Post # 1
My Fiance just got laid off, and our wedding is 3 months away. I think we will survive financially on unemployment and my salary. I am just worried about his emotional well being and what this stress may due to our upcoming marriage. Any advice on how to support someone and maintain a good relationship.
By The Way I am so glad we held off on sending his former boss an invitation!
Post # 3
So sorry to hear about that. My Fiance was laid off about three months before we were engaged. It was a hard time. I think the most you can do is be there for him and support him, no matter what. My Fiance talked a lot about possibly changing careers and I was always open-minded and up for discussing options. I always cheered him on when he had interviews and never nagged him about “what he did all day.” Although, luckily, he isn’t a lazy person, and spent a lot of time job searching and cleaning. I think it was hardest for him to be laid off….as a man. And that is sadly something, I just can’t relate to or help him with. But, I was always there for him, no matter what…and I know that meant a lot to him.
Good luck to your FI!
Post # 4
Mine did. I was really worried about what it would do to our new marriage, but the advice I got from someone who had been there helped the whole experience actually draw us closer..
Agree with VegasBaby – this is a lot harder on men. They wrap a lot more of their self esteem in their careers than women typically do. which means he will need to get more of that from you. So the advice I got (from a very independent, partner at a large firm married woman): 1. Worship him 2. Don’t ask a lot of questions. #1 because he needs to feel loved/needed/special and he will look to you for that – make him feel great when you see him at night because most of the day he will feel like crap. #2 because although it might seem well meaning, he will feel like you are judging him, and his ego is already bruised.
he will have days where he is really productive and days when he will sit around and watch tv all day. you won’t be able to help being annoyed when he is lazy, but the best thing you can do is complain about it to anyone but him. Be supportive, if he wants to take up a hobby, or go visit friends, or switch careers – vegas baby is totally right – you should be his rock now!! it will be well worth it
Post # 5
mine didn’t get laid off but he’s on terminal leave. I leave him a ‘honey-do’ list. I tell him how excited i am for him to do all these manly things around the house–like put up a fence and paint the bedrooms and all that other stuff that can finally be done! He cooks and cleans and everything and i just make sure i’m extra appreciative towards him. Granted, he’s only been home a few weeks, but he seems to be doing okay ego-wise. But, maybe that’s cuz it’s football season…=]