(Closed) Anyone NOT have a lot of friends?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

 I have like 2 close friends and that’s it. I made a lot of friends in college, but most of them have moved away, and I live in a very out of the way city noone likes to drive to. None of the friends I did have, have ever visited me where I live except the close friend I still have and this other girl whom is also a good friend. I think a lot of couples and married people lose most of their friends anyway, especially when you start having a family, you don’t have the money to be hanging out with people anymore. So don’t feel alone!!! And I’m not even that close to much of my family either. Most the people at my wedding will be my fiance’s family, so at least that. I’m not gonna worry about it, it is what it is. I’m very hard to get to know, it takes me a long time to get close to people, that’s just how I am, and I’m very bad at keeping in touch with people.

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m in pretty much the same boat – huge extended family (and we’re all really close), but not many actual friends. Our guestlist breakdown was

My friends: 13

His friends: 37

Mutual friends: 14

My family: 80(ish)

His family: 60

I’m just not good at making friends – plus most of my friends don’t really live in the area. On the other hand, I’m pretty confidant that, of the friends I do have, I’m really close with all of them. My husband is really close with about 10 of his friends, the rest are less close.

I wouldn’t worry about things looking “uneven” at the wedding – are you inviting cousins, etc. that will bring the average age down a little? I doubt anyone else will really notice.

The bachelorette thing is tricky, too. I was originally not having one, and was a little jealous of my fiance who got a big party with all his friends. I got to go out to tea with some family, though, which was kinda nice. It’s hard when you’ve only got a handful of people to find an activity that they’re all going to enjoy.

Post # 5
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i’m not sure if i have any close friends anymore, to be honest. since i moved from my home state, i’ve lost touch with a lot of my close friends which is pretty upsetting to me. i consider Fiance to be my bestest friend and not just because we’re in a relationship together but because he truly gets me for who i am. it makes me sad that i don’t have a lot of girlfriends but it’s understandable because i’m not a very social person and it’s hard for me to go out of my way to connect with someone. i’m pretty shy which also doesn’t help. i don’t know. i used to be a lot better at being a social person but since i moved to a state where i don’t know anyone, i’ve become a lot more introverted. i’m okay with it because i know i am a kind and generous person…i just have trouble putting myself out there to make friends. 

so don’t feel awkward. there are people (like me!) who completely understand what you’re sayin! πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Agreed. Despite being someone my coworkers would call social, I can count on 1 hand the number of people I call friends. Most people I would label acquitances. It just means you have high standards. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have maybe 5 friends? And I only see 1 regularly. We just moved 30 minutes away from everyone but you’d think we’d have moved a lot further out. Everyone’s always so busy (us included) and it’s hard to keep regular contact. 

 

For my bachelorette, I’m inviting all the females coming to the wedding, to it. I didn’t want nightclub dancing with plastic tiaras and ‘bride to be’ sashes, nor strippers. So we’re all going to a high tea and then a wine tasting :). 

Post # 9
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee

Aside from DBF, I have no friends anywhere near my age. I lost touch with my high school classmates, and when I went off to university, I was hopeful that I’d make some. Nope – after a clusterfuck involving my then-roommate moving out in the most passive-aggressive manner possible (we still shared the same bathroom), I became depressed and withdrawn. While I am in a better place mentally, my social life is still nonexistant.

OP, I’m glad you mentioned that university wasn’t the time of your life. I attended a well-known party school, so I completely get where you’re coming from. Honestly, I’m jealous of all the people who have many female friends from different stages of their life. Until I met DBF, I never had a friend that went out of their way to spend time with me as much as I enjoyed being around them. He and I just “get” one another, and I’m fortunate to have him. But I can’t help but feel jealous when I see my old high school classmates post pictures of themselves on Facebook with their BFFs/roommates/sorority sisters, or even the brides here with sizeable bridal parties. πŸ™

Post # 12
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have one best friend (Ok two if you count FI) and then only 5 other people I consider friends. Only my best friend will be in attendance at the wedding but we are having an intimate wedding with a grand total of 13 guests. But my Maid/Matron of Honor will be the only non-family member there. And in honesty I doubt I will stay in contact with 4 of the 5 in the friend category after we all move on with our lives after college. Even with my best friend… we only talk once every couple of months and see each other in person 3 time a year if we’re lucky. All I can say is I’m an introvert and the social interaction I need I get from Fiance.

Post # 13
Member
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i’m not a social person. at all. so i don’t make friends easily.

as for having genuine real friends that i see all the time? no. the only person that i see all the time is my fiance. i don’t see my best friend barely at all, she’s in canada. my other best friend is so consumed in her own life, i see her maybe twice a month. and the rest of my friends are nowhere near me, most of my friends i have met online. i have very few “real life” people that i consider friends. i’ve been burned by too many people in the past, and don’t trust very easily.

Post # 14
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee

@goingtotherooftopoflove:  I keep track of my Facebook friends, but I seldom talk to them. The last time I communicated with one of them was when I learned one of my better friends from high school was going through a breakup. I offered to help, but I never heard back from her.

And if you agreeing with my post wasn’t enough, I have a rather mild case of Asperger’s as well. I may have the benefit of receiving a diagnosis very early on (at age four), but more than anything, it makes me wary in social situations. It really made university tough, if only because no one would even say hi to me. I hate saying hello first.

Post # 15
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@goingtotherooftopoflove:  I have two close friends and a whole whack of acquaintances. Some of us just aren’t social butterflies. My SO is the same way.

I am not sure how many true friends most people have. The so-called popular people have tons of acquaintances, but I bet they only have a few true friends as well.

You sound like an introvert. It took me a long time to accept that I’m not a social butterfly and won’t be the life of the party, but I am ok with it now. We’re eloping… it means more to us to be together than inviting a bunch of people we hardly know.

You’re lucky you have a big extended family – neither of us do lol. I always wanted a big family but you can’t really pick that, right?

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