(Closed) Anyone “forcing” themselves to wait before TTC?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Darling Husband is basically forcing us to wait :p If it were up to me, I’d be ready to go for it, but I know he’s right. I just have baby fever and sometimes it takes over logic. We have to wait for me to finish school because it would just be waaaay too hard to juggle school, work, AND a child. Darling Husband has applied to grad school and we’re still waiting to hear about that, which would make BOTH of us in school and working, which would be more than hard, it would be impossible if we throw a baby in the mix. It’ll be our turn eventually, and I know it will be for the best.

Post # 4
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

i had to wait between having my two boys, we had it halfway planned out, i wanted to have a halloween baby. so i had to wait like 9 months before i got pregnant the second time and it sucked! There’s not really a good time to have kids, and your never really going to be “ready”, but while your waiting you can at least start prenatal vitamins a few months before trying and get your ass in shape, cause pregnancy will kick your butt, lol.

Post # 5
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Before getting married, my husband and I had agreed to wait two years before TTC.  Right after the wedding I had baby fever, but he reminded me that we needed to wait and I’m glad he did because the feeling passed after a few months.  Now that we’ve been married a year and a half we’re thinking of starting to try soon – so we’ll have waited almost 2 years.

Post # 6
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, we’ll have to force ourselves to wait.  First and foremost, we’re getting married young (22 each, we’ll be 23 soon after the wedding) so we want to age up a bit.  We also have a lot of student loan debt and Fiance might need an extra semester of college (~$40,000 between the two of us).  We want to him to have a good job, pay back our loans, have two semi-decent cars paid or nearly paid, and reliable health insurance, so when I become pregnant I can stay home and not feel hard pressed for money.  So a lot of things have to happen, but we won’t be upset either if it happens before then.  Good luck with your waiting!

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i had to force myself to wait…. one month. i was on a lot of meds that i had to get off of, and it took awhile. there’s no way i can wait any longer than that!

Post # 8
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am making Fiance wait!  We are only waiting about 3 months after the wedding to stop birth control and to start TTC.  We already own a home, paid off most debt, and are totally ready.  I just want a few months of nothing else to worry about or plan for right after the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I admit, I totally had baby fever and thought I’d never be able to wait 3 -5 years to have kids. That was until we had an oops and I was terrified I might be pregnant. We’re totally not ready and I’m only 25 – I still need to get some fun, childfree things out of the way first.

Post # 10
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

ME!! I have the itch soo bad but we are forcing ourselves to wait to TTC until at least Feb of next year when I’ll find out if I matched for internship.. If I do then we’ll have to wait even longer!! It is sooo hard especially because Darling Husband just keeps saying “Whenever you want, whenever you want, I’m ready.” Ahhh!! It feels so much like waiting to get engaged did!

Post # 11
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

We are ready, now we are just waiting for my health insurance to kick in at my new job.  Some days it is about all that I can think about- earlier this week I got to hold a 10 week old baby… that was a killer! 

Post # 12
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

@monalisa- I agree! in some ways waiting for to TTC is like waiting to be engaged, but for me, it’s sooo much harder!! The baby fever runs deep all the way through my bones and I simply can’t shake it. It’s just this drive and I feel like being a mother is what I was born to do! At least with waiting for an engagement I didn’t run through my mind constantly (working with kids probably doesn’t help me), but it’s also not something that Darling Husband can actually surprise me with. No taking me out to dinner and getting down on one knee and presenting me with a baby :p Sometimes I wish he could understand how I feel because it’s truly just an overwhelming primal/instinctual thing. As I said, I feel like I was just born to be a mother so it’s really hard to fight it.

Post # 13
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I already have baby fever and we’re not even married! : D I plan on working it out by getting a job in labour & delivery or postpartum as a nurse when I graduate. We’re planning on waiting a couple years — but we want to have at least our first child (planning on having an only child, but we’ll see) by the time we’re 25, so since we’ll be getting married when I’m almost 23…we’ll have probably at least a year before we start trying to conceive.

Post # 14
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@JoesWifey– Me too!! i’ve been emotionally ready for a baby for longer than i was ready to be married, i swear to god! i’ve wanted a baby since i was like 10. i totally agree on it being a primal/instinctual thing and now that we’re just ALMOST there, i just can NOT shake it! I feel like it would be better if Darling Husband wasn’t ready, but he is, and we’re just waiting because its the “right thing” to do- financially, and for my career, etc. But seriously, you’re right- it IS worse than waiting to get engaged was. It’s almost all I can think about sometimes. Tonight we made a list of things we want/need to do before we start TTC so that hopefully that can at least distract me… it’s tough though!!!

Post # 15
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Like you, my Darling Husband and i are waiting at least 2 year to TTC.  I’ve been married for about 5 months now and that itch is getting really bad.

I’ve been getting that itch here and there but I always realize that it would not be good time for us right now.  We need to save up a little bit more and plus living in Seattle, there is a year wait list for child care!!  Yeah, I know.

I noticed my maternal instinct came out when I was coming home from our honeymoon a few days ago.  There was a 2 year old crying on the plane and she was in so much pain because her ears were popping and her parents were trying to do everything to help her.  I was almost in tears because I felt so bad for the baby.  I know how it feels to have your ear pop when you land and it kills me to hear a baby crying because she is in pain.  She kept saying.  “mommy owwie.”  It totally broke my heart.

I was starting to think of what I would do in their situation.  I just don’t know. Definitely something Darling Husband and I have to think of when we have children because all of our family are in PA and flying would be the only way to see them.

Post # 16
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m ready now. But will have to wait until our wedding this Oct. I keep reminding myself how hard it would be to fit into a dress, go on honeymoon with morning sickness and fixing up our new home if I was pregnant. I’m old so I guess my main concern is being able to get pregnant. The wait isn’t too bad but baby thoughts are always in the back of my mind.

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