(Closed) Anyone have experiences with a disabled bridesmaid

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@JennaT: Just a thought of advice, you don’t necessarily have to have her as a bridesmaid. Your post caught my eye as I have an intellectually disabled sister who will not be a bridesmaid in my wedding. Her disability will make carrying out any duties very difficult. If you wanted to celebrate your families, perhaps have them make a formal entry once your guests are seated before the procession. Or raise a toast to her at the reception. Touch base with her and see what she would like 🙂

Post # 4
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

In my extensive experience with people with disabilities in both my personal and professional life, I have noticed overwhelmingly that people with congenital disorders are much more “okay” adjusted and…unselfconscious about their condition than those who had to cope with them later in life, so I would be very cognizant of her attititude-she may be very depressed and self-conscious adjusting to her new lifestyle. Therefore, I would be careful about drawing unwanted attention to her-honor her with a message in the program or a song.


I second scribbles’ suggestion to ask her what she would want, and do it. A bit of a word of caution, thoughI know this sounds silly but make sure that you talk to her like an adult, especially if the accident in no way affected her cognition and not like an invalid.


Most importantly, however, go out of your way to make sure it doesn’t seem like you’re doing this out of pity because that might just make her feel worse especially if you had already determined your bridesmaids and are adding her in as an afterthought. If I were you I would approach it with the tone “hey i was thinking about having another bridesmaid, and was wondering if you would be interested.” and the only real problem i see her having is with regard to dress fitting.

But yeah, if she is open to the idea I say go for it! Its a way for her life to feel “normal” again-something I aanticipate she’s really going to need. 


Sorry if I come off sounding like a smartypants. I don’t mean to be snobby. I spend most of my time around people with disabilities and spend a lot of time thinking about these things. 

Post # 5
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

First of all, I would discuss it with her. Does she feel emotionally able to be apart of the wedding and be on display with the other bridesmaids? How comfortable is she being actively involved?

Post # 6
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Agree x 10 with above posters. Talk to her. She may not want everyone looking at her. My brother, who was a former athlete, went into a wheelchair when he was 26 and it was a very hard transition. If she would like to be a part of the wedding what about maybe making her a reader? That way she wouldn’t have to do the matching dress process down the aisle thing.

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