(Closed) Anyone lost a close/best friend over your engagement?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Sadly I can relate. 

I  had a friend whom when I was single, we did EVERYTHING together. She was my person. But as soon as I started dating, my now husband, she stopped calling. It got to be where I was the only one making the effort. We never had a blow out or anything, but she just distanced herself. It was sad b/c I invited her to the wedding and she came but I couldnt help but think that “she should be a bridesmaid if only she wouldnt have distanced herself from me so much.

I had to just let it go and try to move on. It is really sad and I am so sorry that you had to deal with it.

Post # 4
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Cambridge Mill

Unfortunatly I can relate as well….

 

My best friend and I did everything together, we got together at least twice a week. Once my fiance proposed things changed over night. She stopped hanging out, stopped texting etc. I left it alone figuring she had a lot going on in her own life (who doesn’t) and after a while I  threw a get together with other friends for her to meet the other girls that I planned on having in the wedding party. She was silent the entire time. Didn’t congratulate me, didn’t carry on the conversation NOTHING. I even kept stearing it away from the wedding planning topic and asking her questions about her current courses, her bf and her family and all i got were one word answers. After the get together i left her be for a week or so, and she did eventually text back and apologized for not being social and that was it. I didn’t hear from her for ages. We had a few social gatherings where she didn’t talk to me and I always had to start the conversation. Finally I got tired of it and texted her what was wrong and why she’s been so different….WELLL HOLY HECK!… big boo boo.. to sumarize the huge texts that i received, she ended up calling me crazy, and she’s tired of bending over to please me, and that I always ignore her (it was a lot nastier than this) her and her Boyfriend or Best Friend resorted to fb to spread nasty names about me (whose the mature one)  so in the end, the friendship is done…but i’m glad i got the see this side of her before I picked and confirmed my wedding party. 

 

I may add that I am not her first friend that she has done this to, so to me its almost jealousy…

 

I’m sorry that you are dealing with this ๐Ÿ™ 

Post # 5
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

SoonToBeMrsBOP:  Yes, as soon as I became engaged, and my best friend of 20 years was already married and onto her first baby…our friendship drive itself head first into a brick wall. It really sucks when your happy life changes bring about other sad endings.

Post # 6
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

SoonToBeMrsBOP:  Sorry, I missed your question…

Well, what I did, was beg and plead with her to tell me what was going on and why she was being so distant. I emailed, called, texted, left upset messages, and chased her and chased her and chased her. I was like a crazy ex girlfriend that just got dumped but still kept hanging on. It didn’t work. I wish I had let things just drift away naturally because she slammed the door on me hard and now we don’t speak anymore at all. So don’t do what I did. 

Post # 8
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

 too can relate. My best friend and I were golden up until I got engaged. She turned into someone I didn’t even know in the blink of an eye. She started hanging out with a new friend and basically forgot all about me. She was supposed to be the Maid/Matron of Honor in my wedding she already had her dress but 3 months before the wedding and on the anniversary of my father’s death she sent me a text informing me that she no longer wanted to be friends with me. Her excuse? I left her daughter’s birthday party early. I had explained to her that day that I left because my brother was sick and was in the hospital. I was totally crushed. The sucky part is I still work with her and her new best friend. Our friendship ended over 2 years ago and it still hurts. I have tried to talk to her but she won’t even look at me.

Post # 11
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I had a similar situation happen with one of my close friends. I asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and she accepted. Without me even asking she starting contating people about bachlorette party festivities,(I have a short 6 month engagement), offerign to help DIY invites, and other things. Then she lost her job, which she hated and was already interviewing for new jobs. She backed out out being a bridesmaid for money reasona, even after my Fiance offered to pay for her dress. Then she pretty much stopped talking to me and only gave me short or one word text replies. She also was telling another close friend of mine how it was hard to be happy for me when she was looking for a job and some other bizarre stuff. Some other weird drama happend, and at that point I did not even want her at the wedding anymore. Since then, she has gotten offered an out of state job, and is moving soon or has alredy moved, so I am assuming she will not be at the wedding. The whole thing was really weird, and makes me kinda sad. On the other hand, I am glad that all the drama seems to be over now and we cna both move forward with our lives. 

I also had some of my single friends stop asking me out after I got engaged, which I thought was really weird. My Fiance and I hang out with friends without each other on a regular basis, and that is not going to change just becasue we are getting married. I am actually traveling alone for about 12 this summer after our wedding and honeymoon doing some work for a group I love and am so excited. Some people have a lot of (wrong) assumptions about marriage, and I did talk to some of my singe friends and explained to them that my Fiance and I have our own lives and friends and still will when we get married. I think they get it now. 

SoonToBeMrsBOP:  Sometimes, people do drift apart and it’s hard to let them go. If your Boyfriend or Best Friend can’t be happy for you, or at lest act like it when you are around, it’s probablty not a healthy relationship. I remember years ago, when I was with a different man who eventyally ended things with me, I was suddenly surrounded with wedidngs and it sucked. However, I was genuienly happy for these people in my life, just sad that it was not my situation. Your true friends will be happy for you when there are times of celebration and also be there for you when the shit hits the fan. I know it’s hard to let go, but it is what is best for both of you really. Surround yourself with people that support and envourge you, and do the same for them. Life is too short to be dealing with unneeded drama and hurt feelings from people who are not truly your friend. I know it’s easier said than done, but if she really wants to be your frind, if you drift away, she will do her best to stop it. 

Post # 13
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I lost one of my freinds due to her engagment. She has lost many friends due to her engagment and how she acted after it. All my friends and I got invited to her wedding by text message. Then she sent out this really tacky email that leads to her wedding website. On the site she wants her guest to host the reception, bring everything including presents. They will be getting married in africa and then honeymooning in mexico. On top of all of that they said please make sure there is red meat so the bride can chow down. In addition for her bridal shower she is getting girls to pay for their nails and lunch and she wants gifts cards to a lingerie store. I have tried texting her quite a few times just to see how she is.. but unless it has something to do with her wedding she wont reply. I am getting married four weeks after her reception.. she has flat out said that my wedding is going to be ” too grand”. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  Buttercup014.
Post # 15
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

SoonToBeMrsBOP:  Yep! I can also relate…… I had 2 best friends (J and S), we did everything together. When J got married S became insanely jealous and made Js life a living hell. She even showed up to the wedding 2 hours late even though she was a bridesmaid. 

When I got engaged, J had just had her first baby so we were both very excited talking wedding and baby. S threw a shit fit because the attention wasn’t on her. She also made my wedding planning extremely stressful to the point where I dropped her as a bridesmaid. 

To this day she still tries to find something about my wedding to talk shit about. Lol (6 months later, get over it girl!)

She gets married tomorrow finally……. Then I won’t have to see her again. 

 

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