(Closed) Anyone else’s fiance offended about wedding band?

posted 11 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Gina-Marie: Is that really the case? Where I’m from you need actual bands not other types of rings, and they are put on your finger when you’re married. You can’t take off the e-ring and then put it back on.

Post # 47
Member
42 posts
Newbee

@Gina-Marie: I think I will drop it for now, and see maybe when we go to pick out his band if he mentions mine, if not, I’d be just as happy just to wear the E ring, because at the end of the day – all that matters to me is what is behind the ring, which is his love!

I think this is a wise decision. If he told you he put his heart and soul into the engagement ring, I suspect that no matter how much “evidence” you show him that wedding bands are used too, he will still feel offended.

It’s up to you to decide if this is a hill you want to die on.

Post # 48
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow….Honestly me and your fiance’ are in the same boat lol  I have never been a ring person so all the stuff about wedding bands whatever flew over my head because I didn’t care.  I was happy to get the engagement ring and he’s getting me ring for the wedding that I love.  I can’t wear them together but I don’t care – It’s good that you gave him some air about it though.  It can be frustrating when what you “think” is being challenged

Post # 50
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think everyone here is on the money, so I won’t repeat. I’m just popping in to say I had no idea that e-rings and wedding bands were different until a couple of my friends got engaged (about a year before I did) because of the way my mom’s ring looks. She actually has two wedding bands (go figure) but they are teeny tiny and sautered to her antique e-ring, so as I was growing up I never realized they weren’t originally one piece.

That said, I have a very skinny half-eternity band that cost around $300. I only wear my e-ring about half the time now, because it’s way easier to have a flat band where I work, and I appreciate that I still have the symbolism of my marriage without having to worry about banging up my larger ring.

Post # 51
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Was watching Desperate housewives tonight and I’m sure I noticed gabby wearing one huge princess cut ring ALONE on her left ring ringer.  

It was flopping all over the place.   Odd. 

Post # 52
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@pink.sequins: it’s funny, i thought it was weird too when my fi was offended that i wanted a diamond wedding band–was my e-ring not enough? it totally is, but in my case my mom’s wedding band has diamonds so it did not even cross my mind that he could perceive that as an extravagance! we’re getting plain bands now (he insists wedding bands are supposed to be plain… the other things are anniversary rings… not worth the fight cause i liked both! it was just my preference) but i think the only drunk argument we have EVER had revolved around this topic. and it totally was not the money thing with him either–his budget for the ring is high, even IF i were getting a diamond band. it’s like a matter of principle or something….

Post # 53
Member
3993 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think it’s weird that he’s being so “offended” by it, honestly. Fiance and I went e-ring shopping together so he KNEW that there would be a wedding band (made obvious by the salespeople) but…I can’t imagine what there would be to be offended about. Yes the e-ring is pretty and symbolizes engagement. But the wedding band symbolizes….marriage. I get it when people don’t want e-rings; that makes perfect sense.

Post # 54
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

How odd!

My hubby knew there was going to be another ring, he just didn’t know that they came in so many different styles (and price ranges!).  He just thought when you got married you got a plain band.  Little did he know….

Post # 55
Member
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to get two rings. We bought each other bands for our engagement rings, and we’ll use those again as wedding bands. I don’t think anyone “needs” to do anything, especially if your only reason for doing it is that “it’s what everyone else does.”

(Strangely enough, it’s clearly not what “everyone does” – many women from my mom’s generation only used one ring for both their engagement ring and their wedding band.)

Post # 57
Member
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Gina-Marie: Oops – I wasn’t replying directly to you, but to the people claiming that every married woman wears 2 rings and so he should know better, and that it’s totally weird or odd to do anything else. I’m not just talking from personal experience! It really depends on culture, age, geographic location, etc. Honestly, when I see a woman wearing an engagement ring and a wedding band I tend not to think “normal,” but “wow! That’s a lot of jewelry!” Most married ladies I know really do just wear one or the other. 

Post # 58
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Thankfully, DH was not offended. He didn’t care what style I picked, but I think he was glad I went with a plain wedding band that didn’t overwhelm my e-ring. An ornate band would have looked gaudy on my finger.

Post # 59
Member
3786 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Until we started looking at rings together Fiance had no idea that 2 rings were normal. His mom has an engagement and wedding ring but they are sodered together so I don’t think he realized it was 2 rings. We were looking at sets online and he kept asking why there were 2 rings so I explained it to him and he kept saying that he didn’t think it was normal. I pulled up some friends’ facebook pages and showed him pictures. When he bought my engagement ring he bought a set 🙂

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