(Closed) Anyone making sure to not invite people you don’t know?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I didn’t know everyone at my wedding … and my husband didn’t know everyone at our wedding …. but between the two of us, one of us knew every single person.  I take that back – we had one of my hubby’s coworkers bring a date and neither of us knew him (but we did know the coworker).  We had 198 guests.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Ember78: There were people there I didn’t know and people there Darling Husband didn’t know, but between the two of us we had at least met everyone once. Except for one person’s wife. But you can’t really invite someone without their wife and why would you want to?

Post # 5
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

My grandmother has tried twice in the past week to invite random long distant family members I have never met and I am fighting it tooth and nail.

I refuse to have people at my wedding I don’t know. It is a time of celebration with people we love, not random people looking to score free food and drink.

Post # 6
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We’re having a250+ guests, all immediate family (aunts uncles and cousins) and close friends, we’re trying to have only people we know but I might have to give a few +1 to my cousins and a couple of friends but I really don’t want to.

Post # 7
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Absolutely. I would NEVER invite strangers to my wedding. Frankly, it makes no sense to me. I get that sometimes parents want their friends invited but this isn’t the parents wedding, it’s the kids. They shouldn’t get to determine the guest list, even if they’re paying. My parents paid for our ceremony and reception and never once did my mother try to dictate our guest list. I even asked if she wanted to invite her boss and some co-workers (all of whom I know) but she said that it wasn’t necessary.

My aunt said something years ago that has always stuck with me… “Don’t invite anyone to your wedding that you wouldn’t have over for dinner”. So true!

ETA: +1’s are a different story since you can’t really control who your guests bring. The only +1 that we hadn’t met was my MIL’s boss’ girlfriend but at the last minute she couldn’t come so we had no strangers at our wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We were either related to (and talk to freequently) or very close friends with (and talk to frequently) everyone at our wedding. The idea of strangers being part of our day would totally skeeve me out. I know that some people see it as just a big party, but our ceremony was hugely emotional for us. it just wasn;t the kind of thing I wanted to share with strangers, or even regular friends. For us, it was the people who form our core group, and only those people.

Post # 9
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@milesbella:  This might be hard for us to do especially when it comes to family.  We both have big families and neither of us have met all our relatives.  But as far as friends, we are going to try to only invite people both of us know and have met.

Post # 10
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’re having a fairly small wedding (the place only holds 80) so the only strangers that will be there will be a couple of +1s.  On that note, not everyone is being invited with a +1, but of course the bridal party is and a couple of others.  But not all of our single friends who would just bring a random, no thank you!

Post # 11
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

that’s not an option. we *have to* invite some long lost relatives that I may have met once as a child- I don’t know their names, nor faces, nor how they relate to myself. There’s not a lot of those but a good 10-15 or so.

Post # 12
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have no problem with our parents adding some names to the quest list, so far we are under the amount of guests we expect to be inviting…  And my FI’s family will all be traveling 3+ hours so I expect more than a few of those to be no goes….  

Post # 13
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m having a hard enough time trying to decide who “makes the cut” from my our own extended family, let along invite strangers! It’s tough, because you want everyone to have a good time, and sometimes that means bringing a date. But I’m sticking to my guns about that- unless they’ve been together a good long while and it’s serious, no random or recent dates allowed.

Take my one uncle for example. Obviously forgetting what century we’re in, went and had 6 kids. Plus he had one step-daughter now. If I invited the entire crew, plus dates (except the three little ones) that would cost us $800 to wine and dine them! insanity.

This is definitey the most expensive party I will EVER be throwing in my lifetime.

Post # 14
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m thinking about this from the reverse side and I can honestly say I wouldn’t consider attending a wedding if I had never met the bride or groom.  To me, if you’re close enough to the parents or grandparents, at some point you should have been introduced to the people getting married or you shouldn’t be invited. 

Post # 15
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - Salvage One, Chicago

I would prefer not to have people I don’t know at the wedding, but that leaves sort of a sticky situation, for example: work friends.  These are people my Fiance and I work with (we work at the same company) but do I necessarily want their wife/husband to come whom I’ve maybe met once at a holiday party?  Not really, but, is it rude to just invite co-workers and assume they’ll be fine talking to each other?  These are the things I fear.

Post # 16
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We wanted to keep the guest list down to 60-70, but it looks like there will probably be ~100 people who come. That is just really close friends and family (we both come from big families) so we know everyone who is coming. I couldn’t imagine inviting people I didn’t know.

The topic ‘Anyone making sure to not invite people you don’t know?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors