Anyone had a in memory for a loved one who is no longer there at wedding?

posted 8 months ago in Emotional
Post # 31
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

septemberdaisy :  My Mom passed 7 years ago. We are lighting a candle at the ceremony for all passed loved ones and putting a blurb in the program.

“The lit candle is in loving memory of those who could not be with us on this joyus day.

_____ Mother of the Bride

_______ Grandparents of the Bride

________ Grandpa of the Groom

________ Grandpa of the Groom “

I am also having a boquet charm with my favorite quote from my mom, and FI is wearing his Grandfather’s tie clip.

Post # 33
440 posts
Helper bee

I found a cool old vintage ‘frame’ thing at a craft fair. Was wooden frame with chicken wire as the backdrop. We used cute clothespins to stick pictures and quotes to it to honor our grandparents and a friend that had passed away. It turned out really nice. We set it at the entryway of the aisle and I got a lot of comments on it 🙂

Post # 34
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

JessieFay13 :  I love that. I lost my grandmother at the same age and I still had a little moment like that as well. 

My favorite thing about wedding planning is it’s given me the opportunity to think about these things and have fond memories of people who will not be there. A few months ago my father and I went over my uncles house to go through some of my grandmothers old jewelry and things and they both got so emotional knowing that we were going to remember her in some way. I actually found her rosary that is the same color blue as my wedding colors and I’m going to wrap that around my bouquet as my something blue. So far it’s the best decision I’ve made for my wedding. 

Post # 35
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

septemberdaisy :  Thanks! Same here, my mom and I see butterflies and think of my sister. I’ve actually talked to them before, it may seem weird but is super theraputic. 

Post # 36
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

Recently I saw a best man say a quick “I know Steven would have loved to be here today to share with us” during his speech. Several guests sobbed the rest of the day since it was such a recent death. I would recommend if someone has recently passed you give a heads up to any immediate family so they can be prepared for how you honor them.

Post # 37
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

It seems I am in a distinct minority in thinking these memorials to the dead and all this remembrance isn’t always lovely. 

Brides work so hard to make everything perfect for their weddings with beautiful dresses and shoes, and obsessing over centerpieces, wedding party members. Then they drag people down with all the memories (not all of them good) of the deceased, all the guilt and unresolved issues that can come with it. 

I prefer private mementos. 

Post # 38
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

There are a number of ways to honor loved ones who have passed at your wedding . . . As with most wedding-related things, just remember there is no right or wrong way to do this,  but do what feels right to you. 

My husband’s  mom passed 4 months before our wedding, and the unexpectedly,   my mom also passed just 4 weeks before our wedding,  so they were both very much on our minds on our wedding day. 

This is what we chose to do:

Our pastor mentioned  our mothers  and my grandparents who had passed 2 years ago during the ceremony.   I put this on the back of our programs:

We also had a remembrance table in the foyer of the reception hall.   I used a photo of my parents from a couple years ago from their 40th wedding anniversary and had my husband choose his mom’s photo.  

I tried to keep the messages positive … Remembering that  our moms were still with us that day,  but just watching from heaven. 

I wore one of my mom’s rings.   I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone but my dad,  but our photographer asked me if it was my mom’s during the reception and took a photo.  

I had also considered a  putting different-colored floral arrangement (something like wildflowers which his mom loved)  in the church in honor of his mom but my husband didn’t want that.   Hope that helps… I know a lot of people have designated a empty chair for a loved one who passed,  but we didn’t choose to do that.

My husband also mentioned our  moms in his thank you speech and told everyone that he was happy he had the opportunity to ask both my parents before he proposed to me (which my husband did more so out of respect and tradition than necessity.) 

Read more:

Post # 39
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Jacksonville Inn

When my wife and I got married we had a memory table to honor my parents who are both deceased as well as her father who has passed on. We had family pictures on the table and a bouquet of yellow roses ( my Mom’s favorite ). I also had a friend who walke down the aisle after our officiant, lit candles on the table and read something I had written. It was a nice way to acknowledge them on such a momentous day.

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