(Closed) Anyone feel that their FML is competing with you? Just venting.

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Girl, I feel you, but I’m lucky because mine lives in Nevada and we live in the Carolinas. 🙂

What I have learned is that it’s always best to be honest with your FH about how his mom makes you feel, although don’t vent about EVERYTHING she does. With that said, if she says something that puts you on the spot or makes you uncomfortable, tell him how you feel once you go home and ask him to back you up the next time she does something like that. For instance, my sister’s Mother-In-Law is always trying to commit them to babysit for his brother’s kids or attend family events, so she and her husband have a rule that they talk about all engagements in private before making a decision. 

Good luck! Remember that everyone has crazy Mother-In-Law stories, so you are not alone! Maybe you could plan a weekly girls’ night with your friends on the night she comes over… haha just kidding. 😛

Post # 5
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m glad you guys talked and he could see where you are coming from! Wow, my family is the exact same way with my fiance. They are always talking about how great he is, and they never put him on the spot or ask him any awkward questions. My future Mother-In-Law is the total opposite of that with me! At least you are marrying him, not her; always remember that! 😉 haha 

Post # 6
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Dealing with FIL’s is quite an adventure!  Mine annoy me a bit, but they are nice enough people.  But it’s such a strange dynamic! 

Post # 7
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, there’s always an adjustment and I think there always will be an adjustment.  For us, my Mother-In-Law was used to making plans and having her son follow through with few questions asked.  The thing is, she doesn’t tell me the plans!  I have relatives nearby so I’ll go visit them or we’ll plan a little date for the two of us (and yes we ask before we go visit her if there’s any plans).  She just doesn’t decide until the last minute and then I’ve ruined everything.  She overall is very nice but only has sons and I don’t think she’s being competitive but just isn’t used to having another girl there who makes plans.  Yeah, in my case she just isn’t used to having a daughter who has her own ideas, she’s been used to going into her sons houses, decorating them how she pleases and reorganizing them.  They’ve been fine with that but now we’re married we’re slowly chipping away at her coming in and doing those things (gently, ever so gently) but I can’t find anything after she leaves!  But her older son’s live in gf is even more particular than I am so in a way it’s good because I give her more room than the other sons gf does. 

Post # 8
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

All the time, lol.

 

She constantly goes and touches my Fiance when im there.. even if im doing it.. patting him, hugging him..

 

It’s annoying, but I try not to let it bother me. 

Post # 9
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

I’m totally in the exact same boat as you. It’s really frustrating that my SO doesn’t see it like I do. Actaully he’s starting to see it, and it’s really freaking him out. He’s deployed to Iraq right now which seems to bring this out a whole lot more in her. I just hope once he’s home and the wedding is over that everything calms down and we can have a normal family life. But hey, what is normal right?

you’re not alone!!

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