(Closed) Anyone have a bridal shower that wasn't a surprise?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Were you surprised for your shower?

    Yes!

    No, I requested to not be surprised

    No, I found out accidentally

    No, surprise showers are not custom in my area

  • Post # 2
    Member
    2403 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    onceuponadream:  Truly don’t mean to be judgemental, but I’ve honestly never heard of a surprise bridal shower. Is that a thing?

    I’ve heard of surprise birthday parties, but don’t you (the bride) usually give your Maid/Matron of Honor a list of guests along with their contact information for the bridal shower? I’ve honestly never been to a surprise shower and would feel kind of strange attending one if the bride didn’t know about it ahead of time. 

    Maybe it’s a regional thing?

    ETA: I couldn’t vote in the poll because neither of the No options apply to my experience. 

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  Soon2bmrs1.
    Post # 3
    Member
    2013 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’ve never heard of a surprise bridal shower either. I was thrown two showers and knew about both of them.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4007 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Didn’t know surprise showers were a thing either. I was well aware of my showers. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I have actually never heard of a surprise bridal shower.  The ones I have been to the bride always knew about.  This helps with invitations and planning.  I have been to a surprise party for the bride, but that was only for a small group of friends and family (10 of the groom’s female family members threw a small party for the bride bc they were not able to go to the bridal shower out of state).

    Post # 6
    Member
    9800 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I don’t think any shower I have ever been to was a surprise

    Post # 7
    Member
    2176 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    personally I am so done with surprise any party – I think its cute when its like 1 time randomly in a lifetime but it seems like today everyone wants surprise everything all the time (I have been to like 40 “surprise” birthdays in the past 3 years… I wasn’t always this bitter about it) 

    I didn’t have a surprise shower and I still was totally happy because my shower wasn’t about it being a surprise it was about all the ladies showing me love and supporting my DH and I. 

    Not to mention that I obviously knew and expected it when I gave a list of the people, gave a list of the dates I was free, found out that a bunch of my relatives were traveling to where my parents live, registered for a whole bunch of gifts for those people to buy me, bought a special dress just for the occassion etc – I guess it is possible to have a surprise shower but seems like a lot more work and energy and to be honest I wouldn’t want to put any more on my friends/ family when they are already being super amazing and generous

    Post # 8
    Member
    137 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    Maybe this is a regional thing?  The vast majority of showers I have been to were surprise showers.  But like you I don’t want a surprise myself lol.  In general I’m very difficult to surprise, so I feel like I will end up finding out anyway, and why should they go to extra trouble if I’ll just end up ruining it lol

    Post # 9
    Member
    943 posts
    Busy bee

    I think surprise showers might be more of an older tradition than a current one?  My mom and Mother-In-Law had surprise showers.  I live 3 hours from them both, so I knew when my shower was since I needed to request off from work and drive home for it lol.  If you don’t want it to be a surprise, you could talk to whoever wants to plan it for you, and ask if they mind the time/location not being a surprise for you?  Do you know who is planning it for you?  Or if they’re planning one for you?  Would you feel comfortable asking them to not surprise you?

    Post # 10
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    My family used to do surprise showers but not anymore. It’s just easier I guess. My Maid/Matron of Honor requested ideas for the guest list and the addresses she doesn’t have. Other than that, it’ll be a surprise. I agree it’s nice not to be a surprise to plan your outfit out and such!

    Post # 11
    Member
    922 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island

    I think they are an older tradition.  I’ve been to one that was intended to be a surprise but the bride figured it out, so whatever.  But I feel like most brides are clued in so they can provide an invite list and know to dress up a bit.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Southern California bee here! And I have never heard of or been to a suprise bridal shower 😀

    Post # 15
    Member
    991 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Mine wasn’t a surprise! I live 3k miles from family, so I knew the week I was in town would be my shower. I also told my sister and mom that I wanted to know what time/day it was so that I could pick out my outfit, have my hair and makeup look nice, etc. I hate being surprised if I am all groddy looking! My sister asked the same for her shower a few months earlier, so it was no problem!

    They did surprise me with the location, which was nice, bc they got to feel like they surprised me, but I didn’t have any of the anxiety of being completely surprised lol.

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