(Closed) Anyone marrying the family favorite?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I did. The difference though was that he was treated the worst out of his siblings. I guess his mother’s crazy reasoning was to make him a better person?? More like, I have to convince him that he’s never capable of beating someone (he was beaten by his dad up to the age of 14) and that he’s a good person. BUT, now that we’re married his whole family has been excluding us…

Post # 18
1396 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow, my Fiance is MOST DEFINITELY the family favorite, but I never thought about it that way!  He’s the first of like 13 grandchildren, and his entire family just thinks he walks on water. 

Now that you mention it, though, I kind of feel a little of both sides of it.  I feel like I’m the golden child’s wife so therefore I’m golden by association, so to speak.  Buuuut, his mom is this spectacular Suzy Homemaker woman: stay at home mom, amazing chef, etc., and that just isn’t me at all. 

No one has ever said anything to me, but I definitely felt a littttttle teensy bit judged when we had Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law over for dinner before we were engaged.  I tried my hardest to be domestic, but it just doesn’t work for me haha.

Post # 19
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My DH is the only shared child of his parents – his family is like the Brady Bunch, if the mom and dad had a baby together. So he has that going for him obviously, and he just turned out really well compared to his siblings, especially his brothers. I think in some ways it has been bad for him – he has a bit of an ego – but all in all, I think things could be worse. Sure, I feel like I had a lot to live up to, but I’m at the point where I’m just me and don’t worry about what they think.

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@Mrs. Spring: I feel like that will happen with us too! Our children will be the only grandchildren his parents share because of the aforementioned Brady Bunch-ing of his family so I think there will be lots of doting, and I am okay with that 🙂

Post # 20
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  My Fiance is definitely the favored child in his family. There is an 8 year age difference between him and his brother. His brother didn’t complete undergrad and Fiance is going for a PhD at a really good university. Fiance is the one who thinks things through, is very easy to get along with, all of that stuff. His brother, while I truly believe has a good heart, can fly off the handle easily (nothing abusive, but he can get upset easily).

  It was tough at first. When I started dating Fiance, I was the first girlfriend and he had just gone off to college. In retrospect, I think his mom was having some difficulty with him being gone. He had always been home, always been there for him (FI was really shy growing up). I do not think she liked me being in the picture, I think she liked being the only woman in her son’s life. There were times where I would be crying from the way she would treat me. She never said anything mean to me, but that was part of the problem. She never said ANYTHING to me! After awhile, I did let Fiance know, and he did talk with his mom. It got a little better, but where I really saw the turnaround was when Fiance chose to go to a PhD program at a better school out of state than get it at a decent (but not as good) school in town, and I fully supported his choice. Once she realized that I wasn’t going to hold him back, things really turned around. Plus, his other brother ended up getting married to a nice girl, too.

  Things are pretty happy now! Everyone’s excited for our wedding. I know there are going to be some bumps along the way, but I don’t feel uncomfortable going to his house anymore.

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