Post # 1
Hey I am new here and I was wanting to ask a question. My husband and I just got married this past summer, we are a young couple 21 and 23, we are both in school, I plan on getting my Master’s..but still have about 4 years. We have decided to wait to have kids, because we are not financially set yet, we both have jobs, but like I said we are in school. And I know we are not ready to have children yet and we both want to be living in another house by the time we start trying, BUT I can’t seem to shake the baby making out of my head. I feel like I want a baby right now! I don’t know why I would feel this way, when I KNOW we are not ready!!! I know this!…Have any of you had to deal with this? If so how did you make the feeling of wanting a baby go away until you know you are ready? And I have not told him I am feeling this way..he would freak out. haha…In a very scared way.Thanks any advice is MUCH needed
Post # 3
Oops…Sorry I posted this in the wrong place..I will repost in the right place. Sorry..like I said I am new here! haha
Post # 4
Let me tell you- and from the other side (not yet married) that I am a career oriented gal, BUT I work with pediatrics… making the baby-making-nonsense NON-STOP. At work they always ask how old my kids are…. “um none yet” is my reply. Then I site that I’m getting married, and they’re like “So we’ll see a lil one on the way then?” and I’m like…. “noooo.” Uh, sigh. I want to wait at least 3 years logically. But I dunno if I can handle all my adorable babies/kids at work!
Post # 5
Maybe it would help to reiterate the reasons you know you’re not ready yet. Like talk to someone about the challanges of finishing grad school and caring for a baby. Or spend some time babysitting – where you feel a little relief when you hand them back and get to go home and relax and sleep 🙂
Don’t get me wrong – I’m all about babies and have wanted to be a mom for FOREVER. But their is the reality that it’s a lot of work, and non-stop, life-changing and expensive. So there are valid reasons couples put this on hold 🙂
I’m 31 – have been working for 9 years, owned a house for 4, married for 3, financially stable… etc etc. In reality had we gotten pregnant right after the wedding everything would have been fine… we were ‘ready’ in many ways. But we chose to wait because we wanted to adjust to being married, we wanted to travel a bit, and just because. Let me tell you the last year was hard for me… By the time we hit our ‘TTC’ plan I was so ready to have the baby in hand 🙂 (plus lots of friends were having babies!) But you know – I wouldn’t change anything about life so far – I’ve loved these 3 baby-free years with my hubby.
Post # 6
And I’m in Pediatrics too, but also waited until I was ready… I wanted to make sure my maturity, earning potential and relationship were all in line with “baby-readiness”.
I had tons of external pressures on me, but I have to say in hindsight, I’m so glad I’ve waited. No one has to live with your choices except you, so you have to make sure you are making the best one for your life!
Post # 7
I would still discuss this with your hubby. If it was me, I’d say something like, “don’t worry, logically I know that we aren’t read for a baby yet, BUT sometimes I still get the urge to have one.” Then, see how he reacts. If you are confident in waiting, it’s OK to communicate the desire. Like, lots of us WANT to go buy a fancy car or take a fancy trip, but we know we aren’t really financially ready, and we hold off. Desire to have a baby doesn’t equal intent to have one, so I’d just be honest with him.