Post # 1
Tell me about it! Will I regret not wanting a surprise? I feel like I’ll be happier and less stressed if I can pick my outfit and be prepared and maybe even get a makeup trial that morning. I know from the planning side, it will be easier on my girls.
Post # 2
Truly don’t mean to be judgemental, but I’ve honestly never heard of a surprise bridal shower. Is that a thing?
I’ve heard of surprise birthday parties, but don’t you (the bride) usually give your Maid/Matron of Honor a list of guests along with their contact information for the bridal shower? I’ve honestly never been to a surprise shower and would feel kind of strange attending one if the bride didn’t know about it ahead of time.
Maybe it’s a regional thing?
ETA: I couldn’t vote in the poll because neither of the No options apply to my experience.
Post # 3
I’ve never heard of a surprise bridal shower either. I was thrown two showers and knew about both of them.
Post # 4
Didn’t know surprise showers were a thing either. I was well aware of my showers.
Post # 5
I have actually never heard of a surprise bridal shower. The ones I have been to the bride always knew about. This helps with invitations and planning. I have been to a surprise party for the bride, but that was only for a small group of friends and family (10 of the groom’s female family members threw a small party for the bride bc they were not able to go to the bridal shower out of state).
Post # 6
I don’t think any shower I have ever been to was a surprise
Post # 7
personally I am so done with surprise any party – I think its cute when its like 1 time randomly in a lifetime but it seems like today everyone wants surprise everything all the time (I have been to like 40 “surprise” birthdays in the past 3 years… I wasn’t always this bitter about it)
I didn’t have a surprise shower and I still was totally happy because my shower wasn’t about it being a surprise it was about all the ladies showing me love and supporting my DH and I.
Not to mention that I obviously knew and expected it when I gave a list of the people, gave a list of the dates I was free, found out that a bunch of my relatives were traveling to where my parents live, registered for a whole bunch of gifts for those people to buy me, bought a special dress just for the occassion etc – I guess it is possible to have a surprise shower but seems like a lot more work and energy and to be honest I wouldn’t want to put any more on my friends/ family when they are already being super amazing and generous
Post # 8
Maybe this is a regional thing? The vast majority of showers I have been to were surprise showers. But like you I don’t want a surprise myself lol. In general I’m very difficult to surprise, so I feel like I will end up finding out anyway, and why should they go to extra trouble if I’ll just end up ruining it lol
Post # 9
I think surprise showers might be more of an older tradition than a current one? My mom and Mother-In-Law had surprise showers. I live 3 hours from them both, so I knew when my shower was since I needed to request off from work and drive home for it lol. If you don’t want it to be a surprise, you could talk to whoever wants to plan it for you, and ask if they mind the time/location not being a surprise for you? Do you know who is planning it for you? Or if they’re planning one for you? Would you feel comfortable asking them to not surprise you?
Post # 10
My family used to do surprise showers but not anymore. It’s just easier I guess. My Maid/Matron of Honor requested ideas for the guest list and the addresses she doesn’t have. Other than that, it’ll be a surprise. I agree it’s nice not to be a surprise to plan your outfit out and such!
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2017 - Vineyard on Long Island
I think they are an older tradition. I’ve been to one that was intended to be a surprise but the bride figured it out, so whatever. But I feel like most brides are clued in so they can provide an invite list and know to dress up a bit.
Post # 12
So interesting you’ve never heard of them! I am on the East Coast and it is a basically a must-have around here. My Maid/Matron of Honor is (jokingly) mad at me for saying I don’t want a surprise lol
Around here, the bride gives the guest list and all and knows she is getting a shower but doesn’t know when. It is super stressful for the planners tho lol
Where are you all from, out of curiosity?
bbbria: kes18: FutureMrsBex: teledee: Soon2bmrs1:
Post # 13
I’m feeling much more normal now- Thank you ladies! In my family/friends group, not having a surprise shower is a major “clutch your pearls” moment hahaha
Post # 14
Southern California bee here! And I have never heard of or been to a suprise bridal shower 😀
Post # 15
Mine wasn’t a surprise! I live 3k miles from family, so I knew the week I was in town would be my shower. I also told my sister and mom that I wanted to know what time/day it was so that I could pick out my outfit, have my hair and makeup look nice, etc. I hate being surprised if I am all groddy looking! My sister asked the same for her shower a few months earlier, so it was no problem!
They did surprise me with the location, which was nice, bc they got to feel like they surprised me, but I didn’t have any of the anxiety of being completely surprised lol.