(Closed) Anyone inviting certain co-workers to the wedding but not others.

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I work in a unit that has been reorganized a few times already, and I wanted to invite a FEW people and their wives but not my entire team. I invited my manager, my second level manager, and two coworkers who talk to me on a regular basis and we go out for lunch, etc. I handed their invitation to them on the side and told them quietly I wasn’t really inviting many people from work but that I would like for them to come if they could. They all nodded, said thank you, and said they completely understood. My boss was really thrilled; nobody was expecting to be invited b/c I’ve commented a few times that it’s mostly a "family wedding" to avoid confusion and discussion of my wedding at work. I work in a manufacturing engineering unit anyways and all my coworkers are much older than me, so I try to avoid wedding talk and being portrayed like a young girl as much possible

Post # 4
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I didn’t invite co-workers I’m pretty new, so it was easy

Post # 5
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I too invited a few co-workers. I invited my team (4 guys and their fams) as well as 3 ladies and their spouses and 1 other guy whom I have known for 4 years and are my closest co-workers. Besides my team, I sent an email to the other 3 ladies letting know that I wanted to include them in my wedding and preferred that they didn’t share this with the other ladies in the building just to prevent the cat-iness that surrounds that building. These are all great people that have been with me with the ups and downs of the company and have gotten closer too as years pass. I am greatful that they will be there.

Post # 6
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I work in the sheriff’s office of my county so I will not be inviting everyone (because there are about 30 deputies), but I am inviting the front office ladies because they are who I work with everyday and there are only about 7 of them.

Post # 7
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m new at my job so I won’t be inviting any work people. 

FH is inviting some people from work.  One of his co-workers is… well, a jerk and will not be invited.  He actually had the nerve to tell FH that he better be invited and if he isn’t, he will crash our wedding.  This man is in his 60s!!  My Dad used to be a bartender, so he has plenty of experience throwing people out.  I’l be giving my Dad a heads up that his old bartending skills may be needed if this guy shows.

Post # 8
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I work in an office made up of mostly women, there’s about 15 people total.  I am only inviting two of them.  They are the only people in the office who I consider a friend.  Other than that, the rest are just co-workers.  So, for me, there’s a clear line dividing my co-workers from my friends.

So, to answer your question, I would just invite the 1.  Even if you have the extra invites.  Someone more "meaningful" might come up.

I think that a lot of us find ourselves worrying too much about what other people will think.  In the end, you can only do so much, keeping in mind that every person attending is more money that you’re spending.  And unless you have A LOT of it to spend and it’s not a factor, then that’s good enough reason for me not to invite people who don’t have a special place in my life.

 

Post # 9
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

For me it was a tricky situation – I work in an office with 5 people. were all close, however with some past situations/events with some co-workers and myself,  I don’t want all of them there. I only invited 2!….They all think they’re coming….but only 2 of them have gotten the invite. I dont really know how to go about telling them – so I haven’t and am leaving it at that so far….

Post # 10
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

I’m only inviting 2 of my coworkers (there are only 8 people in my ENTIRE COMPANY). I get along with 4, and despise 1 and love 2. I’m only inviting the coworkers that I’ve hung out with outside of work. I’m also inviting those 2 because they make me laugh, cheer me up when work gets me stressed out and because they love me like a friend. The rest of them would just show up, eat and leave and I dont’ want to pay as much as we’re paying for food for them. None of my coworkers expected to be invited so it’s not a big deal.
Fiance is only inviting 1 person he works with. He keeps saying "They wouldn’t want to come to our wedding" and I tell him they might. None of them are expecting to be invited (I’m not sure how many even know we’re getting married). I told him he can invite whomever he wants but he’s a boy so he just shrugged! LOL
My opinion is to only invite the people you hang out with outside of work. Just let them know that you couldn’t invite everyone so they know not to spread the word they were invited.
Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I work for a small company made up of about four people. I decided to invite all of them, but since we are a small company, the four of us are pretty close, so it just seemed like the natural thing to do.

 Then again, our wedding list is almost 200 people. i think its important to take your guest list into consideration too. If I were having a small 50 something guests wedding, then I probably wouldn’t invite them.

 Its hard to say without really knowing what your office dynamic is like. I say, invite anyone you’ve had conversations about your wedding too, and anyone you just know you want there.

 Guest lists are tough!

Post # 12
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

for my work peeps, there are two people who i am obviously actually friends with (do stuff outside of work, etc) and then my bosses (3) who I am inviting. I think the criteria are clear enough that no one would be offended. but i agree–it’s hard to pick and choose.

a few years ago i was invited to a coworker’s wedding who i hardly knew at all–she invited all 15 people in our department! tho i appreciated the invite, i certainly wasn’t expecting it and did not feel it was necessary at all.

Post # 13
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA

Yeah, I’ve been having the same debate.  I have about 400 employees at my company, and work in a department of 12 people.  I’m pretty close to 4 of them in my department, so will for sure invite them, but have been debating about the rest of my department.  I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t come, but have been thinking of giving them an invitation anyway, to share the love.  I mean, I do talk to these people a lot, and I don’t want to have any hurt feelings.

What would any of you do, give invitations to the rest of the department I’m not super close with, knowing they probably won’t come, or not give them the option to say no?  I’m also concerned that I don’t want these people to think they HAVE to come, but I would be happy to have them if they wanted to.

Post # 14
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Invite people you actually talk to at work and you want them at your wedding. 

I’m only inviting a few people I actually talk to and like.  I wouldn’t give them the invites at work.  Just get their address and send them to their house.  Its more discreet that way. 

 

Post # 15
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

My office consists of about 50 people. I only invited the four people I’ve worked with for the last 3 years. My department has 10 people in it- but like I said, I only invite four.

I don’t think you need to invite everyone, but you need to make sure the people you do not invite won’t feel slighted.

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