(Closed) Anyone not having FI’s sibling/s in the wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
3761 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes, I feel bad because my brother and sister are in the party but none of his three sisters are.  One of them is crazy and I couldn’t have the two and not her, so none of them are part of it.  All three of his sisters have kids so it would be hard for them to be part of the wedding. 

Post # 33
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Nope. FI’s sister hates me because I “stole her brother from her.” She has literally been mean to me since day one. She has made me cry, told Future In-Laws lies about me, tried to break Fiance and up, etc. She did not acknowledge our engagement when it happened over a year ago. She has been so abusive towards me that I cannot be around her at all. I would never stop Fiance from having a relationship with his sister, but for my own sanity, I just cannot be her emotional punching bag anymore.

Regardless if she’s FI’s sister or not, I feel that the people you choose to be in your wedding party are supposed to be the people closest to you and Fiance, who are genuinely there to be happy for and support the bride and groom. I cannot have someone in my wedding who does not want us to get married.

Out of respect for Fiance and his parents, she will be permitted to do a reading at the wedding, but that’s it. Given her outrageous behavior towards me, I feel I’m being generous to even allow that.

Post # 34
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My brother is in our wedding, but not Fiance sister. She is too young, immature, and self centered.

She threw a fit when we got engaged because the attention was not on her, how the heck would it be on our day?

Fiance family isnt pleased, but Fiance agrees with me, so it doesnt matter.

Post # 35
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@ Monkey Girl

 

Sounds like my Future Mother-In-Law.. i feel your pain!

Post # 36
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My Fiance has one sister and she’s not in the bridal party.  I like her but we’re not very close — and it’s looking like we’ll have about 85 guests, so a large wedding party wouldn’t have made much sense. I’m an only child so no worries there.  We’re both having two close friends as BM/GM.  Plus, FI’s sister has a kiddo who will be about 18 months at the time of the wedding and she isn’t sure if her husband can come up for the wedding so if the kiddo’s there, she’ll need to be seated with him. 

Post # 37
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@ cupcake 26- it sucks doesn’t, it? I tried so hard to be friends with her but she clearly wasn’t interested. For sooo long I also tried to deal with her chronic insanity, and it only left me drained and in tears. So I decided that instead of wasting my time trying to overcome her issues (which really don’t have anything to do with me) I would just remove myself from the situation.

I don’t have it in me to wish her any harm, I just want her to stay away from me. After nearly destroying my relationship with her brother and their parents, she moved half way across the country, so ‘dealing’ with her has been easy peasy, since I now don’t have to see her. When she comes home to visit her family, I encourage Fiance to see her but I simply don’t attend. It works out better for everyone that way.

Post # 38
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Monkeygirl… same with me!! They fought like cats and dogs their whole lives, but once I came along, I was “stealing her brother away.” Please! I actually knew my Future Sister-In-Law before I knew my Fiance, and she thinks I used her to get to him– completely untrue. She had nothing to do with it. She also blamed me for her parents’ divorce, but that’s another story. At one point, she made threats on my life, though she later pleaded drunk and apologized profusely. I told her the damage was done.

I really, really, really didn’t want her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but the Fiance pointed out that it would likely be worse if I didn’t include her than if I did. She (and her mom) would have raised a royal ruckus and ruined our experience. I caved, against my better judgement. Now she’s the only Bridesmaid or Best Man who hasn’t bought her dress– not that it matters, but I don’t want her standing up with us in something totally random. My brother is one of the FI’s groomsmen, but they have a much better relationship.

Argh.

Post # 39
Member
1479 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Nope.  Fiance is an only child and my brother isn’t a groomsman, nor is his wife a bridesmaid even though I was one of hers; she is having a baby right before our wedding so I figured she would rather not have to worry about being a Bridesmaid or Best Man after recovering from a C-section!

Post # 40
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@ MissLeah- The situation between FI’s sister and I got REALLY bad. I explained, in a respectful manner, to my Future In-Laws exactly why I cannot be around their daughter, the things she has done to me, and how it makes me feel. Her behavior towards me was so outrageous they understood and didn’t even try to argue about it. I know they would rather us all get along like one big happy family, but until their daughter gets some serious professional help, I cannot be around her. I didn’t really give them a choice. I needed to do it for myself. Naturally, it is obvious to everyone involved (including FI’s sister) why she is not in our wedding, and neither she nor the Future In-Laws have ever brought it up. They know not to.

Sorry you don’t have a choice to keep FI’s sister out of your wedding. But I guess if the Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law will ruin your day, you chose correctly by picking your battles.

I totally feel your pain and sympathize completely with you, though. I don’t want FI’s sister involved in our ceremony AT ALL, because I feel it would be all fake. But I love my Fiance so much that if having his sister do a reading for 2 minutes would make him happy, then I will suck it up and deal with it. Marriage is about compromise, right?

 

Post # 41
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

I’m not.  FI’s brother will be his best man, but his sister will not be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I don’t have a close relationship with her, so it’s not like she was expecting it or anything.  I did ask her to be in the house party because I do want to include her in some way on the big day.

Post # 42
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

FI’s brother isn’t in the wedding at all. My mom thinks that’s strange but no one else seems to mind. Fiance was an usher for his brother’s wedding, not a groomsman, but we aren’t planning to have ushers. FI’s brother’s twins are our flower girl and ring bearer though.

Post # 43
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Uhh no dear you should not boot anyone out just to have her in it! Its your wedding..

Post # 44
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I went through this while planning my wedding as well.  But neither Darling Husband nor myself were/are close to his sister (or brothers).  We had no one from his immediate family in our wedding party.  But we did do family pictures with all of them. 

Darling Husband and I made this decision together…actually I thought we should include them just to avoid any family drama, but he said no.  And I am happy that I was surrounded by those closest to me on my wedding day. 🙂

I know it’s hard, but it’s one day, your day. It’s not always about pleasing everyone else. Stay strong and don’t let anyone make you feel badly about your decision.

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