Post # 1
Hey hive… is anyone out there feeling sort of alone in their planning? I think I’ve hit sort of a funk and just sort of need to reach out and get some support. My fiance is wonderful and definitely helpful and I have no issues with him. But my sisters live far away and have families of their own, my maid of honor is married and lives about 30 minutes from me, but she works like 60+ hours a week and really hasn’t put in a ton of effort besides going dress shopping with me.
I know I can’t expect people to want to talk about weddings 24-7, but I am just sort of depressed. Brides are suppose to get together with their bridesmaids and do diy projects and thats just not happening with me. I know its because I live so far away from everyone but its really sad. My good friend just got engaged and his fiance’s friends are throwing them a surprise engagement party on Saturday… I’m so incredibly happy for them but can’t help feel a bit jealous that no one did that for us.
I think I’m sort of being snotty so I apologize. I think I’m just having a hard time right now… One of my friends just moved from Boston to San Fran and I had a falling out with another friend who was being really rude once I got engaged and she wasn’t engaged yet. I think I need to branch out and make some new friends and stop trying to count on my friends from back home.
Is anyone else struggling with feeling alone in the wedding process because you live far away from everyone? Anyone have any suggestions of groups I could join to meet some girls my age (as a 28 year old, that seems hard but I think I need to suck it up and do it!).
Post # 3
Sorry you are feeling down. Your wedding is still a ways off in people’s minds, but I’m sure as the date gets closer, you will see them come around. Have you made plans wih your Maid/Matron of Honor to just hang out, NWR? I think this would help both of you.
As for planning alone, you are never alone when you are on wedding bee. You can always find a ton of us here who never tire of wedding talk! So, post away and let’s see what you’re planning!
Post # 4
My wedding party is also pretty scattered – I’m in Pittsburgh, and the women in my wedding party are in Orlando, DC, Minneapolis, and LA. I try to keep them up-to-date with regular emails, and I’m working on getting some of them to Pittsburgh to do a wedding-shopping-weekend.
As for branching out – meetup.com has proven fairly useful to me when it comes to getting to know new people. And if you’re in Boston, I’m betting there are a lot of groups you could join!
Post # 5
I’m sorry! 🙁
I’ve also felt this way, because I don’t really have a family and most of my friends live in another state. That’s what originally attracted me to WB to begin with – I needed to vent, kvetch, be inspired, share ideas, laugh and feel a sense of bridal community. It definitely helped ease that lonely feeling! I hope it can do the same for you.
Post # 6
Aw… it really sucks that you’re feeling down about this. I think I will have a very similar experience but I’m going into it not expecting much. I don’t have many married friends or any friends that are about to be married… so I don’t really think many people will be too into wedding talk. There are 3 girls I’d ask to be BMs if I have BMs, but two are not local (like, not driving distance) and one just had a horrible breakup so I can’t really ask or expect anything from her on the celebrate-my-wedding front.
I guess I think it is nice when people DO have people around them that are excited to help celebrate and plan… but on the other hand these people also sometimes have a lot of drama bc theres too many cooks in the kitchen so to speak. I’m going to do it mostly alone with the help of my mom… and thats just fine with me. 🙂
Post # 7
i know how you feel. i live in los angeles – my sister (matron of honor) lives in Michigan, and my bridesmaid lives in Colorado – which makes ‘planning’ prettymuch a whole huge email chain. it’s hard to meet people after college age – but there’s ways. Example – There’s the weddingbee!
Post # 8
YES! I know exactly how you feel. We just moved to a new city this summer and 2 of my BMs are still in Texas, my Maid/Matron of Honor is in D.C. and it’s just me and FH here in Kentucky. I know my family and BMs are tired of hearing about wedding stuff long distance (they haven’t said so, but I can sense it) so I feel like I’m doing this all by myself! Fortunately a couple of friends at my seminary have helped me out a little, but we just met in August…so it’s kind of weird. Thus, I am grateful for all my Bees!
Post # 9
Oh i feel your pain! I too feel all alone in the planning and decision process. It makes me depressed sometimes that I don’t really have anyone to talk wedding planning with that’s excited for me. i feel swamped and overwhelmed, like i am slowly being buried alive by wedding planning! i too get jealous of people who have lots of family and friends who throw them lots of parties and rush to help them with planning and DIY projects.
Post # 10
I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m kinda in the same boat. It seems everyone is so busy that they don’t mean to be neglectful but they’re not so involved either. Then there’s the problem that my friends are all kinda single and don’t seem enthused with there situation so I don’t feel comfortable even bringing up my wedding and the plans for it. I have one friend, whose wedding is 4 months after mine (we’re in each other’s wedding) who I can talk freely with because we’re very much in the same boat. My Mother is even too busy to really sit around and talk about this kinda stuff. She’s also not into weddings the way some Mom’s are so she’s not excitable. But, just know that your guests can’t wait to attend and the day itself will be wonderful. And of course, your fiance is just as happy about it as you are so enjoy the process with him :o)
Post # 11
After reading this I feel worse! I’m 3000 miles from my family and friends and Fiance is in Africa with the UN until February. I am just not invested in wedding planning right now – I’m in a bit of a rut re: planning. It’s not fun especially without Fiance but my sister, mom and friends are being great from a distance – it just makes the distance more palpable. It’s even a hassle to try to figure out how to coordinate the bridal shower/bachelorette during the limited time I’ll be home before the wedding. Oh well. It will all be worth it and I’m sure I’ll get a second wind but I know how lots of you girls are feeling. *hugs*
Post # 12
i agree!! I love thinking about the idea of my wedding but i have had a hard time getting the people around me excited so it’s hard to get into it myself. They love me and L-O-V-E the guy I”m marrying but i think it feels too far away for everyone (August 2010). Plus no one wants to step on my toes or be pushy but i kind of wish they would!!! I want pushy. I want ideas thrown in my face. I want help. i want excitement.
The person who is most excited for me is a new friend of mine up in LA who is helping me plan and come up with ideas. I almost feel closest to her right now when it comes to the wedding stuff and we’ve only met a couple of times!
What are some ideas to get people around you more into it without looking needy or silly about the whole thing? I know everyone in my world is excited for us and thinks the wedding will be fun but I still feel like I”m getting no real interest.