(Closed) Anyone not having a wedding party?? How do you pick??

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I am not having a wedding party.  One way to involve people is to ask them to do readings during the ceremony, or toasts during your reception.  also, you can involve them in things that you think they would like – i had several friends come to pick out my dress with me, and they loved it, but know that they are not bridesmaids.  i am sure that your friends or family will still be happy to do certain things for you even without the title.  if you don’t want them up there with you during the ceremony, i don’t think you need to call them “bridesmaid”. just my opinion – congrats on your engagement!

Post # 4
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We pretty much had no wedding party because my Darling Husband did not want one (he had TOO many to pick from, but I only had a couple) and we didn’t want a big wedding.  Our guests were about the same number.  I insisted I HAD to have one, plus we have five kids between the two of us.  So in the end, our kids walked down (three little ones together, two older ones together) and then my bridesmaids walked down and just sat with the kids.  It wasn’t traditional or anything, but it included our kids and I got to have my “wedding party”.

Post # 5
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

eriqua has some good ideas. we’re not having a bridal party either, but my sister and college friend are my de facto bridal party. i’m just not calling them bridesmaids.  would that or eriqua’s suggestions help at all?

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m in a similar position.  We want a small wedding party, since we’ll be incorporating our children into the wedding, we thought we’ll have a Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man and then our kids.  Well, I can’t seem to pick between my sisters and my BFFa (three).  Mr. Snuggie is cool with picking one guy though.  So, we’ve been thinking of just not having anyone other than us and our kids in the wedding party. 

No wedding party, so I don’t expect anyone to do any of those traditional things.  No wedding party is good for our situation because we’re an older couple and we have children.  So, it all depends on your situation.  If you’re comfortable with no wedding party, go for it.  The focus will be on your and you don’t have to worry about what bridesmaid dresses will work for your girls.  Whatever you decide, do what your heart tells you is right.  We’re early in the planning stages, so we might end up with a small bridal party; but as of today, we’re both good with the wedding party consisting of us and the kids. 

Post # 7
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Small wedding >50 guests, destination wedding, no wedding party.

Post # 8
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am truly undecided.

Post # 9
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I have about 60 guests, no wedding party, no ring bearer or flower girl. My FMIL is throwing a bridal shower so that’s when the women in the family can celebrate with me and get involved. We do have a best man and Maid/Matron of Honor so they can carry the rings and later give toasts.

Post # 10
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

small wedding, destination wedding, small wedding party (2+2)

Post # 11
286 posts
Helper bee

We are having a really small wedding…but we are going to have a wedding party…I have three friends that have really helped me get through somethings in my life…I really think it is your choice who you want to have or not….I know that I am going to hurt some feelings by not including some of my other friends in the wedding party but we really want to keep it small…and I think that if they are truly happy for me then they will understand anyway…

Post # 12
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My Boyfriend or Best Friend did not have a Bridal Party… There are three of us that have been BFs for years. Unfortunately, her FH did not have friends close enough that he wanted to ask and she did not want to have to deal with family pressure to add family members she did not want in her Bridal Party. It looked a little off since they had a wedding w/ 200 people invited… again, family pressure. Instead her 2 BFs and 2 brothers lit like 100 candles in the church after the moms lit the candles during the ceremony. It was unique and beautiful. 🙂

No matter how you want to look at it… there are those that stand out the most as the best best friend or sibling. I’d suggest some special recognition like my friend did or just have one person for each yourself and your FH.

Post # 13
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are having a small destination wedding (less than 25 people), so no wedding party either!!  I have my best friends coming down for the wedding and they know that I still want them there for the classic “bridesmaids” events like a breakfast the morning of the wedding and getting ready with me.  But there’s no reason for them to stand up there with us and I’m not bothering to call them bridesmaids.  My fiance will have a best man and I will have a Maid/Matron of Honor though, because they are our very closest friends and we want each of them to sign our marriage certificate! But both won’t be standing up there with us.  I think I might get both of them a flower or something to wear 🙂


Post # 14
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We are in a very similar situation. I know who I would ask, but he has too many people to choose from. All of the potential wedding party people live far away from us, so they couldn’t do things like dress/tux shopping, cake tasting, etc. I think we will probably do no wedding party, but ask any friends who want to be involved to be our unofficial wedding crew. They can participate and feel included without spending a ton to fly to us for events.

I also don’t want a bridal shower and we’ve agreed not to do a bachelor/bachelorette — so we wouldn’t need the wedding party to organize that stuff, either.

I guess the only thing we really need is some people to coordinate the day of — hopefully a close friend or family member who is super organized.

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