Post # 1
A common theme is bridesmaid drama, for various reasons. I have one that, as soon as she found out she was pregnant, practically dropped off the face of the earth. I only know she’s alive because of her constant FB updates about her pregnancy, but I haven’t heard from her in over a month (her last communication was a text saying “I’ll call you soon”). I’ve tried contacting her to ask how she’s doing, how she’s feeling, etc, but no responses. She isn’t the most flaky person on the planet, but does have her moments, so I am a bit concerned I’ll have a last-minute dropout.
Anyway, back to my original point… have any of you had, currently have, or know someone who had a backup bridesmaid? Someone for “just in case”? Is it a good idea or a bad idea?
Post # 3
I am a little concerned about one of my bridesmaids flaking out too just before the wedding for the same reason as you. She is pregnant lives out of town and hasn’t contacted me in a while. My other bridesmaid who is her sister, they are my cousins keeps telling me that they are definately both coming which I hope is the case seeing as I am going to have to pay for both of their dresses. I don’t technically have a backup bridesmaid since I havent talked to the person I will pick if she flakes. I have someone in mind and I will ask them if I get a confirmation that she is definately not coming.
Post # 4
No, I wouldn’t have a backup bridesmaid. I think it is rather poor form to have someone waiting in the wings just in case your original bridesmaid has to drop out for some reason. It sends a very bad message to your back up – basically saying “You’re not important enough in my life for me to originally want you in my bridal party, but if one of my original choices can’t make it, you’re my top second choice!” I would be rather offended if someone did that to me and would turn them down.
If your friend can’t be in the wedding for some reason, just go with uneven numbers in your wedding party – it’s really not that big of a deal. I’ve been in a couple of weddings where the numbers have been uneven and it hasn’t ever been an issue.
As for your friend not being responsive right now, don’t put too much stock into it at the moment. Pregnancy does so many different things to a person and it certainly doesn’t mean she’s going to flake out on her friend in 11 months time.
I would just leave it for now and not worry about the backup bridesmaid. It more than likely will not turn out well – for you, for your friend, and for the back up you choose.
Post # 6
@Ree723: I agree with you, I wouldn’t want to ask someone “will you be my backup?” I guess I didn’t really word it properly… I was more thinking along the lines of is it okay to just have someone in mind?
As for me, I’ve been thinking a lot about adding another girl anyway because she’s such a great friend and I’d really like to have her in the wedding party. I’ve just been hesitant to add another because the numbers would be uneven and our wedding is somewhat small, so I don’t want the wedding party to be as large as the number of guests, lol
I’m making personalized gifts for the wedding party that I’ll have to start soon, though, so that’s another reason why I’d like to start figuring out what I should do.