(Closed) Anyone feel bad for not having a tiny budget?

posted 10 years ago in Money
  • poll: Mr. Bee asks: there have been requests to close this thread. Should it be closed?

    Yes, please close it.

    No, leave it open.

    Other (I'll explain below)

  • Post # 62
    Member
    222 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Ths is an interesting post, so interesting, that by the time I got to the bottom, I had to go up and re-read the original post. ๐Ÿ™‚

    The most important thing for us is that we don’t start a marriage in debt.  So, I completely agree w/jrswiggy (and others) above that you shouldn’t have to take out loans to pay for your wedding.  And you should be proud of the wedding you throw regardless of the budget!!!  WE ARE GETTING MARRIED, GIRLS (and guys!) ๐Ÿ™‚

    As for a big budget bride feeling guilty for spending too much money?  No, because we are spending within our means and our budget.  I’ve seen posts on here about too much money for a designer engagement ring, dress, shoes, etc…and those comments about brides spending too much money makes me personally so uncomfortable (I feel like I might get judged) that I never can say what my budget is for venue, photography, videography etc. b/c I feel like people will think we have money and judge us.  That might be why some girls in my position may not comment on the money part of how much we spend…

    The one thing I can say is that sometimes things don’t appear as seems.  For instance, I’m wearing designer wedding shoes, but what people don’t know is that I got them for a great deal.  Or for vendors, I’ve been able to negotiate amazing deals.  So, while it may seem like a big budget wedding, it is within our budget.

    And the other thing I’ve noticed on WB is that prices do differ significantly depending on where you live.  We happen to live in an area where things are more pricey, I wish it were different, but it is what is it.

     

     

     

    Post # 63
    Member
    2057 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    What I feel bad about is the lack of craft I have. I read post after post, blog after blog, thread after thread and I am so disgustingly jealous of the girls that post how much they have saved because of whatever project they’re working on. Or how much they have saved because they spent x amount of time going to garage sales or bargain shopping is fun for them.  I am embarrassed that as a 30 yr old adult I don’t have an ounce of patience for craft projects. I want to get from A to Z without having to learn the 24 steps in between.

    I am an instant gratification gal. When I picture something or have a vision I want to see it come to fruition. If it doesn’t come to fruition I melt – I hold so many expectations and when they aren’t met I melt. Period! Plain and simple, I have a breakdown.  I have a creative mind and then I verbally share my vision – when its complete I through myself and inside emotional party. 

    I am a hire out gal. I make use of my resources in that way. I will find the best deal for the best designer or the best company to complete the project. And I will negotiate every single step of the way. That’s where my patience is – I’m in sales after all!

    I wanted to be a Bee desperately – what was I going to blog about?  My secret wholesale insider vendors that cut all of my costs until I have exhausted every last avenue of options?

    Bees – It isn’t my budget I feel bad about its how I have my priorities lined up. 

    EDIT:  Am I thankful for our generous budget from my parents? Yes – – That does not mean I don’t want to save them money or find a good deal. I just have a different way of finding one, heeheehee

    Post # 64
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Great point, @mspuppyjacks – I plan on wearing designer shoes, but people don’t usually realize they’re from Ebay. (Although I’m not ashamed to tell them!) 

    Post # 65
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @jackie-o – I’d read Bee posts like that! My DIY skills are limited… if flowers or folding are involved, I’m out… I had to get way creative with the DIY; I’m doing a lot of projects that aren’t traditionally DIY (cake, etc) so that I can pay for invites and not feel so bad that I don’t have the talent to make them myself. I am attempting my Save-The-Date Cards and some other paper goods… but that may end in disaster… ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

    Post # 66
    Member
    2057 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @lilyfaith – – lol, thank you. I am more than happy to share verbal negotiation skills and or vendor information any time. Its all about using our resources and believe it or not we have way more than we’re aware of Laughing

    Post # 67
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Sigh – removed post because it’s probably a not very popular idea and way off track.

    Post # 68
    Member
    222 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @lilyfaith- I love a good bargain, especially designer shoes!  You might want to also stalk the barney’s website or NM, they have great deals end of season!  Or the Nordy’s Anniversary Sale!  Or Nordstrom Rack or Off Sakes Fifth!  I’ve seen great designer shoes there for a fraction of the price ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 69
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @ms.puppyjacks – ohhh, I do, but they tend to hate my feet (size 5.5) and rarely have my size in stock regardless. 

