Post # 1
Darling Husband has decided to try to quit smoking again and I’ve been his cheerleader the whole time. But yesterday hit the 10-day mark and he started craving one. he said he was going to buy a pack and smoke one. I told him no because if he just smokes one, every time he passes his cig pack, he’s going to want another one. He said it again later. I told him no. That night he said “this is a good time for a cigarette.” I told him he didn’t need it and kissed him. He was a little agitated, impatient, and absent-minded yesterday as well.
I don’t really know if I’m doing this right. Last time he tried to quit we were just work friends so I stayed out of his way. I don’t want to be an enabler but I’m also afraid that if I’m too strict, it’ll backfire. I don’t know the best way to support him when he’s feeling like crap during withdrawel stages.
I’ve suggested nicoderm patches and weaning him off but he insists on quitting cold turkey because he says he’s tried other methods before and they don’t work for him.
Post # 3
My SO doesn’t, but my dad smoked for 35 years before giving it up 4 years ago and I couldn’t be prouder. He did it with help from his doctor who put him on one of the pills (i think it starts with a “C”)….I never in my life thought my dad could stop smoking because he was a 2-3 pack a day smoker and loved it, but apparently a lot of support, some help from the doctor, and a lot of willpower does the trick. My dad missed cigarettes for about 3 months…but now he’s a huge fan of gum and jelly beans instead of cigarettes! Good luck to you and your SO!
Post # 4
Instead of telling him ‘No’ you might just say ‘I’d really rather you not, you’ve been doing so well!’ so that your not telling him what to do. He’s going to be cranky either way though, it’s a hard habit to kick.
Post # 5
Your Darling Husband and my Darling Husband are the same. The first time my Darling Husband announced he was quitting, I was ecstatic and ran out to buy him patches. He didn’t use them, wanted to go cold turkey “because that’s the only method that works” and then moved on to “baby steps” aka smoking a little, back to his usual amount.
This happened a few more times, even when he went to the doctor and got lozenges. They made him nauseous, so he went straight back to his usual routine.
I realized that he will only quit if he really, really wants it. There is nothing I can do.
Post # 6
I was the SO who quit smoking as it turned out. The thing that helped me the most is focusing on the positives of quitting, rather than the negatives of why you should. If people tried to guilt trip me about it or make me feel badly, I’d shut down. If people said “Wow you’re doing so well, keep it up” it encouraged me to keep going. Kind of like losing weight in a way.
Post # 7
My husband is going through this right now – he’s 32 and started smoking at 15 :/
The first month, he just reduced the amount. He had tried cold turkey in the past and it just didn’t ever stick. He went from a pack a day to about 3/4 a pack a day – not much but I took what I could get!
About a month and a half ago, he actually transitioned to an e-cigarette and I cannot say enough good things about it. He gets his nicotine craving WITHOUT the tobacco and still feels like he’s smoking since he goes through the actual motions. There are four levels of nicotine cartridges – high, medium, low, and none. He’s on his last low and will transition to none since he’s still a bit addicted to the actual motions of smoking. I’m SO PROUD of him, he hasn’t had any tobacco in 1.5 months. And the e-cigarette is great because it satisifies his cravings and doesn’t have the nasty smell – the smoke he blows out is just water vapor! He tried the patches and gum and hated them, but for some reason he really latched onto the e-cig and it’s worked fabulously so far.
Post # 8
@AprilJo2011: I realized that he will only quit if he really, really wants it. There is nothing I can do.
That’s the main thing that keeps running through my head. I can’t force him to quit but telling him, “you’re an adult and i can’t tell you what to do” seems like giving up on him.
Also, great suggestions from everyone. I like the e-cig idea but I don’t know if Darling Husband will be up for trying it. Worth a shot, though.
He’s actually not that bad in the amount every day. He buys a pack every week or two weeks. It’s just that he’s basically smoked since he was a kid so it’s an ingrained part of his life. I made a point to tell my dad about his quitting cause my dad used to smoke a lot. He sent me a text saying it was wonderful and 10 days is really good, then it will be 11, then 12, then 20 years before he knows it. i showed Darling Husband, hoping the positive encouragement and the knowledge that people besides me are rooting for him will help him out.
Post # 9
I quit, and I just had to go cold turkey. I never think about it, or let myself be around any smoke AT ALL. Ever. Darling Husband was a regular maryjane smoker, and we both quit together 🙂 (years and years ago now) Taking up running really helps! Get yourself naturally high….
Post # 10
Darling Husband quit cold turkey about 5 years ago. He doesn’t have an addictive personality (yet still smoked for years for some reason) so it wasn’t a huge pain for him. My mom quit at one point too but unfortunately started back up. She was able to quit for an extended period of time by pretty much constantly snacking. I can’t tell you how many bags of chex mix that woman went through! This probably isn’t the best advice but that’s really all I’ve got. Good luck to your Darling Husband. Quitting smoking is a huge accomplishment!
Post # 11
@cbee: I thought about that too. DH’s best friend smokes, and a lot of the people we work with smoke so I’m worried he’ll fall back because of being around them when they smoke. Even if they don’t do it around him, I’m afraid if he has to watch them leave for a smoke break he’ll have a harder time.
Post # 12
As a smoker myself its great to have a cheerleader but i’ve found that when my husband gets on me about it it only makes me mad and annoyed. BUT the fact that he has gone 10 days is huge and I think you need to keep telling him no when he wants one – having support helps but you also cant get mad if he gives in, it is an addiction and not an easy one to break. I’ve come to the point where I am pretty much ready to give it up but cold turkey is so hard! i’ve tried it a couple times. ‘m really tempted to try chantix..If i can’t do it on my own i’m not too proud to get some help. It scares me a little, I don’t really like medication but it’s short term..like 3 months i think and I know several people who have used it and it worked with no issues.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
The first month Mr. LK was extra crabby and it definitely tried our patience. Every time he would tell me he wanted a cig, I would remind him of all of the reasons he decided to quit. Every time I sensed that he was having a cranky moment, I’d remind him of how much I loved him no matter what, how proud I was of him, how much his health would improve, how tough he was, etc. It was rough, but he got through the worst of it. He’s been smoke-free for 2.5 years now, and he is so glad that he quit. I am too. 🙂
Edit: Lollipops are a good substitute for cigs. They provide a similar motion and can be had anywhere at anytime.