Post # 1
I am the youngest of three in my family, so naturally I’m the baby of the family. My brother is married but they dont have kids and by the looks of it might not have kids if my sister-in-law doesn’t want any. My older sister isnt married and doesnt have kids, I guess I always assumed she’d get married before me just because the order of kids. Well, I’ve been married almost 2 years and am pregnant with our first baby(unplanned). I felt horribly guilty the first few months after marriage towards my sister because I wanted her to experience the same happiness I did and just felt guilty cause I kind of beat her to it. Now that were pregnant the guilt is back even more so because this will be the first grandchild in my parents family and being the baby in my family doesnt make it easy for my mom even though I’m 25 and she was 25 when she had my brother. I want to be able to experience the joy of this but at the same time its hard because I never imagined me being the first to have kids. Anyone go through this? How do you get over this feeling of constant guilt? Its not like my sister is choosing to be single, its just very hard to find a good honest man nowadays and since she’s 29 most men are either married, divorced, or just dont want to get married.
Post # 2
I’m the oldest in my family and the last to get married and have kids. Of course sometimes there were pangs of jealousy, but my life’s path was totally different than my siblings and I wouldn’t change a thing. I never felt resentment or anything like that and was always happy for them, the jealousy was my own issue. I didn’t get married until I was 34 and had my first child at 35 and like I said, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Post # 3
youngest of four & first to marry but not first to have children
Post # 4
“Since she is 29, most men are either married, divorced, or just don’t want to get married.”
At 29??? Are you kidding me? That is an absolutely ridiculous statement.
Post # 5
I am the oldest of six. I was the first to marry but my brother beat me to the having kids part. Like PP said there was an initial pang of jealousy but I held no resentment and was very happy when my nephew was born.
Post # 5
I’m the oldest of three. My brother (the youngest) was the first to get married. I wouldn’t say I was jealous of him, more happy that my SIL is amazing. Neither of us has kids, but if they have kids before Darling Husband and me I will just be excited to have a niece or nephew.
ETA: Somehow I missed the last sentence of OP’s post the first time I read it. Um, being 29 and single isn’t actually the end of the world. I met my Darling Husband when I was 34.
Post # 7
There is nothing to feel guilty about. My younger brother was the first to marry. We were all ecstatic for him. I’m the middle child and have the first two kids in the family (wedding is coming).
If we waited on my older brother to get married and have kids we’d be old and gray. Everyone moves at their own pace… Should not have any bearing on other siblings.
Post # 8
I’m the oldest, and my younger brother is already married. Not a big deal at all; we’re very different people. He married his high school sweetheart straight out of college, and we’re ring shopping now at 30 and 31 after dating two years. I would frankly be relieved if they started making some grandkids, assuming they were ready, to take some of the pressure off of me.
Post # 9
This is making me wonder if I should ask my older brother if he feels upset that I’m getting married first. I never even thought of it, we both always had different life paths.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2017 - Greenspot Farms
I’m the middle child but my older sister never wanted to get married or have kids, so I was always really excited to be the first to get married and have kids. Then my younger sister (only a year and a half younger) accidently got pregnant. I adore her baby but, yes, I was a little bummed she gave our dad the first grandchild. I was still looking forward to having the first marriage but she just got engaged this month and wants to have a wedding this summer. Again, I’m very happy for her… but yes I am also a little jealous and bummed. It’s extreamly petty and I’m aware, but I’m human so it is what it is.
Post # 11
I feel a little weird that I’m getting married before my older brother but honestly he’s not ready to get Married and Im not going to postpone my marriage because he’s on a different path than me and I don’t think he expects me to. As far as I know he’s just ecstatic to be my man of honor!
Post # 12
I’m the middle child, an older brother, and sister and a younger sister. My brother has never really had a serious relationship, or even held down a job for more than a year. I do feel guilty when it comes to my sister though. She was in a 7 year relationship that ended when he wouldn’t commit, and since then she’s had a string of unsucessful romances. In the meantime I’m getting married and on my second child. My younger sister is also in a solid relationship, dating 6 years and living together. I know my older sister feels lonely sometimes and wants to have kids, so I imagine it’s hard watching me do it all when I’m the younger one. I try not to dwell on it though, because I can’t really do anything to change it. I have to live my life the best I can!
Post # 13
Well you might feel weird, but maybe your siblings dont really care?
I’m the 2nd to get married and 3rd to have kids in my family. My sister has 2 kids but doesn’t care about marriage, my older brother married young and isn’t too happy in his marriage but with 4 kids hes going no where, and my younger brother is a lost little soul still living with my parents.
I think they are all happy for me. My sister never said she wished she had been married first. If they are jealous about anything its because my mom and dad clearly favour my husband and i. what can i say, we are the best!