    Post # 70
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @sarah – I understand what you were trying to say. We get loans for what is important to us – it is not healthy in a lot of relationships, but everyone has to decide for themselves. I’ve had people tell me getting loans for grad school is not worth it because I already have undergrad loans – but that’s only their opinion! It’s a really personal thing, and I don’t see how it’s so different from the people who wrack up insane charges on their credit cards. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Sarah — Don’t be afraid to share your opinion. I read your post before you removed it, and it’s not bad or accusatory or rude or anything! Mine is probably “worse,” and as I hope GirlWithARing understands, it’s more about feeling judged and perhaps defensive than it is about attacking another person’s idea. Yours doesn’t do that at all. I hope you reconsider posting it.

    Also, I think jackie-o raises a good point that relates to the over-representation of DIY in the wedding blogosphere: there is just more to talk about. It’s not that no one “roots” for big budget brides or even a judgment against them. I know I love seeing the wedding recaps, but to track the planning through contract signings doesn’t seem like much fun. I still love seeing about decisions and choices and emotions and problems regardless of the budget — those are universal to any bride! I do think it is sad when comments such as “5k wedding is better than 20k wedding.” Again, I think there shouldn’t be a right or wrong way to do a wedding.

    Post # 72
    Member
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    Well, I’m totally on the low budget side of things, but I 100% understand what you’re saying. It actually really upsets me when I see people saying “I can’t believe anyone would spend that much on a dress” or making condescending remarks about how brides can only afford certain budgets because “mommy and daddy” are paying. I feel like this is such a ridiculous and unfair attitude to have – we’re all in the same position here, regardless of budget. We’re all planning a wedding, and I assume we are all trying to make it as personal as possible. Who cares who’s paying for it or how much is being spent? 

    Sure, there are times when I see someone’s $5,000 dress and I drool over it a little and wish that I had been able to get my dress from Pnina Tornai instead of David’s Bridal, but that doesn’t mean that I would ever judge those who are able to purchase that dress. I think it’s awesome and I’m happy for those that have the means to do it.

    I feel like so often people assume that budget determines everything. You can’t assume that a small-budget bride is going to have terrible shoes, a run-down venue and no extras. In that same sentiment, it’s completely unfair to assume that a bride with a high budget is going to outsource everything, have letter-pressed invitations with a hired calligrapher, and a custom-made dress. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those things – I’m a huge proponent of all three! Smile) I know plenty of brides with big budgets that are still taking on tons of diy projects and making their weddings extremely personal and unique.

    So, basically, all that babbling was to say that I really feel like we should ALL support one another, regardless of silly things like budgets. We’re all in the same boat here and I’m assuming that we all came to weddingbee to find a community of people that we can talk to and get advice from while we’re planning wedding. I feel like this is the last place we should be judging one another, especially over something like money! 

    EDIT: 

    ALSO! Just wanted to add one more thing that kind of bugs me – who says that weddings with no DIY projects are somehow “less” than those with tons of DIY projects? Just because a bride doesn’t take on a ton of crafts that does not mean that her wedding isn’t as good as one where everything is homemade. Just sayin’.

    Post # 73
    Member
    2057 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I am not really an Amen kind of gal – – SHOUT OUT TO amanda.lynn – – – AMEN

    Post # 74
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    you said it! (and I almost did the exact same thing)

    Post # 75
    Member
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @amandalynn I totally agree with everything you said! I personally am a bigger budget bride, but that doesnt mean I can get everything I want. We picked which things were most important to us and tried to budget with the others. Also I think its great when people DIY and im doing some myself, but personally I just dont have time to do a ton of it. I have a full time job and am also finishing my masters program and writing a thesis due in may. I wish I had more time to do it and I enjoy seeing it on all the blogs. I do feel really scared to discuss budget or the price of my dress or anything on here. I dont like feeling like im judged. Personally thats the way I am anyways I dont like to discuss things I have , I often feel it may come off as bragging so I just dont. I agree that everyone should be respectful of everyones budgets.Varity is what makes everyone so interesting and different =)

     

    Post # 76
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Really – why are we critical of other people’s choices? If someone is doing something that doesn’t hurt me or anyone else, why the he!! is it any of my business?? Just sayin’!!

    I’m a small budget bride because I looked at my wedding, I looked at my student loans, I looked at the cost of nice houses in our area rather than renting forever, I looked at our kinda-high monthly rent because we do choose to have a nice apartment….and I realized that a lot of the extras I could add on to our wedding just weren’t worth it. That has a lot to do with my personality, wants, needs, and values. They’re not yours. That doesn’t say anything good or bad about me or any of us.

    So we have roughly a $10k budget and we’re spending half of it on the honeymoon. We’ve wanted to go on a cruise forever and we’re going on a super-nice one. Again….because we’re us. We’re thrilled with our choices and our simple, intimate, informal wedding will be absolutely perfect for us. And if you want to have a formal blowout at the Ritz Carlton or if you stay at the Motel 6 for your honeymoon and it’s what you want…..then enjoy the crap out of it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    The topic ‘Anyone feel bad for not having a tiny budget?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors