(Closed) Anyone else's FMIL trying to wear white?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While its commonly known that the bride should be the only one in white, you can’t really tell a grown adult what not to wear. I think I’d give up this battle.

Post # 33
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

I would be irritated, especially since you’ve told her several times you don’t want her to wear that, but really, it’s a faux-pas and she’s the one who’s going to look like an idoit to the guests and in all the pictures… 

Post # 35
Member
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sigh…I’m having this exact issue with my Future Mother-In-Law. She wants to wear the ivory dress that she wore to FBIL’s wedding like 10 years ago. Apparently she looked amazing, but…my dress is ivory. I don’t want her (or anyone) wearing white or ivory. No one sees a problem. I’ve tried to get Fiance to talk to her about it, but he doesn’t get what the problem is. I told him that no one else is supposed to wear white or ivory to a wedding. I don’t understand why she’d even want to wear a dress from 10 years ago. Her reasoning is that she doesn’t want to go find a new dress, even though this one is probably out of style/might not even fit anymore. Sigh.

Post # 37
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

To be honest, I don’t even remember what my Mother-In-Law wore to our wedding (it was December 30th…of this recent last year). It isn’t AS BIG of a deal as everyone thinks it is (I think 2 people wore sweatpants to my reception- I didn’t even notice until I looked at pictures. They did wear dresses/suits to the wedding though).

If it really bothers you, offer to buy her a new, colored dress.

Post # 38
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@vorpalette:  

View original reply
@MissEMich:  

i think I’m going to have to come out to both your weddings and stand guard! 

Post # 39
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@AcheneMalefic: 

But it’s a big deal for her, and she’s repeatedly told her Future Mother-In-Law her feelings on the issue. 

And sweatpants to a reception?! Oyeeeee! 

Post # 40
Member
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

@UltrasoundTech:  If you’ve told her how you feel multiple times and she’s still being stubborn, I would definitely tell her she has to get a new dress. Tell her you’ll buy it, or pay for 1/2, whatever…bottom line is, it’s YOUR wedding. I can understand a stray guest wearing off-white and not realizing since they didn’t speak to you beforehand…but for the Future Mother-In-Law to know the bride’s feelings and ignore them….and then expect to be in the bridal room? Not cool. (ETA- Just realized OP is not the one that responded to me, whoops! Anyway, it still applies lol)

 

Yeah, the sweatpants were a *bit* tacky, but it was my younger sister’s friends. Thankfully, they only wore them to the reception.

Post # 43
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MissEMich:  This isn’t funny but my Mother-In-Law is only 10 years older than I am and she DID wear an ivory lace dress to our beach wedding – and my dress was ivory lace. I saw the clothes she brought and several other dresses would have been far more appropriate. When she told me she was thinking about wearing the ivory lace I said, “Well then we can be twins”, thinking she’d re-think it. There were only 8 of us and everyone who sees the pictures wonders why she wore that dress.

It will reflect on your Mother-In-Law that she made a bad choice. I’d suggest taking her aside and specifically asking her to make another choice. If she doesn’t it will make her look foolish. Don’t stress about it and don’t stand next to her in any photos.

Post # 44
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@SoonToBeMrsRiley:  haha you are not the only one! It was quite the surprise… to everyone

Post # 45
Member
938 posts
Busy bee

@MissEMich:  Personally, it wouldn’t bother me at all. There will be huindreds of pictures of me taken on our wedding day. To not be in one wouldn’t faze me at all.

We have actually requested our photographer take photos of Future Mother-In-Law, Fiance and SIL, as well as Future Sister-In-Law and her family with and without Future Mother-In-Law. FI’s family isn’t the kind to get professional photos of themselves together, and I know how much Future Mother-In-Law likes to display family pictures. We plan to frame them and give them as gifts for Christmas, or as a Thank You gift. 

Post # 46
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

@MissEMich:  I’d let it go.  Ask yourself, is it really going to seem important 10 years from now?  Not worth the argument and having a sour note with your Future Mother-In-Law, IMO.

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