Post # 1
Fiance and I are getting married at the cathedral instead of his local church, since we are going to be moving RIGHT near the cathedral once we are married, and it is an hour closer to our reception venue. To get married in the catholic church, we obviously need to complete the mandatory pre-marriage counselling.
However, we also need permission from his local church to get married at a different church. The priest at his local church has been super nice, and hasn’t seem to indicate that there is any problem with us getting married elsewhere. However, he told us he’d like us to attend 3 sessions with him prior to him giving permission. We’ve attended the three sessions now, but there really isn’t any suggestion of them ending anytime soon… he wants to see us again.
He hasn’t given us any indication that something is wrong, or that he will refuse us permission – he just wants to keep seeing us.
Anyone else ever have more then the mandatory counselling to attend?
Post # 3
YES. I am in the Lincoln doicese (sp?) and it one of the very strict ones and we are required to go to 6 sessions with the priest, the engaged encounter, and a NFP session. It is a lot, especially since I live 4 hours away! I really like the priest and the sessions are great, it’s just a lot of meetings and I will be glad when we are finished. Hope yours go well!
Post # 4
I have been very forward with our church about how difficult it is to meet all the requirements. They have been much more reasonable since then. Also I started working with the deacon instead of the priest. The deacon has a family and is more real life about time and has been awesome!
Post # 5
for those of you who are having issues with travelling, would it be possible to do the sessions online? There are plenty of services (beyond SKype) that you can use – Wimba is like a virtual classroom with whiteboard app, and you can share files on your screen with videoconferencing capability. It might be worth the gas money and travel time to check it out (or other other similar options).
Post # 6
He’s probably enthused about meeting with you! I would talk with him about each of your expectations about what kind of sessions you will be having, how many, and at what intervals. Counseling can be so helpful, and three sessions really isn’t that much time. Don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you because you’ve done more than three sessions; if anything, you’re getting more of a benefit! But you should all be able to talk about what your plan for the counseling sessions should be. I am a trained counselor and this is standard practice.
Post # 7
Two things usually cause “extra” meetings: one is that the priest is a chatty kathy and just wants to talk to you. The other is that there’s something that’s set off a red flag and he wants to work through it. You might not have even known that you set off a red flag. If you mentioned birth control, that you didn’t know if you want children, or if you are going to “let your child choose his or her religion”, then you can expect extra counseling.
Post # 8
I have to go through the marriage counseling too, obviously. However, ours hasn’t started yet. I hope it goes well. We have to meet with other married couples to do our counseling. I’m curious about what goes on during the sessions…how long they are…. and how many times they occur.
Post # 9
I am having just the opposite experience. Our wedding is 12/31 and until last week, I couldnt get an appt with the priest. The secretary kept telling us he’ll meet with us closer to the wedding. (Uh…our wedding is in 2 months). Finally I had my Fiance email her and tell her I was getting concerned because we couldnt plan the music. She called me and asked me what the problem was. I told her we needed to talk with the priest to decide about a ceremony or a mass. We had an appt that night. But there is no counseling at all. I was actually hoping he would want to meet with us a few times to get to know us a little since we are new to the parish. We did go to PreCana – all day Sat a few weeks ago. I wanted some ideas about how to handle FI’s kids – he had no ideas. My Fiance thinks it’s just because he knows we ‘ve done this before. I just wish our priest was as Type A as I am.
Post # 10
my fiance and i are getting married in a catholic church..my wedding isn’t till august 2011. our priest wants to meet with us every 2 months. we had to go to a mandatory seminar “God’s plan to a Joyfilled Marriage”. It lasted 6 hours at a location an hour away from home and we had to pay $125 for the program. Now our priest is thinking about putting us through a weekend seminar program..I just can’t do that..I think personally it’s a little too much, but i guess that;s what the church wants
Post # 11
I thought the weekend retreat would be cheesy and a waste of time but my fiancé and I really enjoyed it and learned SO much with how to handle our arguments and disagreements better, and we learned we weren’t respecting each other as much as we would like to be respected. Afterward I fell completely ready to be married to such an amazing man instead of thinking of all the wedding stress.
But I’m getting married at St. James Cathedral in Seattle and it’s a little more laid back than what I was expecting. 1. The focus test. 2. Meeting with a couple who has been married awhile to discuss the results 3. Meet with father 4. Engaged encounters weekend.
Pretty straight forward. I would remind the priest of your original goals to keep things moving along, they deal with a lot of people so sometimes they can be forgetful.