Anyone have experience with long commutes?

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
1898 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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c3lloninja :  I drive 1 hour each way to work and its stressful. Be prepared for stress if there is traffic. 

Post # 3
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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c3lloninja :  an hour to 90 minutes is my commute each way. Previously I’ve commuted 2.5 hours each way. Personally I find the 90 minutes isn’t too bad but I’ve learnt my limit is around the 2 hour mark. Get some (audio)books and podcasts. It’ll just become part of your alone time each day.

Post # 4
Member
10229 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Don’t write off grad school because your boyfriend doesn’t want to move!

You can do a long commute or you can move alone and do long distance while you are in grad school (that’s what I did). Personally, over an hour would be way too long for me but I know people in my grad program who made similar commutes. I currently have a 45 minute commute and enjoy listening to podcasts rather than music.

Post # 5
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Where are you driving?  Is it scenic?  Multiple high-traffic zones?  Do you have to get up early, if so, are you a morning person?  A scenic commute that is 90 minutes without traffic can be very enjoyable.  But a non-scenic commute crossing multiple bottleneck zones can stretch 90 minutes to 2-3 hours easily, which will drain your cortisol levels.  I might sound like captain obvious here, but unless you have actually lived stressful, stop and go commutes, it might not occur to you how truly draining it is until you are stuck in that position.  If you area is safe, I’d suggest the bus or train should your commute be the stressful kind. 

Post # 6
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee

I drive 40 miles to one office – takes about 1hr15 in stop start traffic and I really struggle with this journey sometimes. The other office is 70 miles, but takes about 1hr35 in moving traffic (once I get to the motorway anyway) so a much nicer drive. I try and do 1-2 days in each office per week, and then a day or two at home.

For me, the job is worth it, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when you’re stuck in yet another queue! I think the type of commute can make a huge difference; I mind the longer drive less because it feels quicker as you keep moving but I can’t afford the fuel to do it every day.

Post # 8
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I would advise you not to sacrifice your own opportunities for a bf who is unwilling to meet you half way. 

Post # 9
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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abouttodoit17 :  Completely agree with this.  Your boyfriend’s position is a red flag.

But, OP, a drive without traffic might make it easier if the sacrifice is worth it to you.  I would suggest taking a Monday off and doing the drive at the time(s) you would if you started grad school to see for yourself whether it’s possible. 

Post # 10
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My commute to work can be up to 90 minutes each way in rush-hour traffic, especially if there’s a wreck or road work on the way.  It is not fun and what I do to make it bearable doesn’t sound like it would be an option for you.  Anyway what I do is ride the train to work because I don’t have to pay attention to the road while I’m on the train and it bypasses traffic.  If trains weren’t an option then I would still ride the bus, because even though it wouldn’t bypass traffic, I would still be able to read or whatever on the bus.

But the real problem: Your Boyfriend or Best Friend doesn’t want to move, even just to make the drive “a little shorter” for you?  Ummm. 

 

Post # 12
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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c3lloninja :  But you’re willing to drop everything for him? 

Post # 14
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper

 

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c3lloninja :  How many days per week would you have to be on campus and how many days could you study/ research/write etc from home? If you only need to go in a few times per week, this could be do-able, but on a daily basis this could wear you down. I’m at a half hour commute now which is do-able, but at a previous job I had to temporarily cover another office with a 2 hour commute each way- even though the company was generous in paying not only the expenses but my travel time, I ended up with frequent bad headaches by the time I got home and started feeling pretty burnt out. 

Also concerning, as other Bees have voiced, that your boyfriend is un-budgable. Please don’t make any decisions based on a guy who won’t compromise and take your needs into consideration. 

Also- if you’re in an area that has harsh winters, please keep in mind that you’ll be doing this commute in all kinds of road conditions. 

Post # 15
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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c3lloninja :  You specifically said in your post that your Boyfriend or Best Friend doesn’t want to move and therefore that’s why you hadn’t been considering grad school before now. 

Will be looking at a grad school 90 minutes away. Bf does not want to relocate because of his job, so I kind of wrote off grad school. However, my professor brought up the fact that I could commute

The best thing seems to live half way between each. 

 

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