(Closed) Anyone heard of a “green shower”

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: what would you do?
    throw them the shower they're asking for : (1 votes)
    5 %
    throw a traditional shower that they might not want or appreciate : (12 votes)
    57 %
    don't do anything at all : (8 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

    hahah, I had a “green shower” where people were asked to consider packaging and how the presents were wrapped (many came in reusable grocery bags).  But not money… I haven’t heard of that…

    Post # 4
    Member
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Eesh… Never heard of it. I’d just say that you’re not comfortable hosting it, but you’re happy to host a traditional shower if they’d like one.

    My first reaction was to call it t*cky, but I guess it would be ok if it were customary in your region/social circle – the couple isn’t actually asking for money themselves, after all. But since it sounds totally new to you, it probably isn’t customary for your family/region, either.

    Post # 5
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ve seen two variations.  One involved people creating a “money tree”.  A cute tree was made and everyone’s $$ gifts were placed into cute little bags that hang from the tree.  Not a fan of the idea but that’s one idea.  I was also invited to a baby shower where instead of gifts (it was the third baby) everyone brought target gift cards so the mom to be could combine them and get what she really needed.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7384 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I was invited to a “green” baby shower and like dorsay- the shower was green like environmental.  But I’ve never heard of the money kind.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2030 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I have not heard of this kind of shower before but it seems ripe for trouble. Traditionally gifts are opened publicly at the shower, but opening cash gifts is bound to make some guests feel embarassed for giving too much or too little. Maybe you could point out your concerns to the bride and ask her opinion. Maybe she just hadn’t thought it out yet. I guess if it is truly what she wants then OK, but if you do it make sure not to do a public gift opening.

    Post # 8
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I clicked on this board hoping “green shower” meant environmentally friendly!  Was looking for good ideas on that! 🙂

    I don’t blame you for being uncomfortable!  I would tell her to register for less items than people invited to the shower and then just hope that people give money or gift cards.  I don’t think there is ever a polite way to say, “We’d really rather have cash.”

    Post # 9
    Member
    412 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    That’s super lame and presumptuous.  You usually can’t put anything about specific gifts at all on an invitation.  I say scrap it and go for a “Stock the Bar” or other theme shower.  If they just want money, tell them to register for gift cards but I don’t think you should get involved with that.  I have heard that most Oriental wedding guests just give money for the present but I don’t know if that includes showers.  I still don’t think anyone ever asks for money, that’s just traditionally what they receive.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1901 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’ve never heard of this either, but you are the host and I think you should pick/plan the shower. For my 1st wedding, I didn’t have any input into my bridal shower, it was a surprise. My Maid/Matron of Honor has told me very little about our couples shower. She asked if I wanted a bridal shower, personal shower or couples shower, but she’s planning the rest. It’s a surprise as well.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    If you’re against it, then you are within your rights not to host it. Asking for money is always rude and you likely won’t be the only one offended by the idea. Either throw them a traditional shower or skip it entirely. But no I have never heard of such a thing, probably because most people I hang out with know much better than that.

    Post # 12
    Member
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Sounds a little like my SIL, she had a “Shower by mail.”  ie you get an invite and mail her a gift.  Beyond tacky, it was just plain rude.

    Post # 13
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Ha I assumed that this was an environmentally friendly thing.

    God if they want that then just tell them where to get off!!!

     

    We’ve haven’t signed up for a gift registry thing – we have a list of stuff that we need for our house (it’s filled with furniture that’s falling to pieces!!) and were asking for second hand or vintage stuff so that it’s a bit more environmentally friendly!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    455 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I want to know what you ended up doing. Update? 🙂

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