(Closed) anyone ever dealt with wedding envy?

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is it more like a regret than jealousy? For example, when I was out last night there was a bachelorette party and I caught the J-bug. But I think it was more “ooo i’m so jealous i don’t get to do that again!” and I already had my turn. BUT, that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to relive the experiences again. It’s such a fun and beautiful experience, and you really only get one shot (if you’re lucky that is, haha). For me, I just want to relive =]. I’m in 2 weddings next month and I know I’ll be watching the brides going “oh i wish that was me again!” b/c it was so magical. but yes, there’s a teensy bit of jealousy involved I’d say. Just as, I’m sure, she was jealous during yours! Hope that helps. I think it’s a bit norm especially when you’re still a newlywed. i get photographer jealousy, though. “i wish I wish I wish”. Sigh

Post # 4
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is it possible that you are just seeing it from a different prespective as a laid back guest instead of a stressed out bride?  Maybe your rehearsal was that fun but you didn’t notice because you were so stressed.  Try to think about the positive and unique aspects of your wedding and remember that at least you don’t have a stack of thank you cards to be written when you get home from this wedding!!

I’m getting married in 15 days and one of my biggest fears is that I’ll somehow emotionally miss my own wedding, that I’ll be too busy and stressed to have fun and that before I know it, everyone will be leaving and it will be over. 

Post # 5
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Daisy Bride, I had that exact same fear. Sadly, in some ways, it was what happened. My advice to you is take 20 minutes by yourself at some point (which I didn’t do) during the day and just take in the moment.

As for regrets, mine are family and venue related. The family thing is something I was really mad at the time about. I had two cousins as my BMs and they were not present for pretty much anything. They were very much just ‘there’. They only helped with a couple of things and their mom was supposed to be my DOC and then she just didn’t do anything. They were late on the day of (didn’t want to get their hair/makeup done with me) by an hour and a half. The mom sat in the corner and pouted the whole time (still don’t know what that was about). My inlaws were late to the ceremony and were rude during speeches. It really upset me! As for the venue, the coordinator was terrible, seating everyone before dinner was ready, and then asking me all kinds of questions. She was a pain.

However, the pictures of the day are amazing. My photographers were amazing and they made everything much better! 🙂

I hope you have a great day. Remember at the end of the day, you’re married!

Post # 6
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am feeling it already and I haven’t even got married yet.  I am in my friends wedding (and she is in mine).  She is getting married two weeks after me, and even though I love the things I have chosen, when I got her invitations in the mail or was at her bridal shower, there was a definate feeling of “ooh, I wish I had done that” or “why doesn’t my mom do that…” etc.

Its hard, because there are so many beautiful ways to do a wedding but in the end you only get to pick one way for each thing, so its natural to admire others as well.

Post # 7
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I have, at least a little. 

Sometimes when I see other, bigger, weddings and some of the “traditions” that we skipped, I kind of feel like I missed my chance to do that. I didn’t wear a long dress, have a grand entrance, toss a bouquet, have bridesmaids, cut the cake, and probably a dozen other things that people do.

Instead, I did what I wanted most. I knew what DH and I wanted from our wedding and it was a wonderful time. It was small, not really traditional, and we kept it simple.

I think for me it’s more that I have so many ideas of what a wonderful wedding could be. I’d love to have a fancy evening wedding in the wintertime. I’d love to have a big church wedding in my hometown and a reception in my grandma’s backyard. I’d love to elope. But I did only have one chance to do things my way and I could only choose certain things.

When I do feel a tinge of envy, I try to be happy that the bride had something completely different (how often we complain of copycats!) and that mine was also special for my guests. I’m not so jealous as I am just wishing I had the time and money to do it again and do it completely differently.

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