Anyone not do premarital counseling and have a good marriage?

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

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emilyofnewmoon :  ? Do you seriously not get the point of a forum.. she asked for thoughts and opinions thats what mine is. 

I think its a cash grab.. if you disagree great..why are you replying directly to me? are you a counsellor or something.

Post # 32
Member
208 posts
Helper bee

She’s an officiant AND does marriage counseling? Did you mention marriage counseling to her before or did she bring this up out of the blue? If so this is a great business plan and while I respect the hustle, I have to agree that this is a cash grab and I wouldn’t do marriage counseling with someone who is clearly looking for a quick buck. 

Post # 33
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

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Mlim :  I feel like it depends on whether you are able to talk about major things openly even if they might be contentious or whether it is better for you guys to have a mediator/moderator. And also wehther there are any issues to resolve.

Keep in mind that a lot of people do couples counseling as a requirement of a religious officiant, and that religiously-sponsored couples counseling is religious in nature–what does it mean to be a husband/wife within your faith? How will you set up a [insert religion] home? etc.

If I were you, I’d go through a list  of open-ended like this one: https://www.thespruce.com/premarriage-questions-list-2303597

ETA: Saw that you were able to find a free program. By all means, do it if you’re interested. But don’t expect it to necessarily be transformative.

Post # 34
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee

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emilyofnewmoon :  Many people have also responded that they didnt find premarital counseling useful. Some states offer a discount on the marriage license if couples undergo premarital counseling. Unsurprisingly, this has resulted in a cottage industry of programs offering online counselling at the price of the discount. Those definitely feel like cash grabs.

Post # 36
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

We didn’t do it but what I wish we’d had more than a session was an on call referee for one wedding planning related spat.

Also a lot of my stress was down to vendors including our officiant who came off great but then whenever we talked to her she didn’t remember the last call! So having our officiant do therapy for us would have been not helpful as she was one of the bigger issues. 

i think it’s good either way-not having it/not having it won’t make you marriage good or bad. But weddings can be stressful so I do think it’s good to be ready to seek out extra resources to keep your sanity 

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