(Closed) Anyone no longer speak to their parents? Rethinking my relationship with mine…

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

My mom died 2 years ago, I was super close to her. 

I have no relationship with my biological father or any of his family. It’s the best decision I ever made to cut ties with him. 

My relationship with my mom’s side of the family is extremely estranged right now, that’s really hard as we were close and once my mom died a lot of things happened. 

You have to do what’s best for you. If its hurtful to keep them in your life take a break and test the waters without any contact for a while. 

I will say that cutting ties with my father was so refreshing; it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. No longer did I cry or get upset if I didn’t hear from him for my birthday or holidays, no longer did his opinion of my failures matter anymore. It was a whole new freedom and I haven’t regretted it for a minute. 

Post # 47
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

iamkat:  But you have already had your ‘closure’ – your parents refuse to discuss the situation with you. You’ve tried a number of times, it hasn’t worked – that well is dry, no point in going to it anymore.  

Post # 48
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry you have to deal with this, I have a shit family too. I think the hardest thing is realising you can’t change them – even if you try harder, try this, try that, they’re still not going to be the family you want/need them to be. Part of me has wished for many many years that my family would get in a car accident or similar and die. It’s really hard to let go, and harder I think to not blame yourself. 

 

Post # 49
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

I would also recommend finding a therapist or support group to help you through the process. It’s REALLY hard seeing photos of other people with their parents, and feeling like you SHOULD be close with your family through societal norms – Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, holidays should be spent with family, etc etc. 

Post # 50
Member
2590 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - County courthouse

I didn’t have a good childhood. I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents as a child. They always expect me to call them every week…but don’t bother calling me unless it’s my bday or they are coming down to visit their families. I have severe anxiety and bipolar disorder so I try to minimize my time with them. My parents friends and my sisters friends don’t even know who I am. The only reason they keep a relationship with me is because of my kids. If I didn’t have kids…I doubt they would even be around. My mom treats me like I’m an idiot just because I never graduated from college. I hate talking to her cuz I never know how she will react. Thank God I love 6 hrs away. If you don’t want to get hurt…I advise you keep your distance. If someone loves and cares about you, they make an effort too. Fuck parents!!!

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