- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
I think I need to vent a little bit, and I want to spare my friends and my siblings.
I was the third child growing up to parents who probably didn’t think through having kids. My dad is definitely a workaholic and my mother had little to no interest in us other than what she was “supposed” to do, i.e. feed us, enroll us in school, etc. My parents had a volatile relationship and while they seldom hit one another, we grew up being told to fear our dad (he never hit us) and witnessed a lot of verbal and emotional abuse.
As a teenager, I was exposed to families who actually loved one another and had get togethers. This really opened my eyes and I began to pull away from my parents. They overreacted and said I was “hanging out with the wrong crowd”, and moved me out of state. I moved out of their house as soon as I could and started to support myself.
I’ve obviously been in and out of relationships and while I don’t regret anything, I feel like a bad person for really not wanting to deal with my parents any longer. I love my dad and I guess maybe my mom to some extent, but they have let me down my entire life and passed far too much judgement on me without solid guidance. They are now insisting I have babies and how they are so excited “when” I get pregnant, that I no longer want to EVER get pregnant. They constantly hound me about this relationship and question if it will last, even though we’ve gone ring shopping and my boyfriend has supported me in bettering myself.
They are visiting from out of town and my boyfriend met my dad for the first time last night. It went fine, but when it was time to leave my dad followed us out to my car like he didn’t want me to go or he was “sending a message” to my boyfriend he would protect me or something else ridiculous. I don’t know why, but that pisses me off. Probably because all they did was make me grow up on my own, independent of them, and learn things through my own devices rather than being assisted.
*** sigh*** so… just venting. Let me be clear that I don’t really think about them much, as I’ve had a lot of years to deal with this. It’s just annoying to see such marked differences in families and have to explain sometimes why I don’t seem to love my parents a lot.