Post # 1
I’ve always had a very good, drama-free relationship with all my girlfriends, so this is all incredibly new and upsetting to me. I’ve known my 3 best friends for about 13-14 years now.
The closest of the friends to me. So when i got engaged, I made her my Maid/Matron of Honor. The whole year before my engagement she kept telling me how she knew it was coming, and how she could not wait to do wedding planning and would be the best Maid/Matron of Honor ever. She even helped my Fiance pick the ring! Well, I got engaged and she has been M.I.A…. She could care less about my wedding and getting her to get excited about anything is like pulling teeth.
I asked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor back when we were in High School. Well, 13 years later, i grew closer to Girl #1, so I decided to keep my word and maid her CO-MOH. She goes to school abroad so it took me 4 months to tell her she was CO maid of honor. Well, when I finally told her, she took herself out of the wedding party completely. I was so insulted that i told her to not even bother coming to my wedding if she refused to be in the bridal party. I haven’t talked to her in 7 months.
2 of her sisters just got engaged and she is super busy with school so she really can’t be there for me and I understand.
Girl #4 and Girl #5 are super happy for me and have been life saving with helping me plan my bachelorette party. I’ve only known them 4 year..
The people who i thought truly loved me unconditionally turned out to care-less and this sucks.
I’m so sad. and FYI. I’m not a bridezilla and have never asked any of them to do anything. I even allowed to girl to buy their own favorite little black dresses for the wedding, shoes, makeup. I told them that i want them to feel pretty.
Also, Girl #1 is single (all her friends are getting engaged/married and she has told me how “annoying” it is), Girl #2 (just divorced a yr ago after 7 yrs of marriage).
ANY ADVICE? ANYONE ELSE GETTING HURT AND DISAPPOINTED???
Post # 3
It sounds like girl #1 might be either a little jealous or just super busy with her studies. My Maid/Matron of Honor studied abroad in college and I hardly talked to her that year. Girl #2 might’ve had a bad divorce and doesn’t want to deal with weddings right now. I wouldn’t take them blowing you off too personally but easier said than done when they were your BFFs. Sorry 🙁
Post # 4
Not sure what’s going on with girl #1 — it seems like there might be some kind of disconnect between the two of you. If she even went so far as to help pick out the ring, she obviously cares. Have you tried having a true heart to heart with her about it? Maybe plan a fun girl’s weekend with just the two of you, talk about HER as well as yourself and then get to the core of the problem. She may be feeling extra lonely right now if she’s single and all of her friends as you say are getting married. It’s hard to be the odd one out.
Girl #2 — I’m not really sure about this one. You promised each other over a decade ago when you were little kids to be Maid/Matron of Honor. Sounds like she’s really busy and focused on her studies and made the wise decision not to be in a wedding party because she couldn’t afford/make time for it. That doesn’t mean she isn’t your friend, and telling her not to come to the wedding sounds like burning a bridge unnecessarily. I had an incredibly tough time affording my best friend’s wedding when I was in college and we almost stopped being friends because I was so stressed/cash-strapped/etc. as a co-MOH for her. She was hurt that I couldn’t help with much of the planning and parties, I was embarrassed to not be able to afford stuff, etc.
And you just *made* her co-MOH without even asking her or talking to her about it? Sounds like there might have been some presumptions on your part as to what she was willing/able to do, and this is probably why she bowed out completely. I hope you can repair this friendship and reinvite her to your wedding so you don’t lose a friendship that’s lasted over 13 years so far.
It is really difficult to realize that people you want in your bridal party might not have the time or ability to make the commitment. It’s easy to jump to “they don’t care about me”, but try and think about it from their perspective. Hopefully you can restore and repair these friendships.
Post # 5
Haha I mixed up #1 and #2, sorry! Sleep depravation fail.
Post # 6
Have had some VERY simular problems! Unfortunatly mine are a little more dramaitc. Imagine that right?!
My #1 and I have been friends for about 15 yrs. She has some personal issues that I don’t want a part of my wedding but I can’t stand knowing that the person that has been my best friend most of my life won’t be standing next to me at my wedding!
I had problems coming up with a number of Bridesmaid or Best Man to match the # of groomsmen that my FH wanted so I added my sister in law and my future sister in law..I have always wanted my bridal party to be special, and have my CLOSE friends there with me; but honestly those 2 lovely ladies have helped me with more than any of my “CLOSE friends” have.
Let things play out the way that they will and a word of advice that kinda brought things into perspective for me…
“If you have to invite your best friend to your wedding then your marrying the wrong person!”
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I think you have to manage expectations a little bit. You have 4 & 5 who seem happy to help. Why not enjoy planning with them and give the other girls the space they need to deal with whatever is on their plates right now?
Don’t snap defeat out of the jaws of victory…having two bridesmaids to help you is awesome!