(Closed) Anyone feel bad for not having a tiny budget?

posted 11 years ago in Money
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  • Post # 17
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @myra – I think that’s the exact sentiment I was trying to express: many brides don’t realize that a $30,000 bride can be stretching every dollar, DIY-ing, etc. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Does anyone watch The Real Housewives of OC?

    I will shamefully admit that I do. And this post reminds me of Lynn saying “It’s so hard to live in Orange County!!!!”

    But seriously, I think you guys might be reading in to this a little too much. The economic climate we are living in now has inspired bloggers and writers to show their readers ways to have an amazing wedding on a really tight budget. A lot of people out there don’t have jobs, or have had their wages frozen, etc… and a lot of these people feel like they are having “less” of a wedding than those who are able to spend more. Writers are telling people that hey — it’s okay if you have a $5k budget, your wedding can still be just as amazing as someone with a $20k budget, so don’t feel like less of a bride because of the dept of your wallet! What is wrong with that?

    The average cost of a wedding was still $27,000 this year, even after falling the last few years due to the economic woes, so you shouldn’t be feeling “guilty” when clearly the rest of the country is doing the same thing.

    Post # 19
    Member
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I don’t want anyone to feel bad for the cost of their wedding.  Anyone who tries to make someone feel bad over how much they can or can’t afford can go kick rocks!  Just because I wish I could have that dream wedding, doesn’t mean that someone else shouldn’t.  We have just chosen a lower budget wedding because we want to use our money for something else.   I hope you don’t think that I think any less of you because you are getting the wedding of your dreams.

    Post # 20
    Member
    2206 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t feel bad about it, but I am actually in the boat that is cheering for the budget Bees. My wedding will be about $27,000 for everything for around 150 people. I still have to do some budget things (DIY invites, making favors, we’re cooking the food for the welcome event and day after brunch, DIY most of the decorations, etc.), but many of the things that have made my budget go up are conveniences for me. I hired a planner. I broke down and hired a DJ instead of going the iPod, friendor route. I hired the expensive photographer instead of the friend I would have to coach the heck out of. And so on.

    Basically, I made choices that took the stress of the day off of my shoulders. So I don’t mind giving credit to those people who decided to do it all themselves. Money is making the planning easier, in my situation. And I love the idea of a super creative wedding on the cheap. I just didn’t want to do all of that work!

    I think the comment in the blog about $5000 weddings being better than $20000 weddings relates to the fact that many couples who have the cash go the safe, package route. I’ve been to those weddings, and they are fun. But if “better” means different and more creative (which it does in the blog world), they aren’t winners. Some people want the traditional hotel ballroom wedding, and there isn’t a thing in the world wrong with that, but it isn’t creative. But in the real world, creativity is not the only judge of a successful event.

    Post # 22
    Member
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Very well said @monitajb  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 23
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I just wish there wasn’t that attitude as if brides who have a larger budget don’t add touches themselves. I am all for budget brides! I consider myself one, just because my wedding would have been about $60,000 without all the things I’m DIY-ing, etc. I’m making my own wedding cake, for goodness sakes. It’s just too bad that there’s a stereotype out there that’s so enforced of a certain number being the dividing line between “creative” and “pre-packaged.” 

    I think some of the smaller budget weddings are most creative and as gorgeous as any other, but that budget is relative to number of guests attending and region. Does that make sense? 

    Post # 24
    Member
    2206 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Another thought: it is just silly to say you can have the SAME wedding for $2000 that another couple has for $20000. If that were true, most of us would go for the $2000 one. My time is important. but an $18000 difference would make me DIY the heck out of it.

    But you can have a wedding that is just as much fun and loving and celebratory for $2000. It will just be different. And it will be different in a way that not all couples want. I truly think champagne and cake and a great afterparty would not impede the joy of my marriage, but it isn’t the event I want.

    Post # 26
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @monita – that’s a good point. Who wouldn’t take the $18,000? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Post # 27
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    So coming from someone who I guess is spending alot (I am close to $60K), I don’t feel that spending more will get a better wedding – I am having a normal wedding in New York City – its really because of where I live that the price is so high – I’m sure I an spend $4k on something like a photographer and someone else can spend $2K and the person with the $2K photography budget could have better pictures – unfortunately my costs are just because of where I am….yes, I could totally DIY some more stuff…I am already doing my own invites…but flowers or something…but unfortunately in the city with no car, it definitely limits where I can look for things.  Fortunately I have a good job and afford this, but I think that budget doesn’t matter – you can have a gorgeous wedding at $10K and one at a higher budget…sure, i wish i could spend less, but I’m picky so I’m probably spending a little more than I should.

    Post # 28
    Member
    2206 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @ GirlWithARing

    That is why I used the pronoun I so often. I was talking about me. And why I have the attitude that I do.

    It is also why I didn’t use the pronoun you. I wasn’t talking about you, I don’t know what you are doing. My post was not meant as a sly attack on your wedding that I don’t know anything about.

    Post # 30
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    As a bride with a “tiny budget”, this was hard for me to read. Money is such a sensitive subject.

    Please don’t think I’m saying that there is anything at all wrong with having a larger budget. It’s all about the choices we make and the means we have available. However, we need to look at things from each others perspectives. I always hesitate before posting things about saving money or my budget. I feel like I will be judged for having a “cheap” wedding. I also resent the idea that a bride with a strict budget is not a hard worker and therefore does not have the money to spend on a nicer wedding.

    I am sorry you feel judged for having a larger budget. I think budget brides rely on all these tips for saving money, and that might be why you see so many posts about it. We’re all looking for advice and help ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    Post # 31
    Member
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Sorry for being “bitchy and uncalled for”, that’s not what I was trying to be. The situation reminded me of something, which I heard and thought was funny, so I shared. I wasn’t trying to offend you, which is why I told you the numbers for the average wedding, so you wouldn’t feel bad because with the average being so high, there are obviously a lot of brides spending money. Honestly you are creating your own guilt trip because from what I have seen, no one else is laying it on you.

    My point is that it seemed a little silly to complain that people who aren’t aren’t as fortunate to be able to spend a large sum of money are being told that they can have a wedding that is comparable to one with a big budget. No one is judging your budget or how you are spending your money, only trying to let the minority know that it is perfectly acceptable and OK to have a wedding on a small budget. I’m pretty sure every girl wishes they had the financial luxury of spending whatever they wanted on their wedding with no consequences, and most of us would if given the chance, I know I would!

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