Post # 1
I’ve read SO many posts about bees saying how awful they feel about some little (or sometimes not so little) detail that went wrong in their wedding… how they don’t like looking at their wedding photos and cry just thinking about it, and I feel so horrible for them…
… but I can’t help but think that we have no one but ourselves to blame for it… we keep saying “it’s the wedding industry, pushing down our throats the image of the perfect wedding…” but can’t we see that WE are the wedding industry??? we’re the engine! we’re the ones who obssess with every little detail and who go crazy if anything goes a little bit different from our plans.
I really, really, really don’t want to look back at my wedding with anger or sadness. I want to enjoy the day (THE day, not MY day…) and i want to enjoy looking at my wedding photos! So I’ve decided not to want the perfect wedding. I’m going to have a nice wedding, where things WILL go wrong, where I might forget to do the bouquet toss or the flowers might not be exactly the colour I picked. And yes, the cake might not be as nice as the one on the photo when I ordered it.
I don’t know if I can pull it off, but I’m trying…………..
Anyone else going for a not perfect wedding???
Post # 3
Me too. 99.9% of the details don’t really matter. Everyone having a good time and everyone getting home safe = one perfect night.
Post # 4
I agree! How many people actually remember what your decorations were on your table. They remember how much fun they had, if they ate good and how happy the bride and groom looked. Maybe if there was an open bar too LOL. I’m trying to keep it simple so I’m not stressing about unimportant things. Don’t let the details run your wedding!!
Post # 5
I totally agree! I really don’t care about the details; the only big ideas.
I’m getting married on a beach, I don’t care what beach as long as it looks nice.
I want tropical-ish flowers but I really don’t care what kind.
I don’t care about the food as long as it tastes good.
Things like table numbers and chair sashes aren’t even on my radar.
I just want a fun day of bringing family and friends together!
And I figure anything that goes wrong we’ll laugh about for years, “everything went perfect” isn’t a very interesting story… but stories like my fiance’s parents’ cake falling over at their wedding is much more interesting.
Post # 6
@abbyful: hehe agreed! i’m not even having a seating chart (it’s not very common where i come from), people can just sit wherever they prefer!!!
Post # 7
We went to a friend’s wedding last year where everything went wrong– the grooms was extremely ill, she brought the wrong version of her vows, they couldn’t do their first dance bc the groom couldn’t stand up that long. But you know what? It was awesome. They laughed off every problem and despite it all they were so happy. And we had a great time! So now I’m like you, I accept that things WILL go wrong, but at the end of the day we’ll be married, so who really cares?
Post # 8
Me! And I work in the wedding industry. I think for me I’ve seen my couples who just have a regular ol wedding, not theme or detail obsessed have more fun. My invites were from michaels and people have been fawning all over them. Our cake is a surprise, we know the flavors but not if it’s round or square or anything else. No top of the line chairs. If something happens it happens. Oh well, as long as we get married I’m golden.
Post # 9
I agree completely. At the end of the day I want to be married and that’s all that really matters. I’m hoping for some nice photos out of the day, but if the photographer drops the ball I know I have many friends with cameras who will be taking pictures that day. If the flowers don’t show up, I’ll go pick some. Anything that goes wrong usually has a solution, the guests are more likely to remember if the couple looked happy than if the color of the ribbon on the bouquet matches the bridesmaid’s dress exacty.
Post # 10
Love that you posted this. I think we do get caught up in having the perfect wedding, but as long as the most important part such as saying ” I do” happens……..that is all that really matters. Details are just that and will be forgotten. Most the time we are the only ones that notice them anyway.
I have to admit, I was confused at your post in the beginning but glad you posted it. Makes light of all our ridiculous obsession!
Post # 11
I just wrote a post about this a few days ago, embracing the things that went wrong at my wedding and others I have attended. I too was always bothered that girls let little things ruin their day, and many of the unplanned things turned into my favorite moments. Read it, you will probably get a kick out of it and the ensuing replies:
All the things that can go wrong at a wedding…
As a preview: My flowers froze, my bridesmaid spilled red wine on her dress, my sister forgot the ring and then dropped it during the ceremony, AND I accidentally left a black hair tie on my wrist the whole ceremony and reception without noticing (and without anyone telling me!)
Post # 12
I agree. I have not been obsessing about the details…
I picked out my guestbook and pen set because it is plain and cheap, while still looking nice. I made my table numbers, and while I don’t LOOOOVE them, they’ll do the job. We’re not having ANY ceremony flowers (just wedding party flowers) and I’m cool with that. I doubt we’re even going to notice, looking back at our pictures. Picking out the cake was easy, and as long as it has some sort of blue and white in it, I think I’ll be cool with that.
I am the type to get REALLY stressed out if I let myself, so I’m not letting myself. What will be will be, as they say. So yea, I’m not really sweating the details. There are so many more important things to worry about.
Post # 13
Spending a night with people I don’t get to see very often means more to me than flowers and decorations and have everythign be perfect. However, I want really good cake. I like cake so it needs to be killer. That is the one thing I would be bummed about if it went wrong. Mmm…cake. Must go find cake.
Post # 14
@In the media:
well said. You are so right. Over 1/2 of our wedding party is from out of town and I am so excited to see everyone! That is all I can think about rehashing funny old memories.
Food was my most important thing so it took me a while to find the right one but it was worth it.
Post # 15
Haha, actually, before we started planning, I told my fiance that I hope something goes wrong (maybe not drastically so though) at our wedding. The weddings where something has gone awry that I have attended have often been the most memorable, and the bride and groom have great stories to tell afterward – assuming they approach it with the right attitude. I’m talking stuff like misplacing the rings, tripping and landing in a guest’s lap while walking down the aisle, the cake ending up being hideous, stuff like that. NOT the kind of thing where someone has a stroke during the ceremony or something!
Post # 16
I think that imperfect weddings really give you something to remember. Mine was in May – two weekends before it was really hot – my wedding day it rained and then snowed lol. The pictures of snow falling were beautiful. Nothing stressed me out that day. My husband accidently stepped on the back of my dress and broke my bustle so I danced with my train in one hand. I had sooooo much fun! The day is what you make it. I was so happy to be marrying my best friend surrounded by our loved ones – nothing else mattered!