Post # 1
I am not in the wedding but the bride is a friend and she attended my bachalorette party last year. The girls kindly paid for the hotel where we stayed and my mother paid for dinner to relieve a little bit of the burden. The reason I am adding this is because I know it must have costs my friend at least $200 for my bachalorette party.
Her bachalorette party is a destination that will start at about $550 for flight and room. And then of course our activities, food, drinks, etc. I am having trouble deciding if I should go. I am married with a house so my expenses have significantly increased, two appliances in my kitchen went last week, and Darling Husband and I both need new cars, on top of the fact that we have to pay for a vacation we are taking in 7 months that is already booked. So while I do technically have the money there are other things I really need it for and don’t know if I can swing the money right now.
We are not as close as we used to be but we still have the same circle of friends. What would you do?
Post # 3
@roxy821:That’s a lot of money!! I probably wouldn’t go just because of the expense but I’d find a way to connect with the bride some other way.
Post # 4
I would just be honest with her and let her know that although you would love to go, you just have a lot of other expenses currently.
Post # 5
don’t go. you said you can’t afford it, and you’re not *that* close to the girl.
Post # 6
yeah, I’d have to pass – I know I wouldn’t be able to have fun anyway if I was worried about overspendig the whole time (and that usually happens with bachelorette parties). Join in on the fun afterward 🙂
Post # 7
If I could swing it yes I would go, if not no. I would just talk to the bride and explain unfortunately you are not able to come due to as you mentioned. People need to be understanding that sometimes things like this happen
Post # 8
I should add that I am friends with her since Darling Husband is friends with her Fiance. Her Fiance organized DH’s bachelor party. So if I say I don’t have the money, does he go or not go?
Post # 9
I would just explain that you cannot afford to go and make your own plans to hang out another night. She most likely understands its a big expense and not everyone will be able to go.
Post # 10
Explain it to her politely, and tell her you’ll take her out for drinks or have a girls’ movie night when she gets back. Friends understand stuff like this!
Post # 11
Thanks girls for your advice! I just don’t want to come off as a jerk since she did come to mine.
Post # 12
I second what Beluga said: Offer to take her out for drinks, or have a spa day with her for just the two of you.
Post # 13
You wouldn’t come off as a jerk. I’m sure she would understand. I have some bridesmaids who can’t come to mine due to either scheduling or financial, and I have absolutely no problem with it. It is an expensive trip (nothing really ridiculous, but still a chunk of change), so from the offset I had let them all know that if they couldn’t come, I knew it had no bearing on my relationship with them. Just talk to her about it, and I’m sure she won’t be mad.
Post # 14
I’d skip it. Unless you’re my sister or best friend, I don’t do destination bachelorette parties… even if I can afford it, I just have other financial priorities. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a bad friend, but it is how I feel about it.