(Closed) Anyone gift grabby?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Would you admit to being gift grabby?
    YES! I AM GIFT GRABBY : (15 votes)
    14 %
    I am, but would never let anyone know : (31 votes)
    29 %
    People are more important than gifts... but I would be offended if I didnt get gifts : (50 votes)
    47 %
    I dont want/like gifts : (11 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    6247 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    Realistically, I wouldn’t be registering for gifts if I didn’t want those things or hope that people would get them for me, right? 

    But I’m not going to throw a tantrum or be upset if someone attends my wedding and doesn’t get me anything in return.  Personally I would never attend a wedding without giving a gift, monetary or otherwise.  Heck, I don’t even like attending family parties without bringing something.  But that’s just me and how I was raised.  Not everyone feels that way and it’s not my duty to call them out for not bringing a gift. 

    But I can’t say I wouldn’t expect gifts.  I mean, I am registering after all. Does that make me gift grabby?


    Post # 4
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    The only thing that upset me was that my mother didn’t even get us a card. I do expect people to at least bring a card, especially my own mother.

    Everyone else got us something. I am seriously beyond amazed at how generous people were! We are really blessed to have so many awesome people in our lives who would give us such nice gifts. I am really grateful. I can’t wait to write thank you cards!

    Post # 5
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m not registering, nor am I putting “cash” instead of gifts. If people choose to give us something, or a gift its totally up to them. I would rather someone be at my wedding to celebrate with me and have fun, then to give me a gift I registered for.

    Post # 6
    7606 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    To be honest, I had never in my life heard of someone attending a wedding without bringing a gift until I came on the Bee.

    I wouldn’t be offended, per se, if someone doesn’t bring a gift, but I’d wonder about them for a minute or two.  It’s not how I was raised, personally.

    Post # 7
    11166 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @MapleMoose:  I agree, very well put.


    While we don’t necessary NEED the things we put on our registry I am really looking forward to receiving those items to freshen up and redo our home. While I don’t demand gifts certainly I am expecting them, that is just the way things work. Will I be offended if someone doesn’t give me a gift, meh perhaps annoyed but not offended.

    Post # 8
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would much rather have people there with me than have their gifts, but I do admit that it would hurt my feelings a little if people didn’t at least give me a card. I wouldn’t dwell on it, but it would cross my mind, I guess.

    Post # 9
    14661 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @DeathByDesign:  I was the opposite.  My parents might be the only one didnt get us a card or actual wedding gift too.  (They paid for the reception so they already contributed hugely).  But it didnt bother me one bit… I dont really see the need for formality of card/gift from parents.  Their support and contribution to everything leading upto the day says more than any card they could get.

     @MrsNeutrino:  In our culture, cash is standard gift.  I’d be lying if I said I wasnt looking forward to that to help replenish the cash we spent on the wedding!

    Post # 11
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expecting gifts, since weddings are a gift giving occasion and not giving a gift is rude. But I do think it’s important not to tell or imply to guests that they need to get you stuff.

    Post # 12
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Hell YES but I certainly would never admit that to the guests at the wedding. But bet your ass if you don’t give me something at the wedding I will be less than impressed (by a long way) not that you’d ever know it.

    Post # 13
    803 posts
    Busy bee

    People do matter, but if they showed up at my wedding without a gift, my feelings would be hurt especially if these were close friends. I would hope that our friendship, or relationship would warrant some thought or consideration.

    It really doesn’t have to be a big gift, or an expensive gift. I’m not counting on the gifts to pay for my wedding, or to get super expensive gifts. I know that people are struggling financially, but not receiving anything would make me feel really sad. Why didn’t our friendship warrant a homemade gift? I would have loved a homemade gift, or a homemade card because that would have said “Hey, you know I don’t have a lot of money, but I love you. I thought a lot about what to make you because you mean so much to me. I wrote all of this stuff in this card I made you because we’ve been through so much, and I’m so happy for you on this special day.”


    Post # 14
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I like to think I’m not gift grabby, but…. There is one family member who has been  insisting on inviting extra people; she got shot down the first time because we didn’t even know the person and her argument was that she needed to invite her so she could have a ride (um, your entire family is staying at the same hotel, I think you can find a ride from someone who’s actually invited), but now she’s invited her son along and we’re too tired to fight anymore. This same relative is incredibly cheap and has been known to give coupons as gifts. Yes, coupons. So I will admit to saying to FH “All this drama and all we’re going to get for it is a coupon!!”

    Post # 16
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsNeutrino:  Oh, don’t I wish–that was an actual baby shower gift. This relative is also famous for eating all the food; apparently you do NOT want to be behind her in a buffet line.  But we’re serving family style, so she’ll have to fight her own siblings for the food. 😀


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