(Closed) Anyone have backup bridesmaids?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is it a good idea to have a backup BM if one of your BMs is unreliable or flaky?
    yes : (3 votes)
    19 %
    no : (13 votes)
    81 %
  • Post # 3
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I am a little concerned about one of my bridesmaids flaking out too just before the wedding for the same reason as you. She is pregnant lives out of town and hasn’t contacted me in a while. My other bridesmaid who is her sister, they are my cousins keeps telling me that they are definately both coming which I hope is the case seeing as I am going to have to pay for both of their dresses. I don’t technically have a backup bridesmaid since I havent talked to the person I will pick if she flakes. I have someone in mind and I will ask them if I get a confirmation that she is definately not coming.

    Post # 4
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    No, I wouldn’t have a backup bridesmaid.   I think it is rather poor form to have someone waiting in the wings just in case your original bridesmaid has to drop out for some reason.  It sends a very bad message to your back up – basically saying “You’re not important enough in my life for me to originally want you in my bridal party, but if one of my original choices can’t make it, you’re my top second choice!”  I would be rather offended if someone did that to me and would turn them down. 

    If your friend can’t be in the wedding for some reason, just go with uneven numbers in your wedding party – it’s really not that big of a deal.  I’ve been in a couple of weddings where the numbers have been uneven and it hasn’t ever been an issue.  

    As for your friend not being responsive right now, don’t put too much stock into it at the moment.  Pregnancy does so many different things to a person and it certainly doesn’t mean she’s going to flake out on her friend in 11 months time.  

    I would just leave it for now and not worry about the backup bridesmaid.  It more than likely will not turn out well – for you, for your friend, and for the back up you choose.

    The topic ‘Anyone have backup bridesmaids?’ is closed to new replies.

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