(Closed) Anyone get married/pregnant before their older siblings? A bit guilty feeling?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m the oldest in my family and the last to get married and have kids. Of course sometimes there were pangs of jealousy, but my life’s path was totally different than my siblings and I wouldn’t change a thing. I never felt resentment or anything like that and was always happy for them, the jealousy was my own issue. I didn’t get married until I was 34 and had my first child at 35 and like I said, I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Post # 3
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

youngest of four & first to marry but not first to have children

Post # 4
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

“Since she is 29, most men are either married, divorced, or just don’t want to get married.”

At 29???  Are you kidding me?  That is an absolutely ridiculous statement.  

Post # 5
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee

I am the oldest of six. I was the first to marry but my brother beat me to the having kids part. Like PP said there was an initial pang of jealousy but I held no resentment and was very happy when my nephew was born.

Post # 5
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m the oldest of three. My brother (the youngest) was the first to get married. I wouldn’t say I was jealous of him, more happy that my SIL is amazing. Neither of us has kids, but if they have kids before Darling Husband and me I will just be excited to have a niece or nephew. 

ETA: Somehow I missed the last sentence of OP’s post the first time I read it. Um, being 29 and single isn’t actually the end of the world. I met my Darling Husband when I was 34. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  annalise9.
Post # 7
Member
2804 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

There is nothing to feel guilty about. My younger brother was the first to marry. We were all ecstatic  for him. I’m the middle child and have the first two kids in the family (wedding is coming). 

If we waited on my older brother to get married and have kids we’d be old and gray. Everyone moves at their own pace… Should not have any bearing on other siblings.

Post # 8
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m the oldest, and my younger brother is already married. Not a big deal at all; we’re very different people. He married his high school sweetheart straight out of college, and we’re ring shopping now at 30 and 31 after dating two years. I would frankly be relieved if they started making some grandkids, assuming they were ready, to take some of the pressure off of me. 

Post # 9
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

This is making me wonder if I should ask my older brother if he feels upset that I’m getting married first.  I never even thought of it, we both always had different life paths.

Post # 10
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Greenspot Farms

I’m the middle child but my older sister never wanted to get married or have kids, so I was always really excited to be the first to get married and have kids. Then my younger sister (only a year and a half younger) accidently got pregnant. I adore her baby but, yes, I was a little bummed she gave our dad the first grandchild. I was still looking forward to having the first marriage but she just got engaged this month and wants to have a wedding this summer. Again, I’m very happy for her… but yes I am also a little jealous and bummed. It’s extreamly petty and I’m aware, but I’m human so it is what it is.

Post # 11
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I feel a little weird that I’m getting married before my older brother but honestly he’s not ready to get Married and Im not going to postpone my marriage because he’s on a different path than me and I don’t think he expects me to. As far as I know he’s just ecstatic to be my man of honor! 

Post # 12
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m the middle child, an older brother, and sister and a younger sister.  My brother has never really had a serious relationship, or even held down a job for more than a year.  I do feel guilty when it comes to my sister though.  She was in a 7 year relationship that ended when he wouldn’t commit, and since then she’s had a string of unsucessful romances.  In the meantime I’m getting married and on my second child.  My younger sister is also in a solid relationship, dating 6 years and living together.  I know my older sister feels lonely sometimes and wants to have kids, so I imagine it’s hard watching me do it all when I’m the younger one.  I try not to dwell on it though, because I can’t really do anything to change it.  I have to live my life the best I can! 

Post # 13
Member
3829 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well you might feel weird, but maybe your siblings dont really care?

I’m the 2nd to get married and 3rd to have kids in my family. My sister has 2 kids but doesn’t care about marriage, my older brother married young and isn’t too happy in his marriage but with 4 kids hes going no where, and my younger brother is a lost little soul still living with my parents. 

I think they are all happy for me. My sister never said she wished she had been married first.  If they are jealous about anything its because my mom and dad clearly favour my husband and i. what can i say, we are the best! 

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