(Closed) Anyone experiancing bridesmaid drama?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’ve been around the bridesmaid block a couple of times, and almost every wedding has drama. It’s unfortunate, but it’s a combination of stress and a bunch of personalities all pushed together. Some people make it more difficult, some BMs will try and make it easier. My rule is, if it’s not essential for the bride to know, then work it out between the BMs.

But, as a bride, you have to remember, just because they love you and are friends with you, does not mean these girls will automatically become besties.

Keep in mind though, any “annoyances” that you might have had before about certain girls, might be amplified ie: that flakey friend is not going to change and all of a sudden stop being flakey. Or that friend that’s sort of selfish, yes, she IS that selfish. So, in the words of an India Jones movie, “Choose wisely.”

Post # 3
597 posts
Busy bee

MangoSong Said it perfectly! Almost every wedding there is going to be some sort of drama just due to the simple fact that everyone is different. But you can also be lucky where everything works out. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friends wedding with 4 other bridesmaids and we all got along amazingly and actually became some of my best friends. We all still keep in touch and hang out whenever we can. For my own wedding I was not as lucky, I had one bridesmaid who basically stirred the pot the whole time and drove all of us CRAZY. Like the PP had said, all of the annoyances that she had before the wedding, had escalted by 100. We had been the best of friends for close to 7 years so I felt I had to include her as one of my maids, plus I know she would’ve made my life hell if I had told her otherwise. My wedding happened almost a two months ago and I have only spoken to her once since then. Sad but sometimes you really find out people’s true colors when you need them the most.

Post # 4
8 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yes!!! I have one bridesmaid that makes up lies and excuses as to why she can’t do her duty. For example, I asked her to go dress shopping with me and she said she didn’t have a babysitter and her son was sick. Later that night she was tagged in a pic on Facebook, she was at a party then her mom posted a pic of her evening with her grandson. LOL.

Also, almost all of them have complained or tried to debate with me about their attire. I pray that none of them think they’re changing clothes after the ceremony.

Post # 5
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Same as @thisheartonfire, my only problem has been with attire!

For the most part, my BMs have been awesome so far – I’ve had more offers for help than I know what to do with! But for some reason, they’ve all been overly vocal about what they’re wearing.

I’m paying for the dresses, and stipulated the fabric and length, but let them pick whatever style they like (A-line, pencil, strapless, short sleeves etc). I’m having their dresses tailored. One in particular has been insistent that she’s not wearing that fabric or that length (knee-length, delustered satin). It’s driving me crazy! 

But other than that, I’ve been very lucky. I actually feel bad that I don’t have more jobs for everyone to get involved 

Post # 6
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I’ve been a bridesmaid five times now (Jesus I feel old when I type that) and every single time, the “drama” is a result of unrealistic expectations on someone’s part. In my cousin’s wedding, she wanted to have this grand three-day forced-long-weekend trip to an exclusive all-inclusive beach resort for her bachelorette. Two bridesmaids couldn’t do it, the Maid/Matron of Honor tried to shame them into it through passive-aggressive mass e-mails, and now DRAMA! No one gets along and everyone feels like someone else is being unfair. Same bride wanted everyone to shell out $250+ for a truly awful dress, and again, one of the bridesmaids couldn’t afford it although the bride was convinced that if she just saved for long enough it wouldn’t be an issue. DRAMA! Bridesmaid got dropped from the party, new bridesmaid appointed to take her place.  Another wedding had a hypoglyemic bridesmaid who left the post-ceremony photography session after about 15 minutes to sit down and eat something because she felt like she was going to faint. DRAMA! The bride felt like this woman (groom’s sister) “wasn’t supporting her” or being a team player by posing for another 90 minutes of pictures on an empty stomach. At another wedding I attended (but wasn’t in), the Maid/Matron of Honor told all the other bridesmaids they should only drink the champagne for the toast and a glass of wine with dinner – BMs should be “sober, classy hostesses” there to entertain the guests all evening and introduce people, not dancing/partying. (Apparently they’re not bridesmaids they’re bridesGeisha?) The BMs immediately disregarded this, took advantage of the open bar, got tipsy, and had a great time. They spent all night trying to hide from the Maid/Matron of Honor, but eventually, DRAMA! How dare they do normal wedding stuff!


There are people who don’t get along in any group of people, but as long as you’re a) reasonable in all of your requests, b) don’t ask your bridesmaids to be slaves, and c) be understanding it anyone can’t accommodate something, you should mostly be able to avoid the worst of it. You’re having them in your wedding because you love them, not because you need minions or or bodies to fill out the pictures.

Post # 7
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MangoSong:  I agree 100% about annoyances…

I tried to pick the bridesmaids I wanted very carefull yto avoid this kind of thing. I even skipped over my sister because she has several habits I know I couldnt deal with in my wedding party.. that’s life I guess

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