(Closed) Anyone feeling like some people just don’t get it??

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I have a feeling that if I tried to plan my wedding in my hometown of Harrisburg, PA, it would be exactly the same.  In fact, on the one entry from Harrisburg that made it onto Style Me Pretty, a good number of the comments were like, “OMG A PRETTY AND STYLISH WEDDING IN HARRISBURG?!?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!?!”  It’s really a dead-end hellhole.

Thank god we’re having our wedding in NYC…and I haven’t run into any of that.

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Eek, well the first thing I heard was an ouch to the “bells and bows” brides out there.  You just called them horribly boring and cookie cutter.  (I’m sure some are on WB.)

Well I understand you’re venting but maybe try to relax a bit.  Maybe when you said “design”, she just needed clarification.  Maybe she’s had a lot of brides come in saying “design” and it’s meant something different to each bride.  Maybe some brides have designed their invitations, as in thought of an idea and need someone else to draw it.  Or have bits and pieces of different invitations they want to incorporate. 

As for the more traditional vendors, not every vendor will fit you.  You’re probably running into some vendors that are better for someone who wants to do things more traditionally.  I’m sure they are getting business with the “bells and bows” or they wouldn’t be doing it anymore. 

If you have a new vision for your wedding, that’s great.  I’m sure you’ll find vendors to help you out.  But I also understand a lot of brides that really have a strong vision, like designing their own invitations, end up DIYing a lot of stuff.  You could look into that.

Post # 5
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with Tanya. Take it down a notch. She was probably just clarifying, but if not then just don’t order from her. Its hard no matter where you are to have vendors understand your vision sometimes.

Post # 6
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

I totally get what you’re saying, but it was kind of harsh–both the OP and veganglam. If I were a “bows and bells bride” from Harrisburg, PA I’d sure be offended.

I think you’ll find that you have to go the nontraditional route, but you’ll find the right vendors. Just keep looking.

Post # 7
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Heh, I didn’t even catch the ‘bells and bows’ thing OP said.  I honestly don’t even know what that means?  I like bells and bows though. 😛

I understand how frustrating it would be to plan a wedding in a place with very, very limited vendor options though, like I said!  A small number of vendors in a dead-end town (like my hometown…and a large number of its residents say the same thing about it) necessarily means that there won’t be much room for creativity.  I think OP was just frustrated.  

 

LaborofLove–can I say that I am friends with three brides from Harrisburg and they all said they were frustrated with lack of options?  They’re planning their weddings there because it’s where their fiancés and family are. I’m not alone.  All of them actually pulled some vendors or services from other cities just because they couldn’t deal with the lack of options at home.  Some places just don’t have many options, and it can make it A LOT harder to plan a wedding.  It doesn’t mean the brides suck, or that their taste sucks, it means that the climate of the entire town sucks due to too many factors to attribute it to any one person.  There’s a reason its population is waning.  Like I said in my last post, a lot of the comments on the SMP entry from Harrisburg were from FRUSTRATED BRIDES who couldn’t believe someone managed to pull off a stylish wedding in their hometown.  This is a consensus sort of thing…

Post # 8
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I also think it’s easy to get caught up in the world of wedding blogs and wedding sites, where every wedding and engagement shoot is styled and arranged and decorated perfectly and whimsically and elegantly. So of course, as brides who are ALL about those blogs and sites, we expect others to be on the same page. But it’s possible that vendors don’t stalk Style me pretty or snippet and ink, and so don’t know what you mean when you say, “I want a rustic chic vintage wedding, and I want it to be unique!” (Not that you said this, but as an example). I think it’s important to bring your own examples of what you want to vendor meetings, and not just expect that they’re going to blurt out fabulous and creative ideas. They might be able to take your examples and turn them into wonderful and unique things, but maybe they need a little more guidance from you on the direction to go in, since it seems like you have definite ideas about what you want/don’t want in your wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I was gonna ask if you were in the midwest.  It seems common here for people to be a bit behind.

Post # 12
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Is Ohio considered the midwest?  I didn’t know.

 

I was going to say the same thing as you Kemi…it seems really surprising that people in design industries wouldn’t follow design trends at all.  Isn’t that part of their livelihood, what makes them a good business?  The wedding industry isn’t an island of unique trends…most of what’s trendy in the wedding world is also trendy in various other aspects of design.

And perhaps I haven’t been to enough weddings in my life but I really didn’t know that ‘bells and bows’ was an old-school traditional wedding cliché?  The only bells and bow designs I’ve seen were really vintage-y, neat things.

Post # 14
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Are you sure you aren’t a native New Yorker?? It’s called fashion for a reason: most people don’t have it yet! Wink There is a whole wide wedding world out there where people do things in a traditional and stock way. And the fact that vendors cater to them and not you is actually the right business decision to make. For them.

Oh, and bows are definitely in right now. Big ones. I promise.

Post # 15
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I hope you do realize the “out of the box” stuff you are looking at on the wedding blogs you mentioned are not actually out of the box. They are currently very trendy and very cookie-cutter. Don’t get me wrong, if that’s what you like, then be firm on making sure you get exactly what you want. But I think wedding vendors know that there really is no such thing as a unique wedding these days when every bride is referencing the same photos in the same blogs… I think there is a transition right now itn the industry (given the state of the economy) to more homey-DIY styles. If you want the DIY feel, well, you should do-it-yourself.

Post # 16
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Haha, I feel your pain!  I once tried to explain to a high-strung flambuoyant florist guy that I didn’t want certain flowers in my bouquet, and he didn’t even listen and cut me off and started talking about how he would put those flowers in.  He then proceded to quote me twice as much as the next florist.  Needless to say I didn’t book with him.  Shopping around really does pay off!

I’m planning a wedding in southern Wisconsin, and I’ve run into lack of trendiness a little but not too much.  Thankfully, being only an hour away from Milwaukee gives me options, as long as I’m willing to pay extra fees for vendors who charge to travel long distances.  My invitations are actually going to be printed by a company in another state and shipped to me, even though I ordered them through a store here in town.

There are a lot of wedding vendors who take orders online and are willing to ship to the 48 states.  I’ve seen everything from stationary to charger plates to photo booths… all willing to deliver.

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