Anyone else's mental health taking a hit…?

posted 7 months ago in Beehive
Post # 31
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I am not doing well. And I feel guilty about even that. I haven’t left the house in 6 weeks, and haven’t even been in the garden for 2. I am too terrified of heavy handed police and vigilantes thinking I am breaking the lockdown. Technically I am allowed to go out once a day for exercise and for food; but my fiancé is a key worker so is going out and getting food etc on the way home from work so I don’t have to face my fears. I am lucky in that I am still employed and am working fully from home. We are not suffering anything like a lot of people, but I still feel hopeless. I can’t say that to anyone in real life as I will sound ungrateful and self indulgent. We postponed the wedding to next year and are covering any losses that people might incur as result (it was a destination wedding in July but clearly that’s not going to happen now). I feel guilty about feeling sad about that too. I am not sure I will be able to go out again even if we are allowed at some point in the future. I am not sure what to do. I don’t see the point of anything.

Post # 32
Member
805 posts
Busy bee

You’re not alone OP – to be honest, I tend to get quite worried about friends who are saying they’re loving lockdown, because I think they are the ones who are not responding normally right now – being anxious, depressed, tearful, angry, frightened or frustrated are all normal responses to this extreme situation.

I’m an introvert, so find it easy to spend long periods of time on my own, but I do miss my fiance terribly, especially as we don’t know when we can get married.  I’m working four afternoons a week, but find it extra stressful going out to work (I can’t work from home) as everything is so different, it’s a constant reminder of what is happening.  Plus the rest of my work is cancelled, so things are worrying financially. 

I started finding it really hard to leave the house on Monday afternoon, after spending 2.5 days at home, so I’ve deliberately signed up for a volunteer role that means I have to leave the house for at least one hour a day EVERY day (it’s a local group offering help to people who can’t leave their houses, buying shopping, getting medicine etc).  Some days it is so hard to walk through the front door, but I know I need to keep doing it.

Other things that have helped are getting as much fresh air as possible – I have a tiny garden, and I spend as much time as possible sitting out in it, even if I have to wrap up in blankets when it’s cold!  (If you don’t have a garden, try sitting near an open window).  I also try to make sure I do something useful around the house each day, even if it’s just washing some dishes or dusting one room.  And I’ve accepted that some days are harder than others – on the worst days, it’s an ‘achievement’ if I’ve got dressed and eaten something.  On better days, I try to encourage myself to do a bit more!

Don’t underestimate how physically exhausting the constant stress is either – I’m finding I can do less as we get further into lockdown because I am having less and less energy.  Again, I think this is normal, as our energy is depleted by the ongoing stress, and we don’t have access to many of the things that would normally ‘recharge’ us, such as friends, family or visits to places we love.  Be gentle with yourself, and please, if you are getting to the desperate stage, reach out to someone for help, whether it’s a friend, a professional or a helpline – every country has at least one support line for people who are feeling depressed or suicidal.  We may have to stay physically apart, but no one has to go through this alone.  Sending hugs to all those who are suffering today xxx

Post # 33
Member
805 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
flybynight2020 :  I am so sorry to hear what a rough time you are going through.

Don’t feel guilty – this is a horrendous situation and it does affect some people more than others.  Do try to keep going out into your garden though – it’s obviously something that is permitted where you are, the fresh air will do you good, and it will help keep you from becoming so reclusive that you struggle to resume normal life once this is over.  If it feels too hard at first, just take one step outside and back in and gradually increase the distance and duration until you are able to sit out in your garden.  I know I feel so much better on the days when I get some sunlight and fresh air on me.

And please – keep talking to someone.  Vent on here, talk to a friend or ring a helpline.  I know it seems impossible now, but we will come through this xxx  

Post # 34
Member
1964 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Me! 🙁 Baby blues don’t help either. 

Post # 35
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My anxiety seems to have the opposite effect on me. I usually get anxiety in literally ANY sort of social situation, so for me getting the perfect excuse to not have to see anyone is working wonders for my mental health! I have been so much happier working from home and only seeing our parents from a distance when I drop off groceries. I believe my anxiety will ultimately be amplified when we return to normal, after having the luxury of solitude itll be so difficult for me to be in social situations for the first while so I’m nervous about that. Right now I’m just trying to enjoy the peace. 

