(Closed) Anyone feel like your moh is raining on your parade a little bit?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@papercrayons:  I hear you!  the last week alone she has told me that because we are not having spirits available at the bar (extensive beer and wine lists though) she will sneak a hip flask of Jack Daniels in, She is having her front tooth pulled 3 days before wedding cos she cracked it years ago,  why aren’t we hiring a limo for transport (though we did also hire her and her family a car for the whole weekend they are in town).  And now she doesnt like the seating plan….. 

I hope she pulls her head in on the day!

Post # 5
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

I had ONE bridesmaid like this – the rest were all supportive and helpful. Suffice it to say that after a few clashes, that bridesmaid & I are no longer friends, and she’s not in the wedding. Not thinking that will happen to you – but definitely have been there!

Post # 6
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

One of my MOH’s is like this.  I’ve just learned to limit the things I ask her opinion for.  She’s very frugal and thinks that I’m wasting money on things “I don’t need”.  What I really want to tell her is…”When you get married, then you worry about what’s wasteful and what’s not!!”  OAN: she’s working her butt off planning an AWESOME bachelorette party for me, so I gotta love her…smile.

Post # 7
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

That’s totally annoying. If I were you, I’d stop telling her your wedding plans. Then she won’t have the opportunity to complain about your choices.

Post # 8
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m not sure if it sounds like she’s being mean…sounds like she’s just giving her honest opinion. 

Post # 9
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah I would just stop showing her things.  It’s not her wedding so she doesn’t need to see every detail 🙂

Post # 10
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I just let it roll off my back.  Like we asked my FI’s niece the other day to be a flowergirl.  She said “You better take her to other weddings so she knows what’s going on, but no, that may confuse her since it won’t be in a church.”  I didn’t hear it but my Fiance did.  She controlled everything in her daughter’s wedding and expects to do the same for her son, including saying we need to get married in a church.  It is OUR day not HER day so we are doing what is right for us.

Stop telling her your plans.  If she makes a snarky comment fight back with kindness. “I think its cheap looking.”  “Well actually the lace is handmade vintage and I find it rather dashing.”  Counter every negative with a positive and she won’t be getting the effect she wants i.e. you upset, and hopefully it will stop.

Post # 11
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Aww that sucks.

I had one friend acting this way, and since then I have just stopped either bringing up wedding plans or commenting when she needles me for details because I am getting tired of the negativity.

My MOA (Maid of Awesome [rather than honour haha]) has been nothing but supportive and enthusiastic, which is one of the [thousands of] reasons why she is awesome.

 

I would just stop mentioning the minute details to her if she can’t be anything but negative.

Post # 12
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

At first she absolutely was. I think it had to do with her being jealous of my fiance though, she and I have been best friends since we were 2 years old and have that weird ESP share a brain thing that twins do, so I think she was scared of losing me. Also, making sure I was 100% on this decision. She would comment about money “how much are you spending- oh, thats a respectable amount” and some of my choices “thats not the dress I imagined you choosing” stuff like that. Now she is the best maid of honour, taking off work for appointments, telling me how beautiful things are, coming up with fantasic ideas,etc 🙂

Post # 13
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You should really tell her that her comments bug you. She may think that she is helping by “playing devil’s advocate” or throwing out a different opinion. If she’s your friend you should be able to say “I know your trying to help but some of your comments really hurt me and stress me out”. You will feel better after you talk it out.

Without sounding like a bridzilla- family and friends have to realize we don’t want opinions on everything we tell a person about.

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