(Closed) anyone not having a bridal party

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Mrs. T, I have a 16y/o girl and a 14y/o old boy from a previous marriage and they will be our bridal party. My BFF was understanding although she assumed she would be my Maid/Matron of Honor but we’re trying to keep it intimate. Us and the kids, do what feels right to you.

Post # 4
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Nope, none. We’re involving people in other ways (officiating, music etc). I honestly have always sort of felt weird about the idea, particularly since so much emphasis is placed on the aesthetics. It feels like bridesmen and groomsmen are at least sometimes used as "props". The one downside is that you don’t have anyone clear to handle certain duties, so you’ll just have to ask people to help out without the title.

Post # 5
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We’re not doing a bridal party, just his niece and nephew as flower girl and ring bearer.

We, like MegK are involving people in other ways…officiating, singing, reading, toast, etc.  I have so many girlfriends, it would be a gaggle of girls and we really just wanted something simple and intimate.   

Post # 6
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We are just having a Maid of Honor, a Best Man, and two flower girls. I’m debating about whether or not will need an usher or two. We’re going to have about 100 guests so I’m just not sure.

Post # 7
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We’re not having a bridal party. Apart from having a very small wedding to begin with, we felt that many of our guests will already be spending a lot of money to travel to our wedding, and asking them to pay for dresses and all the other things associated with being in the wedding party on top of that was just too much.

Post # 8
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

A friend of mine didn’t have a bridal party, and while it was obviously her choice to make, I did find one problem with it.  That is, she asked a lot of people to help with stuff, but no one sort of got the "honor" of being made part of the bridal party.  It just seemed like a lot of the girls that helped her out, threw the parties, etc. should have received some sort of recognition. 

I should mention that I’m not one of her closer friends, so I’m sure I wouldn’t have been asked if she did have a bridal party (ie, it’s not that *I* wanted some sort recognition; I didn’t help her out nearly as much as others, anyway).

Also, I think part of the reason that I didn’t like it was that she didn’t really have a reason for not having a bridal party (eg, small wedding, second wedding, drama, etc.).  I think for a lot of people, it can make perfect sense, but it just didn’t seem to in this case.

Post # 9
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

We’re not having a bridal party.  We have 6 sisters between us (and no brothers), and we didn’t want anyone to feel left out.  Our two oldest sisters are readers for the ceremony, but we just offerred all the sisters the chance to come along for manicures/pedicures the day before or getting the hair/make-up done the day of.  Of course, we’re also not asking anyone to do anything for the wedding they wouldn’t have to do otherwise (i.e. go to the rehearsal dinner, show up for pictures, etc…). 

Post # 10
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m not having a wedding party. Mostly because I don’t need one (We are LDS and getting married in the temple) and everyone I would have had in my party can’t make it in time anyway. My Fiance and I decided to go ahead without one and just worry about us. Its actually been quite nice not having to worry about anyone else and if they will be to things on time, have their attire, have things scheduled, etc. Its so nice! =)

Post # 11
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

I didn’t have one and i am so happy i didn’t. my best friends know who they are, they didn’t need to wear matching dresses to know that i love them. they got together  and threw me a bachlorette, came dress shopping and fittings, and all the good stuff you want your best friends to do, and they all looked gorgeous at my wedding, since they got to wear what they wanted. my brothers and my sisters in law (2 of each) walked down the aisle and stood by us, as did our parents (we’re jewish), and that was just perfect. no choosing between friends, no dealing with "color schemes" and bad dresses. just lots of love all around.

Post # 12
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

We didn’t have a wedding party. At all. My bestests still got ready with me and I totally have no regrets for doing it this way. :o)

Post # 13
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t plan on having one. At the most one person on each side if he really insists. I think its a good way to cut down drama and stress. We really don’t have any "best friends" and I have all brothers and his brother wouldn’t want to be by his side. I plan to welcome my closer friends to join me in getting ready, wedding dress shopping, and whatever else. I don’t see the purpose of a bridal party really. 

Post # 14
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh wow! This is heartening. I thought I was the only one on Weddingbee NOT having a bridal party. Honestly at this point it’s made the wedding planning a bit more streamlined for us. Our main reason was that if Fiance included everyone he felt he should include he would have had 8 groomsmen. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but that was something neither one of us wanted to take on. Plus I would have wanted at the very most 4 people

We are including people in many ways including (hopefully) a friend who will sing, a friend who will do my makeup (she volunteered), a friend who will do our toast and a DOC. So far we’ve heard no complaints.

Post # 15
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We’re not having a wedding party, either. Honestly, we’re both in our 30’s, have been in quite a few wedding parties (along with most of our friends), and kind of feel that we’re past that! In our minds, everyone who attends our ceremony is taking on the duty of the wedding party and "standing up for us". As far as showers and bachelorette parties, I figure that if my girlfriends want to do something, then fabulous! Either way, they don’t need to spend $400+plus to feel that they are an important part of our union.

I have no regrets about it — and although some might feel like you need an excuse to not have a wedding party, it really doesn’t matter. It’s what feels right to you and your SO. 

Cheers!

Post # 16
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

No wedding party here.  I have no reason not to other than I just don’t want to.  I didn’t figure any of my friends would be able to help that much with the wedding because of their schedules this time of year (most are accountants) so I really don’t feel guilty about it.  We have been very happy with this because several of our friends that have recently gotten married has had some serious drama with the bridal party.  I’m so glad I don’t have that to deal with and I can focus on my up-coming marriage.

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