Post # 36
Member
2310 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

So hard on so many people.  

They say in New Zealand that 10% of the population will get depression over this 😔

Post # 37
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

I’ve read that it’s the denial, depression and then slowly with the understanding of the situation comes adaptation. You’re probably still trying to adjust which is fine.

I was waaaaayy worse about  month ago. Panic, denial, feeling lost, clash of wishes and reality, fear you name it. I’d get into burst of tears just for nothing and sit on the couch anxiously but still wanting to go out, but afraid to catch the virus etc. We’d moved to another city and virus hit it the worst (it’s like almost the entire cases in our country is in the new city we moved). 1 day after we moved I got seriously sick with the worst flu, but I wasn’t tested for Covid-19, will never know if I had it already. Then, stay at home orders and then curfew… We can’t go out and all those hit me hard. 

At this point, it’s been 2 months since I’ve been isolating at home, currently husband has to go to work unless we have curfew. I have been to hell and came back. Now, slowly I started to go out a couple times a week, gotten used to masks, made peace with staying at home and cleaning way more than I used to, overall accepted the situation. Mentally things are so much better and I promise you can get out of these by letting some things go, find a balance in your routine, keep a diary, or simply dress up for yourself. 

Post # 38
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

View original reply
teaandcake :  thank you for your kind words. OP, sorry to derail your thread.

Post # 39
Hostess
4627 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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brideandblue :  I definitely feel you.  I’m an extrovert and though I have my D.H. and my dog, I’m having a hard time.  Trying to navigate what my D.H. should do about his career (his work environment pre-COVID was pretty toxic) when we reopen, wondering if we should TTC this year or not, and not being near my family has been really hard.  I’ve always been a gym rat and big on nutrition, so I’ve been focused on staying on my plan, creatively doing my strength training at home, and making sure I get virtual happy hours with friends on a regular basis so I don’t go fully crazy.  I even miss pointlessly long in person work meetings.  It helps somewhat to know that everyone is going through this to some extent, though I feel for everyone struggling. 

Post # 40
Member
3040 posts
Sugar bee

It’s a struggle. 

While I’m fortunate to have a job where I can work from home (as does my spouse), there’s so much stress.  I really struggle sometimes to stay focused and productive while “at work”. Sometimes, I catch myself mindlessly staring at the computer screen not remembering what I’m supposed to do or how to do it.

My brother lost his job and we’ve been helping him financially as much as we can. My parents are being really non-compliant with social distancing and they are hosting “social distancing cocktail parties”.  (I ratted on them to all of my siblings who all agreed they don’t get to come near the grandkids for the duration.)  We’re dealing with food shortages and inability to get certain items, which makes meal planning hard plus we have some food alleriges to work around…makes it harder to find substitutes. (And we prepped early and are well stocked on shelf stable items, thankfully.)

I have moments where I just want everyone to leave me alone and stop calling me/texting me/messaging me/asking me questions/needing anything from me.  I just want to be left along to read a book and drink some tea. 

Post # 41
Member
48 posts
Newbee

Yes. Short answer, yes. I thought I was the chill cool bride who didn’t care about a wedding. When that got tested, turns out I do want it. Covid-19 has become such a monster that I feel is only getting bigger and bigger and is hiding behind corners. The loss of control is the most disheartening. I literally have to let it all go. Planning is no more. Plans laugh in my face. What’s the point of making any plans? Plans B, C, D and XYZ are ok but I don’t dare think of plan A. 

Wedding aside, I break at the thought of losing someone I love. I lose it when I think of someone I know being ill. Worst of all, I feel guilt knowing that people are losing their loved ones and I’m here hoping that our wedding goes through. At the same time, it has made me grateful to be alive and have health. It’s such a mind fu**. 

One day at a time, sweet Jesus! All of this has made me more aware of the facade ones goals and aspirations provide, that I have control, nope God is in control. But I have been living like I am the one calling the shots, I have not been walking with Him. Faith, true faith is built on a foundation of a total loss of control. 

Post # 42
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

(spammy crap) 

Post # 43
Member
4372 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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@gabikramer:  You SERIOUSLY resurrected a heart wrenching thread to post your spammy crap? GTFOutta here. 

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