Post # 1
Lately, lots of people have been commenting on our decision to join the Navy… and not in good ways. We’ve had a lot of people ask, “um… why? You just got married?” Or “oh my gosh, is your WIFE ok with that? I wouldn’t be at ALL.” Or my personal favorite… “that really sucks.”
Actually, no it doesn’t, thank you. We made the decision together and both are committed to it. Yes, we know it’s going to be difficult and there will be lots of sacrifice involved. I know we’ll be apart, I know we will miss a lot of special occasions, and when we have kids, it’ll only increase. I get that.
But, we’re excited! At least for now, this is our life. I despise being pitied for a decision we are excited about and is an incredibly honorable, wonderful choice! Plus, it would be nice to get a little appreciation, thanks, or simply admiration for choosing a tough, but honorable life.
Aargh…. it’s really annoying… anyone else experience this??
Post # 3
I am not in the military, but I come from a military family and hometown.
I could certainly never do it, and I do certainly ‘pity’ the sacrifices that our servicemen/women have to make regarding their families. BUT I would never tell someone, “Wow that sucks!”
It is certainly an honorable choice, and I have enormous respect for all of our armed forces. When I say “I could never do that!” It is really a remark of admiration. It truly takes a special kind of person, with special dedication and lots of strength and patience that many people (like me!) just don’t have. I don’t know the context in which those comments were made to you, but I hope at least some of them came from the same place I’m coming from. Me NOT being able to do it is a recognition that it takes a special person, if that makes sense! You have every right to be excited for (and proud of!!) what you are doing, and if it makes you happy then others should shut up, thank you for your sacrifices, and be happy for you! 🙂
Post # 4
From family no. my dad served and my parents were married during that time so no sympathy there…understanding and great advice though. From not so close friends all the time but i think its what people expect we want because if they arent familiar with the lifestyle or mentality they are not going to understand how proud we are of our SO. I would just brush it off. They are thinking short run and you are obviously thinking long run. And in the short run it does kinda suck. I am beyond proud of my Fiance but there are days that id trade it for a hug from him when my world feels like its falling apart. In the long run its a good life…but thats just what ive noticed.
Post # 5
I only get “that sucks” when I tell people Fiance is deploying and when I tell them that we’ve already been apart for more than we’ve been together for 2011. That kind of stuff.
I do get lots of “if you need anythings” and stuff like that and I appreciate it. It doesn’t bother me at all.
Post # 6
You know, it is your decision to make and not any one elses. If you have researched and understand what the situation is then have at it! If you were blindly going in without any kind of prep I would understand those kinds of questions, but if it is something you are prepared for just remember open and honest communication is a MUST, but that’s the only advice I have.
Post # 7
I think thats pretty ride for them to say that sucks! Prob more ignorance than anything. But you sounds pretty level headed and know what you are getting into and already I think you will make a good Navy wife with an attitude like that! ; )
Good for you and your hubs!!!
-A Former Sailor and now proud Navy Wife
Post # 8
I hated the pity that was directed towards us, so aside from people who already knew our situation, I never talked about it or offered up information unless they asked. For me, the situation was only made harder when people “reminded” me of how hard my situation was. I seriously wanted to be like, “Uh…yeah..thanks. I already know how hard it is. I”m living it. You don’t need to remind me!”
With that said, I feel the pity for the wives/girlfriends/FI’s of soldiers because I know how hard/excruciatingly lonely it can be.
Post # 9
Thanks, girls. It’s true… I have a hard time getting over comments like that. Sometimes I tend to be a ‘misery loves company’ kind of girl and just want empathy, but I realize it’s difficult to expect that without them having been there too.
I do feel very supported by most of our family and friends. DH’s one side of the family is Mennonite, and are pacificts. I totally respect their viewpoint, but obviously feel differently. A lot of negativity has come from them, but it’s also been from random people that we haven’t seen in awhile…. it’s just weird.
I’ll just work on getting over it. 🙂
Post # 10
My personal favourite is when I tell people my husband is in the CF I get “What if he goes overseas and dies”. I think I hate that one the most.
Post # 11
@s_h_e_l_b_s: Oh my gosh! People have actually SAID that to you???
I would seriously say something like, “and that’s a possibility I worry about. But he’s willing to do it and I’m willing to let him go knowing it could happen all for YOUR freedom.”