Post # 1
Just got off the phone with SO. Out of no where he says about not getting gifts for eachother for christmas, and instead putting that money towards a trip. 1) I WANT a gift, 2) he hasnt got me BD gitfts (have had 2 BDs with him so far…while no gift, he does take me out for a really nice meal), 3) I wouldnt be so mad if he said lets save for a house/engagement ring and 4) I have a feeling this “trip” wont really happen.
After spending last xmas with his family, I realized they are not gift people (his mom got me soap for example). I know not everyone feels the need to express themselves wth gifts but I LOVE xmas!! I wanna open a gift on xmas morning!!
Anyone else deal with this??
BTW, its not like he doesnt get me anything. I mean, he surprised me with a cookie the other day. I just dont think he gets that girls like presents!
Post # 3
mine gives gifts but they are significantly less than what I give him. At first I got disppointed, but i learned that that is how he grew up and it has nothing to do with his love for me. I still give him lots/expensive gifts and go over by budget at each “holiday” but i don’t expect the same in return 🙂
Post # 4
You should tell him what you think. And once he knows it’s important to you, he should make an effort to accommodate you not because he understands or agrees but because he wants you to be happy /shrug
Post # 5
When we’re trying to save money, we do home made gifts! My FI once made me an oragami bouquet of roses, it was awesome!
Post # 6
When it comes to birthdays and Christmas, DH always drags his feet and does his shopping at the last minute for me, whereas I plan his gifts months in advance, buying a few here and there.
Sometimes though, he just randomly buys me presents. The other day he suprised me with a brand new Lexus hybrid car.. so I guess I shouldnt complain!!!
Post # 7
@mrssoontobeh: Yep! My FI is like this. I love that man so much but he is just not a talented gift giver. Like your FI, his family is just not a gift giving family. They don’t care much about giving or getting gifts. He will do anything for me though.
Have you read the 5 Love Languages? One of the love language types is giving and receiving gifts. That is how you feel loved. And, IMO, it is not about about getting presents, it is about being thought of and acknowledged, and also listened to. Someone saying ‘you are worth these flowers’ or ‘i saw this and thought of you’ or ‘i heard you say you need this kitchen implement/whatever.’
Maybe that is your love language type? It definitely is mine. After I showed my FI the chapter on it, he has been doing better. He just never understood WHY it was such a big deal to receive a present from him.
Post # 8
Yep, my husband is the same way. His family are very generous gift giving people, however when he was growing up everyone would chip in for one big gift, so he never really chose gifts for people. Everyone has their quirks and it really doesn’t bother me because he has so many good qualities that outshine this…if I need something he’ll help me out and he isn’t cheap about it (he bought me my computer a few years ago), but for birthdays and the holidays it is not really his thing. I’ve resigned myself to this, so instead we tend to make a nice dinner or go out for special occations.
Post # 9
DH is a horrible gift giver, and I mean HORRIBLE (eh, he knows it) Last year for xmas he went out ON Christmas morning, went to CVS pharmacy and picked up a few things there. I cannot tell you how unexcited I was to open up that horrible battery operated back massager pillow or the coin sorting machine. *Sigh* I love him, but I would rather just stick to buying myself a few goodies while I am doing the rest of the shopping.
Post # 10
My FI is actually very good in this department….he doesn’t buy me alot of gifts but the ones he does are good and full of meaning. For example 2 weeks into dating he bought me a ring that cost at least $500 with diamonds because he wanted me to know he saw a future with me 🙂
Post # 11
FI and I don’t do gifts. We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Days and we’re lucky we remember anniverserys 😛 It’s just not a big deal to us.
Post # 12
My FI is the same way. His idea of a gift is a gift card, while I can’t stand giving gift cards because I feel like its a bit of a cop out. I like to put a lot of thought into the gifts that I give people. Last year for Christmas we actually did what your FI suggested, but at my suggestion. My favorite thing about Christmas morning is going through my stocking with all the little trinkets so we agreed on filling eachother’s stocking (we set a dollar limit so they would be somewhat equal) and then we saved the rest of the money we would have spent to go to the coast for New Year’s. I actually really liked doing it this way – I didn’t feel jipped on gifts because I got to open a stocking and we got to take a romantic trip to reconnect with eachother after all of the holiday craziness. We’re thinking about doing the same thing this year!
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
I have to tell FI what I want. For example, last week I showed him an engagement memory book I wanted for my birthday. When he gave me the gift a couple hours ago, he gave me (a different version) of the book I wanted. (he also gave me jk rowling’s new book, but i mentioned wanting that a couple of months ago and $30 towards a new purse, ALSO something I told him I want). I have to tell FI what I want or else he’ll go and get me another DVD of some movie I’ll only watch once.
Post # 14
Glad Im not in the minority. And glad no one called me out for wanting a gift 🙂 Its just nice to have something bought for you by the person you love!!
Post # 15
@LilacViolet: YES I think this describes me pretty well. Im always picking up things for him that he will like, or even doing things like getting us groupons for date nights. I guess I show my feelins thru things.
Post # 16
We are the type of people who enjoy giving & receiving “event or experience gifts” – in fact, I can’t even remeber the last physical gift we gave each other!
Most of our gifts are trips, tickets to concerts, comedy shows, or sporting events.
My favorite gift was was for our anniversary and I suprised him with going skydiving!! I don’t mind not receiving a tangible gift, because I feel that the experience gifts are more fun and memorable.