(Closed) Anyone had to deal with negative comments about pregnancy/motherhood?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

One thing I’ve learned from being pregnant is that EVERYONE has something to say about it. Whether it be about having a baby or the prengnancy itself. Don’t let it get to you! Of course it will be a huge change (especially being your first!) but personally I feel having a child can only make my life more enjoyable and full. It will test our marriage but also bring us closer to each other.

i remember when I was getting married people would always be like “don’t do it”  or “its not too late to change your mind” – sometimes I just think people want to make a joke out it or something? I just try to brush those comments off because I’m thrilled to be having a baby and heading on this journey with my husband. Its something we always dreamt about πŸ™‚

 

Post # 4
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@loveknows:  “Oh you and Darling Husband are excited now – just you wait until real life sets in, your stomach looks like a sack, you have bags under your eyes to match your droopy tits and Darling Husband can’t bare to touch you, and then come and tell me how exciting it all is.” From a grouchy old miserable cow we know who has pushed away everyone she loved.

Post # 5
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee

People can be so rude sometimes. I hear the same kinds of complaints from a couple of my friends who are newly engaged, married men/women telling them how horrible it is to be married and such. What gives? Just because your marriage/kids suck doesn’t mean everyone’s does. πŸ˜›

The only thing I get is a couple of remarks from family if we are out together and there are screaming babies or kids acting up, someone will look over to me and ask something like, “you sure you are ready for that?” or, “see what you will get to deal with soon?”. *sigh* I just treat it like a joke and move on. No point in focusing on negativity like that during pregnancy. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t sleep well at the best of times, and with pregnancy thrown into the mix, I’m barely sleeping.  Any time that I mention how tired I am, I get the “just wait until the baby comes, you don’t even know what tired is!” or admonitions to get sleep now, as if I had a choice.  Sorry, sleep can’t be banked for months ahead.  Even if I could sleep through the night, which I would dearly love to, it’s not going to help me when baby comes!

Post # 10
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah, everyone gets those. Marriage & kids bring out the busy bodies in people, unfortunately. Trust me, it doesn’t stop after pregnancy, people will continue to give unsollicited commentary when you’re trying to parent your kid, too. 

Generally I just smile, nod, and think in the back of my head how lucky I am not to be bitter. Though I am the first to admit that all those people talking about napping were right. I just wish I would’ve appreciated sleep while I had the freedom to nap when I wanted, but that’s neither here nor there!

Post # 11
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yup!  Get it all the time.  How hard it is.  How you think it’s great now, but wait until the screaming starts (and never stops). How they suck the life (and fun) out of you.  blah blah blah.  We’ve heard it all too, and it’s REALLY annoying.  why can’t people just let you be happy?

Post # 13
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@loveknows:  We havent told anyone we are expecting, but I have heard it all already. 
I find it very unfair. Out of my DHs friends, most already have children and they are the worst. One couple who were the “first” in the group to have a child had all of us SO EXCITED for them and now we are pregnant they are nothing but negative. Its like, thanks a lot, we showered you with excitement and all we get back when it is our time is negativity. 

 

Post # 14
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

People who tend to be negative towards parenthood confuse me. Yeah, I know about the diapers, sleepless nights, terrors of childhood. I nannied for families for years- been there, done all the negatives without the positives of parenthood (very hard job, by the way!). 

Out of all the comments we received from people during our engagement/early marriage one was recurring among many- don’t rush into kids. Wait years to have them. Enjoy the travel and time you have without them. 

Um yeah, but really? We never had a honeymoon, money to travel or even a wedding that happened to be remotely happy. The happiness we HAVE found is in each other and starting our family together. *eyeroll* 

Often though, I find the people who say these things are general Debbie Downers, have failed marriages and kids who hate them- or are single and bitter that others have found their soul mates while they are alone. No offence to anyone who is. I just know that this can fuel a lot of negativity revolving a pregnancy or engagement. 

I’m often stuck in the middle between wanting to tell people who will be iffy for us and getting it over with- or actually staying blissfully ignorant and keeping the pregnancy a secret. 

 

Edit: this also reminds me of mommyjacking I’ve seen on stfuparents blog. Happy status from single friends- oh you should have kids, they are the best ever (comment from susie sweetheart) 

status about finishing grad school – congrats, oh so-and-so had their first poop today, so proud! 

status from tired friend with no children- wait til you have kids, you’ll never sleep again!

What so-and-so is wearing for halloween- I’m going as a tired mom with nose wipes and stroller! 

 

God. SO annoying. I told hubby if I ever turned into that to ban me from all social networking. ick. 

Post # 15
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Just wanted to post with a positive! I had sent a spreadsheet to one of the sales guys at work but then had to recall it because I forgot to update something (pregnancy brain!). He asked how long I had left and I said “9.5 week, let the coundown begin!” and he just messaged me back with this:

“It will be the best day of your life.  And then every day after will be better than that…..”

Its rare I get positive comments so thought I’d share with y’all!

Post # 16
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@totheislnds:  That is such a nice comment to get.

I guess I feel pretty lucky that I haven’t really get comments like that at all. And I don’t think I have ever made a comment like that to anyone about being a mom, or the hard parts of being one. What crummy attitudes:(

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