(Closed) Anyone Feel Trapped?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Alrthough have invested money and precous resources, I think mental sanity and the status of your relatioship with your Fiance not your family is priority. Its never to late to elope.

 If your family are a group of adults they should be able to go over it. If they can’t respect your wishes in this Im not sure how they have been to you in the past or in your future. You can have a big part afterwords with sister and family all included. Just don’t do something to please other people. Do whats right for you  both, not matter what the cost.

Post # 4
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Talk about stress!! I’m so sorry your wedding planning has been horrific, instead of the great experience it should be. Have you tried sitting those who are frustrating you and talking to them? If not, it might help to let them know who you feel.

If family is what I think it is, then come the day of the wedding you will be in the spotlight and everyone will want only happiness for you. Good luck and try to relax… You’re marrying your best friend and will soon be starting a family of your own!

Post # 6
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Avyon:  Ouch Honey… Well i think it’s time you get drastic, and pardon my words, grab the bull by its balls and take your wedding back! Sometimes it takes a thought of “Oh, Fu$k it!” to enjoy yourself. And as bad as it seems, it looks like your sister may get a kick out of seeing you bothered by all her actions. Don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she can ruin what is supposed to be the best day of your life.

So pull your chin up, smile, and think… I am the bride and this is MY wedding!

Post # 7
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is your wedding and you are in total control.

So your sister wants to be involved. Let her…with a little limitation.

I would play devil’s advocate. Give her the responsibility of handling details that aren’t quite the priority to you.

The hardest thing is not asking for an opinion, but it is the most valuable (and sanity saving) thing you could do for yourself.  Don’t place a wedge between you and your family.  Everyone has wedding DRAMA and family members they wish they could just cut out altogether, but no worries…this is YOUR DAY!!!

I hope this helps 🙂

 

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

So… your sister has taken over this wedding as she’ll never have one of her own so this is her only chance…

She has chosen to stay with a man who won’t marry her. This is (hopefully) YOUR only chance to “take over a wedding”.. it’s YOUR wedding….

 

Put your foot down. This is NOT ok!!

Post # 10
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Avyon:  my first question is, “What do you want?”

I hear all this about these other people, but what do YOU and your beloved want?

Post # 11
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Avyon:  okay, first of all, it’s not your bachelorette party if you do not attend, so screw that. She just said that because she thinks you are weak and will go if she says that.

You need to assert yourself, honey. I read you said something about this is your sister’s only chance to plan something like this.

 

Well, it’s YOUR only chance to plan something like this, too!!!

Think about yourself for a minute, and always remember, nothing can happen without the bride and groom, no matter how many “plans” your sister wants to make. You have to tell her “No,” and take the drama from the family. I think that’s better than giving in to stuff you don’t want to do, because you seem to be upset either way. So I’d at least be upset and doing what I want to do, versus being upset and doing what someone else wants me to do. Know what I am saying?

Post # 12
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Also, you might have to put your sister in check in front of people, if she starts taking over. It might be embarrassing to her, but shouldn’t be to you, because she needs to know her place.

She can get mad and cause drama all she wants. Everyone knows she’s a drama queen, that’s obvious. But when you look back on this wedding day, you had BETTER not do so only thinking of how she displaced you as the bride. That’s crazy.

And lastly, Point her out to your photographer and make absolutely sure he understands to minimize her presence in your pictures.

If she’s a bride’s maid, first thing I’d do is tell her that she’ll lose that job if she can’t be cooperative. Second thing, each time she acts crazy, just threaten to elope and there will be no wedding at all. I’m sure this is her worse nightmare. Make sure she understands you will get married with or without her, with or without anyone else, and you will do it how you dang well please. Anyone who doesn’t want to come, that’s fine. That’s less to worry about.

Your wedding is only about you and your groom. Anyone who has the nerve to overshadow that day or threaten not to come is selfish and you do not need them. Open the door for them, and they will show you how much they care by coming or not coming. But you got a husband to marry, so forget about your sister. She ain’t marrying him.

And DO NOT let your sister stand in for you at the rehearsal dinner, either. You better not do that. Lastly, make sure your photographer knows to minimize her presence in your pictures.

Post # 13
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Just a thought… What about eloping with a welcome back party… the receptions are always for the guests anyways…. sure we plan them to perfection with things we like but in the end It is about please who we care most about and going home with our best friend. Don’t let the other women in the picture ruin your day. Follow your heart, It led you to him so it can’t be wrong right?

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