, which is his love!”

((hugs))  Me too. 

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