Post # 1
I love him! I don’t want this to sound like I am complaining about him or bashing him in any way, but I just wanted to know how you lovely ladies with overly emotional men have learned to deal.
He is in the military and it is very rare that we get to see each other, last week he was badly injured and in the hospital (He will be okay long term nothing serious to worry about) They flew him home and I got to see him for a few days but when he was getting on the plane to leave again last night he was so emotional it was breaking my heart. Tears and sobbing and genuinely depressed.
I was sad to see him go too, there were a few silent tears but I actually felt bad for not crying as much as he was. Even the txt messages I am getting from him today are very emotional and I don’t really know how to handle it. I wish I could be there for him but I kind of feel like I am comforting a small child.
Post # 3
I work in the Military and I can tell you that people don’t generally know how to handle their emotions effectively. They are just taught to suppress it for a long time and rarely do they ever get a medium to decompress.
Having said that, my bro is overly emotional as compared to other guys. He is an adult and does have a gf and a solid relationship but he does cry a lot still. There isn’t much you can do about it. Being nice and accepting and tolerant hasn’t worked with him. Giving him tough love hasn’t worked either. And on the other hand you have me, who rarely ever cries (even being the ‘weaker’ sex so to speak.)
He has to make the decision/s for himself NOT to take life so seriously because it is full of disappointments and let’s face it, a lot of the tears are wasted.
Post # 4
I dunno if I would call it “overly” emotional to have a meltdown after a serious injury and a short visit with your wife. He probably misses you and is freaked out by his close call, then seeing you and having to leave again and go back to a job where he might not feel safe might be really hard for him. Does he like being in the military or does he want out? My brother was in for 8 years and when he met his wife all he did was complain about how much he hates his job and is homesick. He’s a fairly emotional guy to and wanted to be talking to her constantlyyyyy. I think when women are emotional they cry and it’s acceptable and even endearing, but when men talk about feelings or cry people just feel awkward. It’s kind of nice that he feels comfortable telling you how he feels, and as weird as it is I think the only thing you can do is be supportive.
Post # 5
I don’t know how I would deal with an over emotional Fiance. Is he or is he going to be deployed? I think that on its own would be reason to be emotional in addition to the injury. When my family found out that my brother is due to be deployed again in the fall of 2012 I think we all wanted to cry even though it its almost a year away! I think the military is very stressful for people and some aren’t taught the right ways on how to manage it. I know they try to teach the families but even that is minimal. My brother isn’t emotional but he has mentioned that some of the guys are, it kinda makes me sad 🙁
Post # 6
I can’t even imagine the stress of that situation – the distance and the close call. I wouldn’t call that overly emotional myself, just from what I’m reading here.
My Fiance was a Marine… he’s not really emotional, except the rare times when he gets completely drunk. But when he does get emotional (the rare times that have nothing to do with drunk), it’s pretty intense. He has cried before. Which was a little wierd, only because I don’t really know how to handle crying when I’m not the one doing it (or even when I am).
Post # 7
@Moja Milosc: He loves his job, but he doesn’t curently love where he is stationed. He has been in the military 13 years and has never been stationed close to his home/friends/family. I agree maybe overly emotional was the wrong term. I am just not used to seeing him like this. He gets excited easily but typicly not sad to the point of crying. Hopefully this is a short term thing that was just becuase of the hospital scare.
It hurts to see him so sad and know that I am not there to do anything about it. Just reassure him we will be fine and keep going on with my day.
Post # 8
I think that it’s so strange that we expect men to be emotionless. As woman we do tend to be more emotional, but what’s the big deal if a guy is? I don’t think my husband is over emotional, but maybe others would. He cries in appropriate situations, which I think your FI’s situation would be considered appropriate.