(Closed) anyone have a ‘non-surprising’ engagement?

posted 10 years ago in Proposals
Post # 19
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

@patchy:  Your path is not that of someone who has not taken the time to curate a relationship.  Who cares if its not a surprise?  Dont let expectations gleaned from movies make you think it has to be shocking to be wonderful.  (Hey my sister swallowed her ring-NOT fun!) I will also tell you I’ve a friend who always had a “childhood wish” to be engaged under the Eiffel Tower…so when finally her 5 year boyfriend and she finished law school and went to Paris together and had reservations for dinner AND on that night he ordered a limousine…C’mon her story about it being “a surprise” was nauseating.  Everyone was privately mocking her for such artifice.  If you two, who have built a solid relationship get engaged even over the phone…that can be a beautiful moment.    

If you want some magic…make him a cake the morning after and say its our first day engaged celebration–I’m sure you will continue to surprise each other with delightful ways to show your love–which frankly, is all its about.  Congrats IN ADVANCE!

Post # 20
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

I didn’t even have a proposal.  We had talked about getting married, I mostly worked with the jeweler on the ring, we picked it up together and as we were walking to the car, he asked me if I wanted to put it on.  I did and when we got home, he put his on and we fist bumped.  It’s been 2 weeks and we are so freaking happy.  We’re going to do a nice dinner eventually but it’s not really a priority.  

Post # 21
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

No surprise here either! We were engaged without the ring/question being asked (that sounds strange but it makes sense in my head) and I told him for my birthday I wanted a ring. I picked it out and we ordered it together. So of course, I knew it was coming on my birthday. Worked for us. Of course, having some fabulous/thoughtful/sweet story to tell would be nice but it wouldn’t really be us. 

Post # 22
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ patchy: I’m also the one in correspondence with our jeweler, but that’s because SO wants me to be completely satisfied with what I get.

Regarding your “just sucks a little that I know all the details down to the exact date!” – Don’t nail down the date! You’ve already got everything in order, and if you really do want a surprise, tell him to dismiss the day you said. In my mind, there’s not really a “perfect” day to propose – he could come home tonight and do it and I’d be stoked. 

I also tend to over-think, and I feel like me talking about when I’d ideally want to get married has kind of influenced when he’s going to propose, but I also know it’s something he does want to do.

Maybe if you stop mentioning it (and tell him not to worry about the February engagement date), he’ll actually propose sooner!

Not sure if any of my ideas are “you” though – which is also fine πŸ™‚

Post # 23
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ patchy: I’m also the one in correspondence with our jeweler, but that’s because SO wants me to be completely satisfied with what I get.

Regarding your “just sucks a little that I know all the details down to the exact date!” – Don’t nail down the date! You’ve already got everything in order, and if you really do want a surprise, tell him to dismiss the day you said. In my mind, there’s not really a “perfect” day to propose – he could come home tonight and do it and I’d be stoked. 

I also tend to over-think, and I feel like me talking about when I’d ideally want to get married has kind of influenced when he’s going to propose, but I also know it’s something he does want to do. But I’m really trying to take a back-seat because I don’t want to look back and think that things happened because of me pushing the topic… you know? (Although he wants to do it, I want him to do it when he really wants to.)

Maybe if you stop mentioning it (and tell him not to worry about the February engagement date), he’ll actually propose sooner!

Not sure if any of my ideas are “you”, though – which is also fine πŸ™‚

Post # 24
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I knew that Fiance was going to propose. We even picked out the right together and I was there when we brought it home, but it didnt take anything away from how special that moment was to both of us!!

Post # 25
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I knew exactly when and how he was going to propose. I had gone with him and picked out a ring a few weeks ahead of time so I knew it was soon, and was 95% sure he would ask on our anniversary.  Two days later, I was vacuuming, lifted a pile of papers off the floor to vacuum and saw the receipt for the ring.  Then I became 100% convinced I was right about the when.  I figured out the how a little before that, and became 100% sure on that pretty quickly.  He tried to make it a surprise, but well, he’s not very good at secret-keeping and I can read him well! I knew the day, time, and method…but the surprise was not important to me AT ALL. Frankly, it was important to him, so I decided to just pretend I was surprised (this is one secret I am perfectly fine keeping from him). He still gushes about how great the proposal was (it was really darn cute) and how surprised I was.  I was just totally thrilled we were getting engaged after 7 years!

Post # 26
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

A proposal is a proposal…mine wasn’t a surprise at all, we planned it together and I picked out the ring and I knew it was going to happen just not the exact day – though as soon as I walked in our house the day he did it, I knew it was THE day.

Surprises don’t change the end result – some girls like the big surprise and if you get one, that’s awesome. Others just find the right guy, know it’s the right time and get on with it.

I didn’t have the whole elaborate surprise with me bursting into tears and my Fiance being all relieved not knowing if I was going to say yes or not but it was still lovely and special and the most important part is that we love each other and are going to spend the rest of our lives together.

Post # 28
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It’s not hard to to suprise someone after that long. My Fiance were together 5 1/2 years before we get engaged and all i knew was before 2012. I couldve been anywhere between August 2011-December 31st at midnight. He finally proposed Oct 15th 2011 on sweetest day and it was a complete suprise i had no idea he even had the ring!

Post # 29
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

No surprise here! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. We were together for 5 years as well. We’d known, had bought a house, etc., I even picked up my ring from the jeweler for him πŸ˜‰ It may not have been a surprise, but it was exactly right for US. We have a solid relationship/marriage and I’d rather have that than some crazy proposal story πŸ™‚ The day he got down on his knee to give me the ring (he did do that part, but it was NOOOO surprise) he actually said before we went to dinner “Hon…I don’t know what to do, the box won’t fit in my pocket” LOL!!!

ETA: He “officially” proposed in May, I had bought my dress in September and we’d booked our reception site in December. No surprise there, but again, it was what was right for us. We knew we were going to get married and we’re so very happy.

Post # 30
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

my fiance and i have been together 9 years so of course we both knew we were going to get married and had talked about when it would be. i even went with him to pick out the ring i wanted πŸ˜‰

once i knew he had it i tried my best not to bug him about it because i wanted to salvage some semblance of a normal proposal with the element of surprise… our anniversary came and went in september without a proposal so i honestly thought he was waiting for christmas and didn’t think about it anymore.

the night of my company halloween party there was a moment where i suddenly realized he was on stage with the band… it only took a minute to figure out he was about to propose to me in front of all these people! definitely not how i imagined it or what i would’ve thought he’d do, but i guess that’s what made it such a good surprise πŸ™‚

congrats to all you ladies who were surprised or not, just being engaged is so exciting! 

Post # 31
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Non-surprising but surprising all at once. We where unofficially engaged since last September, and where ring shopping for a good year after that. 

There where some bumps, and an almost breakup. We though love each other deeply, and I realized he really is one of the things I want in my life. 

He proposed unofficially over skype. That is the proposal he likes to say anyway. I liked the ring shopping and deciding to create my engagement ring, when that ring came, that was when it became official. No on the knees. I told him we where already engaged, he didnt’ need to do it. 

In a way I feel like I proposed to him too. I asked him if he wouldnt’ mind hyphenating his name with mine and I would do the same. The yes was so amazing. So he got me to say yes, I asked him to hypheante our names, and he said yes. And then the ring shopping. That is my story and I’m sticking to it. I just love it all. But I am so excited to be married. 

Only a couple months away. Hey maybe I should start counting in weeks now. That would be 7. 

Post # 32
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My hubby never proposed. We just decided to get married and got married. Later (after we were married), he bought me a ring so people would stop asking me where the ring was.

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